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Album of the Year 2020: Car Seat Headrest - Making a Door Less Open

2020.12.02 18:00 IndieheadsAOTY Album of the Year 2020: Car Seat Headrest - Making a Door Less Open

Album of the Year 2020: Car Seat Headrest - Making a Door Less Open
Hello everyone and welcome to Day 2 of the indieheads Album of the Year 2020 Write-Up Series where the users of indieheads go in-depth on their favorite albums of the year throughout the duration of December. Up today, series founder u/ReconEG talks Car Seat Headrest’s polarizing Making A Door Less Open.
May 1st, 2020 - Matador
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Background
The time period between Car Seat Headrest’s Matador debut, Teens of Style, in 2015 and the 2018 remake of Twin Fantasy was a massive, massive breakthrough period for the band. Starting off as a solo project of sorts by founder Will Toledo, the band had expanded its lineup to seven members for the Twin Fantasy tour, taking songs Toledo recorded initially in his car and filling them out to play in bigger and bigger venues, peaking around February 2019 when the band opened for Interpol at Madison Square Garden.
Behind the scenes though, Toledo was year 3 into writing the follow-up to Teens of Denial and Twin Fantasy, sporadically entering the studio between one elongated tour after another to work these ideas out with his core lineup of drummer Andrew Katz, guitarist Ethan Ives, and bassist Seth Dalby, which was solidified in 2016 after the recording of Teens of Denial. While the band was praised for its resemblance to indie royalty acts of the 90s and early 2000s, they were all getting kind of sick of making music in that vein, all clearly pushing for something different.
It was Katz especially that Toledo confided in as a collaborator, as seeing him work on his 1 Trait Danger project opened up new songwriting possibilities, taking these songs he was writing and making them work around Katz expertise in EDM mixing. While early versions of the songs and ideas that would make their way into this follow-up album were more indebted to early new-wave than anything else, things would drastically shift by mid to late 2019 when they entered the studio proper to record this album, as at this point Toledo began to devise the album as a collaboration with 1 Trait Danger, with Toledo writing the songs as the gas-mask-wearing character Trait.
The sessions concluded in October, but Toledo and the band kept tweaking and working on the album, even after turning the album into Matador twice for vinyl and CD pressings, as the album was only officially completed weeks before it came out on DSPs. By the time the album’s second single, “Martin”, came out, the band was forced to delay (and eventually cancel) their tour for MADLO, where Toledo would have performed as Trait, wearing a custom-made gas mask (as seen in the music video and various press photos) with LED-eyes.
In the press release/album description, Toledo said the following about the mask:
Bob Dylan said, “if someone’s wearing a mask, he’s gonna tell you the truth...if he’s not wearing a mask, it’s highly unlikely.” He never actually wore a mask onstage so I don’t know why he said that. But I decided to start wearing a mask for a couple of reasons. One, I still get nervous being onstage with everybody looking at me. If everyone is looking at the mask instead, then it feels like we’re all looking at the same thing, and that is more honest to me. Two, music should be about enjoying yourself, especially live music, and I think of this costume as a way to remind myself and everyone else to have some fun with it. I don’t think it changes anything else about the songs or how you feel about them to be able to drop it for a second and have fun with it. If you can’t do that then you’re in a bad place…
Making A Door Less Open was released on May 1st, 2020 via Matador, and the band’s activities since its release have been limited, with Toledo playing a couple of acoustic live streams on his Twitch channel, the band performing “Can’t Cool Me Down” on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and the upcoming release of Katz’s second video game, Lombardi's World (For the sake of transparency, I got to play the game early in a press session a few weeks ago), the objective of which is to kill Matador Records founder Chris Lombardi. The game is also being published by Matador Records and Trait (voiced by Toledo) appears as a playable character.
Write-Up by ReconEG
Prologue: 2016, The Life of Pablo, and Falling Out of Love with Kanye West & In Love w/ Denial
Remember when we all weren’t sick of Kanye West? Or at the very least, remember when we could tolerate Kanye West’s bullshit? It seems like a lifetime ago, but there was a time where Kanye West made records that, even with a ton of baggage, were unfathomably great. Coming into 2016 though, I had a lot more fear about the next Kanye West album. While 2014 was mostly a quiet year for him in terms of new music, 2015 saw Kanye spending a year ramping up to something. What that was was hard to guess. Whether he was showing his soft side on “Only One,” attempting to pivot back to pop on “FourFiveSeconds” or trying to make an arena banger in “All Day”, almost nothing he released this year landed for me. The fact that my favorite Kanye song in 2015 was a leaked reference track for Rihanna speaks volumes to how bad of a year this was for him.
But in 2016, the slate was cleared as Kanye began to properly set up the release of a new album. I’m sure most of you reading this have some sort of PTSD related to the release of The Life of Pablo so I won’t make you relive much of the events, but overall after going back and forth for at least a solid month or two, I realized that I was falling out of love with Kanye West. While there were still bits of genius in Pablo, it was simply disorganized, messy, and at times, straight up bad. While interesting in theory, updating the album like a video game with various patches over the next few months ended up making it worse and worse.
When artists like Frank Ocean, Angel Olsen, and Car Seat Headrest were releasing their own ambitious projects that actually felt like they were fully conceived, I didn’t really need Kanye West anymore. My decision feels more and more justified by the day.
Chapter 1: 2018, Twin Fantasy, and Bad Times at Delmar Hall
Considering we won’t get to have traditional live shows again for another year or so, it feels weird to complain about past concerts. Hell, it feels weird to complain about concerts that were overall good, but left a bad taste in your mouth by the end or just wasn’t up to snuff. While many praised the Twin Fantasy tour and the monstrous 7-man lineup Toledo put together including the members of Naked Giants, it just didn’t really land for me when I saw them in St. Louis on September 27, 2018. It doesn’t help that I wasn’t the only one as the crowd felt deflated for about half the setlist which was filled with unique re-arrangements of classic CSH tunes & obscure covers.
It seems Will Toledo could figure this out to, as towards the end of their cover of Dexy’s Midnight Runners’ “Tell Me When My Light Turns Green”, he threw down his mic and bum-rushed off the stage to the exit, causing his band to quickly wrap up the song and make their way off the stage, never to return despite calls for an encore. I chalked this up at the time to general tour fatigue as the show at Delmar Hall was their second-to-last for that leg of the tour, and as I wrote this on my blog at the time about the show:
While my first reaction to Toledo and the band skipping the encore was anger, it quickly turned into a feeling of understanding, as from many different interviews with many different bands, it was clear that Toledo was simply burnt out. When you’re on the road for up to two months at a time, away from home, friends, and family, and playing shows almost every night, burnout just becomes an inevitable, especially when you’re just a few days away from the tour being over. Toledo has suffered from tour burnout before, as in a recent interview with Rolling Stone, he cited a 2016 European tour as the low point of his past two years, saying “being on that bus with no sleep and just the same task day after day and feeling like we’re getting nowhere,” with the band’s drummer Andrew Katz confirming that sentiment in an interview I did with him on the Indieheads Podcast.
Now while I love going to shows, I have to realize I’m unknowingly supporting a cycle of emotional hardship that hundreds and hundreds of bands have to go through on a regular basis just to have a career in music. With the industry moving towards streaming being the hottest new consumption method, it leaves a lot of artists in the dust as streaming royalties across the board are ridiculously low, forcing them to travel across the world for months at a time just to make ends meet.
So, I’m not saying don’t go to shows or don’t support artists, as if you really do love them and want them to keep making music, this is the best way to do it as of now. However, to quote a line from “Drunk Drivers / Killer Whales” off of Teens of Denial: “It doesn’t have to be like this.” With the Music Modernization Act recently making its way through Congress, hopefully things will change for the better in the next couple of years, but the music industry seemingly always finds a way to screw over bands/artists no matter the size. So, if you happen to be reading this Will Toledo, I think you’re listening to too much classic rock and probably need to calm down a bit. But really though, I’m just hoping you’re doing well and enjoying your time off the road. I know it can be a rough life being a touring musician and I hope you’re fully recharged the next time you head out on the road.
Okay I’m gonna get really, really bummed if I keep thinking about the havoc COVID-19 and the U.S. government’s lack of response has wreaked upon the live music industry, so let’s just wrap this all up real quick. I was bummed about this show and it gave me great skepticism about what was next for Car Seat Headrest if this was the direction he wanted to take the band. Much like I doubted if I needed Kanye West at the end of 2016, by the beginning of 2020, I wasn’t really sure if I needed Will Toledo anymore either.
Chapter 2: WinteSpring 2020, The Singles, and Early COVID-19 Times
When Making A Door Less Open was announced towards the end of the winter in 2020, I was both excited and worried. Considering that the band had only officially released one bit of original material written by Toledo in-between Teens of Denial and now, I was excited to see what he had spent the last few years cooking up. But upon hearing the lead single, “Can’t Cool Me Down”, that bit of skepticism crept back up once again. I knew I liked the song, but there was just something… off here that I couldn’t quite place.
But soon the song and the album announcement went into the memory hole, as only a month after its release: everything went to shit. Even though singles kept on rolling out for the album throughout the rest of early spring, I couldn’t be bothered to care all that much. “Martin” came out when I was planning the Indieheads Festival so it didn’t leave much of a mark on me, and like many when “Hollywood” came out, I was appalled. So with two okay singles and one disastrous one, expectations for this new album were low. It turns out that was probably a good thing for me.
Chapter 3: Late Spring 2020, The Rollout, and What Happens When You Start Hanging Out with That Andrew Katz Boy.
So while the singles helped set some low expectations for the album, that wasn’t the full story. Compared to the other big indie record labels that are willing to experiment now and again with album rollouts and how things are timed out, Matador plays things pretty nice and traditional. Their albums are usually announced about 3-4 months in advance and 3-4 singles are spread out in that time. For most artists, this works out fine. For Making A Door Less Open? Eh!
One of the biggest head scratchers about the album’s rollout was that there were going to be three versions of the album, with the vinyl, CD, and digital versions of this album all being different. Similar to The Life of Pablo, Toledo was working right up to the deadline to finish the album and it seems some sort of compromise was made so that Toledo could finish the album past the deadline & make sure physical copies were pressed on time. I honestly chalk up this album’s mixed response from critics to be because of this mishap, as it seems like most of them received an advance of the CD or LP version, which have the following tracklists:
LP Version
  1. Weightlifters
  2. Can't Cool Me Down
  3. Hollywood
  4. There Must Be More Than Blood
  5. Hymn
  6. Deadlines
  7. Martin
  8. What's With You Lately
  9. Life Worth Missing
  10. Famous
CD Version
  1. Weightlifters
  2. Can't Cool Me Down
  3. Hollywood
  4. Martin
  5. Hymn (Remix)
  6. There Must Be More Than Blood
  7. Deadlines
  8. What's With You Lately
  9. Life Worth Missing
  10. Famous
If you love the album like me, you’ll notice a number of cringe-worthy sequencing choices here throughout both versions, like “Hollywood” being pushed up just a bit too soon, “There Must Be More Than Blood” being either the centerpiece or way too early in the album, and “Deadlines” in its original version being so far back (and also it being the original version of “Deadlines”). Similar to LCD Soundsystem’s american dream, a lot of the songs on this version of MADLO are good, but when they’re placed where they are within the album, they lose a lot of their possible impact.
I stress all of this because the thing with MADLO is that this album should have been a disaster. And this isn’t even mentioning the mask stuff which I’m not gonna say much in the review besides saying if COVID didn’t happen, it probably would be pretty cool and work really well seeing them live. What’s most important about the mask is that it allowed Toledo to escape from himself a bit after years in the spotlight, being able to write songs from a slightly different perspective.
While on tour, drummer Andrew Katz conceived the 1 Trait Danger project as a way to cure boredom and make himself and his bandmates laugh, with Toledo quickly latching onto the project as he played a much larger role on the project’s second album, 1 Trait World Tour. This role constituted creating an alternative persona for himself called “Trait”, who wears an orange hazmat suit and appears to be some kind of small bunny? Or a small dog man? Or… um? Look, it doesn’t matter what animal Trait is as the most important element here is that when Toledo and his band hit the studio to record MADLO, 1 Trait Danger’s EDM sound inspired Toledo to look past the medium sized concert halls his band was playing and onto huge crowds at the music festivals he and Katz had made fun of on World Tour.
Speaking with the New York Times earlier this year, Matador Records founder Chris Lombardi said the following about Toledo:
“Before this album was recorded, he told me he wanted to make an album that had the sonic capability of competing with some of the other new pop or hip-hop acts at the Coachellas of the world, or the Lollapaloozas of the world,” Lombardi said, so “when he was going onstage, he wasn’t being overshadowed by whoever else was playing a more futuristic type of music with a more electronic type of palette — that he would be able to compete against them and win.”
Of course, this mindset seems extremely passé now considering that there are no pop or hip-hop acts to compete with at these festivals because these festivals aren’t going to exist again for quite some time. Whatever the case though, Toledo saw something in Katz’s sound that he wanted to bring over to Car Seat Headrest. When recalling this conservation in that same Times piece, Katz said “I’m thinking to myself, ‘The label’s going to freak out. Andrew Katz is about to ruin Car Seat Headrest.’”
So, did he?
Chapter 4: Summer 2020, Making A Door Less Open, and the Eternal Question of “Why Doesn’t Everyone Have Brain Worms Like Me?”
Considering the title of this series, it’s safe to say that Katz did not ruin Car Seat Headrest. For me at least anyways. The jury’s still out overall, as you’ll probably find out reading the comments of this post. But what I learned upon my first listen or two to MADLO is that I should never doubt my loyalty to Will Toledo. I should never doubt the way this man and his music have made me feel. I shall never express doubt towards him again because he knows how to wire into my brain and express feelings I don’t know how to articulate myself.
A lot of people focus on the new bells and whistles Toledo and Katz have added onto the MADLO project, and while they’re important, Toledo has not lost his abilities as a writer here, even if he’s a little less wordy than he usually is. Maybe it’s because of his age, maybe it’s to inhabit that festival music mindset, maybe it’s something else I haven’t quite latched onto, but even with fewer turns of phrase, there’s something about Toledo’s words that grab onto me.
Take “Deadlines (Hostile)”, which hooked me pretty quickly due to its resemblance to something off of Teens of Denial. For an artist who is pretty self-aware about their awkwardness, this first version of “Deadlines” we hear on the album is the most swaggering and confident we’ve heard Toledo, as it turns out inhabiting Trait kind of makes Toledo sound cool? Or at the very least, he’s pretty damn good at making himself sound cool as his tale of forbidden attraction just fucking hits. As someone who spent much of their late teens & early 20s slowly building up their self-confidence via empty hookups and short-lived long-distance relationships, “Deadlines (Hostile)” encapsulates these conflicted feelings so perfectly as Toledo repeats “Am I, am I, am I, am I on your mind? / Is it, is it, is it, is it what you like?” early on in the hook.
The perspective seems to shift to the other party though on its counterpart, “Deadlines (Thoughtful)”, which sounds much more in-line with the rest of the album, sounding like an early Crystal Castles (FUCK ETHAN KATH AKA CLAUDIO PALMIERI, ALL LOVE TO ALICE GLASS) cut with its blistering synths and hard-hitting sequenced percussion. The song centers on the lines “Oh compassion, it’s transforming me into-”, with Toledo unable to finish that thought as he explained to Apple Music:
The line ‘Oh, compassion is transforming me into’—it’s an unfinished thought because I think that the ellipsis is the end of the thought. In a way, it kind of ties back to ‘Martin’ and ‘Just when I think I’m gone, you change the track I’m on.’ You have a slightly different idea here of compassion taking you off that track, whatever track you go down where you just kind of get narrower and hollower as you get older and it just turns you into something vaguer, you know? And I think that it seems like when people get older, they either get sort of ground down to the basics of their personality and they can’t change out of that or they kind of just drift and they get weirder and they just don’t define themselves and that allows them some sort of freedom. That line is sort of pointing at keeping compassion alive as a way of allowing yourself to drift and become something different, someone different or possibly nothing at all, but just resisting definition for one more night.
These fears of getting older and what that does to your personality and sense of self are seen all throughout the album, but its most notable in the album’s opening and closing chapters, “Weightlifters” and “Famous”, with the former hitting especially different in quarantine times, as the song touches on hints of body dysmorphia and the buried feelings that cause it. I was already struggling with my weight & body image issues prior to COVID but things have been especially worse now, as it’s simply just hard to find the inspiration to want to get into shape when you’ve got 50 other mental blocks you gotta get through to get there. It’s not the best feeling getting out of the shower and looking in the mirror and just feeling disgusted and awful looking anywhere below my chin. As Will Toledo quietly ponders on the hook “‘Cause I believe / Thoughts can change your body / It’s all on me”, it feels like he’s hooking directly into my brain when I take these looks at myself.
These thoughts on thoughts come back full circle on “Famous” as Toledo repeats “Change your mind” over and over before he asks “Did you change your mind?”, getting ready to ask that question once more before cutting himself off, much like he cut himself off in “Deadlines (Thoughtful)”, leaving things unanswered once again, as one does sometimes when dealing with this. From my own experience, sometimes my brain just shuts down when I think too long about my body, eventually finding its way to fixate on something else for a bit. One thing about my issues with my body is that I don’t talk about it enough, as I haven’t been able to prioritize therapy since the initial lockdowns but even then, I just hate bringing it up to any of my friends, so when Toledo sings “Someone will care about this / Please let somebody care about this”, it just… hurts. In the right way.
These feelings of just wanting someone to care about me go far beyond my body dysmorphia and fully extend to my mental health at large, as one of the worst things about depression is that it’s extremely good at isolating you from everyone in your life with the feeling of “nobody cares about you.” I had a very good friend in my life recently fall victim to this and it’s been devastating to see. They were someone who I always considered to be such a beacon of hope and optimism and to see these feelings ravage them and our relationship hurts more and more every day and I feel powerless to stop it. While “I should start lifting weights” is meant literally in “Weightlifters”, I can’t help but feel like it's talking about the weights of depression and how hard they can be to lift also.
Anyways, let’s talk about the global elite pedophile cabal and MADLO’s most polarizing song, “Hollywood.” Possibly the most abrasive CSH song since their early Bandcamp days, it’s also one of their poppiest, with the song peaking at #29 on Billboard’s Alternative Airplay chart, where it charted overall for 14 weeks. Even before I hosted a podcast series talking about butt rock, I already swung around pretty quickly to liking this song as first and foremost, the main riff is sick. It’s big, it’s fat, it’s meaty, it’s rock and roll baby. Toledo mostly takes a backseat on this song as a vocalist, letting Katz try out his best Fred Durst impression as he destroys his throat screaming about how disgusting LA/Hollywood is. It’s essentially a Conner O’Malley video but as a song, and for that I have to stan. I wonder if Andrew and Will listen to TrueAnon?
But since we’re on the topic of Andrew Katz, let’s talk about his overall influence on the album, as while I don’t think he’s affected Toledo’s songwriting all that much (the poppier leanings of this album do seem to fall solely on Toledo), he has affected the sonic textures this album explores, with his experience in EDM mixing getting shown off in a variety of ways. Sometimes it's subtle and tasteful like on “Martin”, with the frantic percussion perfectly tying into Toledo’s lyrics of past figures of people in his life and the feelings and reminders of said feelings that pop up every now and then. Other times it’s more pronounced like on the previously mentioned “Famous” or “Hymn - Remix”, as in its original version, “Hymn” is like a combination of something off of Tim Hecker’s Love Streams and Radiohead’s “Morning Bell/Amnesiac”, with the remix turning that into something that can best be described as Car Seat Headrest meets The King of Limbs.
Radiohead ends up being a not so surprising touchstone regarding this album as much like Car Seat Headrest, Radiohead turned to electronic music after a period of tour burnout following two critically adored and highly regarded albums. Though, it might be more apt to compare this record to a different 90s alt rock band, The Smashing Pumpkins. While Adore is technically the Pumpkins’ electronica record, a lot of the electronic touches on that album are more textural, much like MADLO. Adore was Corgan trying to re-ground his band, as you simply can’t keep making albums like Siamese Dream and Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness over and over again, just like we can’t expect Toledo to keep making more albums like Teens of Denial and Twin Fantasy. As an artist, it’s sometimes hard finding a middle ground between pleasing your fans and chasing your creative dragon, but more often than not, I’m gonna respect an artist who continually chases that dragon, even if the results might vary.
Before the album came out, it already felt like Toledo was on the defense regarding his creative choices on the album and its promotion, as he literally gave a PowerPoint to Matador Records going over everything about the album from its cover, the Trait character, what the title meant, etc. Even on their comedown record, Toledo and the band still have plenty of chips on the table, and that’s the dissonance that I love the most about MADLO, as the high melodrama and extended lengths of Teens of Denial and Twin Fantasy don’t quite appeal to me like it used to. They’re both great records that I love dearly, but at this point in my life, I’m much more aligned these days with the person I’m hearing on MADLO.
Chapter 5: Fall 2020, The MADLO Manifesto, and Ah Goddammit How Do I End This Ahh!!!!
The song I loved the most on the 2018 version of Twin Fantasy was “High to Death.” It’s probably the most drastically changed song from the original version of the album and in my books, the most vastly improved. One important change the song had was the addition of a voicemail from artist Hojin Stella Jung (who did the single artwork for “Beach Life-in-Death” and “Nervous Young Inhumans”) to the Nevada Museum of Art:
Hello, my name is Hojin Stella Jung, I'm a senior at McQueen High School, my portfolio is a collection of paintings - that was created during last summer, and the first half of my senior year, and it's called "The Lady", and I didn't feel very well when I painted the first, and I didn't feel very well when I painted the last. It was intense, it was an intense process, and it was how I was trying to - very hard, personify that intensity, but it's hard to talk about her now, because I think she wasn't me, at least that's how I feel and I'm trying to figure out what to do now.
But she represents fervor in woman, she is powerful, yet fragile, she dares but also averts her gaze, and I love her, at least - I did, and - but now I feel lost, and I'm unsure of what to think and feel most of the time. But I did believe in her, "The Lady", and maybe, there is a different form now that the intensity takes.”
The intensity of my early college years that I felt is all there in Teens of Denial and Twin Fantasy. I was truly passionate about what I was doing or trying to do in college radio and it was a frustrating experience. I wasn’t seeking therapy at that time so instead of working out my emotions in a healthy way, I was probably taking things out on people and things that didn’t deserve it. But now with four years removed from that time, I’ve gone to counselling and met the love of my life, and I’ve learned to work that intensity into healthier things and spreading it out in ways where I not only don’t hurt the people around me, but not immolating myself in the process.
While at the time it was clear to tie “The Lady” as a parallel to Twin Fantasy, I see “The Lady” more now as a parallel to Car Seat Headrest as a whole. When talking about writing those previous records, Toledo doesn’t look back fondly as Teens of Denial particularly was written during a “very depressed and angry phase of my life” according to his interview with Huck. He described a similar scenario when talking about writing Making A Door Less Open, saying “I don’t think I was quite so angry or depressed, but it just felt like a hollow useless time. I was doing a lot of stuff that I felt wasn’t going anywhere.”
And right now, that’s where I’m at. While 2020 was an extremely busy year for me where I was doing a lot, I still feel like I haven’t gone anywhere, as I’m still stuck in the same bedroom in the same financial situation I’ve been stuck in for years where I’m doing so much but yet it feels like so little. One of the most honest things about MADLO is that there’s no true resolution. Will Toledo ends the album where he started, hoping his thoughts could change his situation and desperately begging for such. Even throughout the album’s various versions, this doesn’t change. The route to get there might be different, but point A and B stay the same, because it’s a loop.
I hope to break it one day and someone cares as I try.
Favorite Lyrics
'Cause I believe
That thoughts can change your body
It's all on me
If thoughts can change your body
I believe
That thoughts can change my body
It dawned on me
Your body can change your mind
  • “Weightlifters”
I was thinking people never change
But there's a new taste of dread that I cannot explain
And the thoughts that make up my life
Get reflected in others from time to time
  • “Deadlines (Hostile)”
Don't go back to Oklahoma
What's in Oklahoma?
  • “Hollywood”
I'm tired of coming home sick
Someone will care about this
Please let somebody care about this
  • “Famous”
Talking Points
  • Prior to the album’s singles, what were your expectations for the next Car Seat Headrest album?
  • And alternatively, what were your expectations looking like going in after the release of all its singles?
  • Do you think the influence of Katz was a negative or positive thing for the album as a whole?
  • What are your thoughts on the songwriting shifts Toledo makes on this record? Do you think this record would have succeeded in creating a base for the band to compete with festival acts?
  • If you haven’t returned to the album since its release, what are your thoughts on it now that we’re pretty well separated from its release and hype cycle?
  • And finally, where does Making A Door Less Open rank on your AOTY lists?
It’s u/ReconEG writing this outro part so I’ll just pull my head out from behind the curtain to thank you for reading this massive, massive piece and I hope you enjoyed it! Tomorrow, my pal from the Indieheads Podcast, u/radmure, will take on The Microphones’ mystical and reflective “comeback” album, Microphones in 2020. In the meantime, discuss today’s album and write-up in the comments below, and check below for the schedule and previous write-ups from this year's series.
Completed
Date Artist Album Writer
12/1 Fiona Apple Fetch the Bolt Cutters u/roseisonlineagain
12/2 Car Seat Headrest Making a Door Less Open u/ReconEG
Schedule
Date Artist Album Writer
12/3 The Microphones Microphones in 2020 u/radmure
12/4 Owen Pallett Island u/BornAgainZombie
12/5 Perfume Genius Set My Heart on Fire Immediately u/Pianist-Euphoric
12/6 Phoebe Bridgers Punisher u/American_Soviet
12/7 Hot Mulligan You'll Be Fine u/darianb1031
12/8 Bill Callahan Gold Record u/stansymash
12/9 Jónsi Shiver u/thesaboteur7
12/10 Dogleg Melee u/stringfellow2316
12/11 Elysia Crampton ORCORARA 2010 u/vulni0000000
12/12 Adrianne Lenker Songs u/danpono
12/13 Trevor Powers Capricorn u/The_Lords_Favourite
12/14 Fleet Foxes Shore u/smasherx
12/15 Illuminati Hotties FREE IH: This is Not the One You've Been Waiting For u/ClocktowerMaria
12/16 My Morning Jacket The Waterfall II u/ProbablyUmmSure
12/17 Rina Sawayama SAWAYAMA u/PlagueLords
12/18 Geographic North A Little Night Music: Aural Apparitions from the Geographic North u/WaneLietoc
12/19 Destroyer Have We Met u/LordAlpaca
12/20 Christian Lee Hutson Beginners u/waffel113
12/21 Tim Heidecker Fear of Death u/sara520
12/22 Jessie Ware What's Your Pleasure u/tartorange
12/23 Tennis Swimmer u/danitykane
12/24 The Soft Pink Truth Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? u/feetarejustshithands
12/25 Neil Cicierega Mouth Dreams u/mr_grission
12/26 Oneohtrix Point Never Magic Oneohtrix Point Never u/modulum83
12/27 Cindy Lee What's Tonight to Eternity u/PearlSquared
12/28 Backxwash God Has Nothing To Do With This, Leave Him Out of It u/meme__creep
12/29 Dirty Projectors 5EPs u/PieBlaCon
12/30 The Strokes The New Abnormal u/remote_man
12/31 Roisin Murphy Roisin Machine u/LazyDayLullaby
NOTE: In case you haven't followed the process for putting together the series this year, here is a quick recap. The lineup was culled from over a hundred pitches sent into us in two threads, one in mid-October and one in early November. If you are wondering why a certain album didn't make it to the lineup, there was either not a pitch for it, or there were other pitches we liked more. As with almost every year we've done this series, the schedule above is subject to change, but there will only be minor changes at that (moving of dates or maybe an album or two being replaced at most).
submitted by IndieheadsAOTY to indieheads [link] [comments]


2020.12.02 02:16 Mochacchi Event Megathread - Realize the Wish (December 2020)

This is the event megathread for the Reiji Collection Event “Realize the Wish”

The event starts on December 2nd, 14:00 JST and ends on December 9th, 13:59 JST.
Notes
  • The start and end times are the same for both the JP and EN versions of this event
  • All event discussion and questions should be kept to this thread.
  • Questions outside of the constraints of the event can be directed to the current Q&A Megathread.
  • Event content posted outside of this thread will be removed, excluding major issues/bugs.

Cast and Opening Quotes

”I won't falter anymore. I want to bid farewell to my past and walk the path of no regrets, to be my own hero.”

”Have you ever seen a real hero? Their lives are the peak of entertainment. Haha, the more dramatic, the better.”

Idol Cast
Reiji Kotobuki
Ren Jinguji
Tokiya Ichinose
Syo Kurusu
Cecil Aijima
Ranmaru Kurosaki

Event Song

Song Name Attribute Notes (Hard) Notes (Pro) Idols Singing
Itoshiki Hito e (Alt.) Star 353 613 Reiji

Crowd-Pleaser Songs

Available In Song Name Attribute Notes (Hard) Notes (Pro) Idols Singing
First Half Fiction Dream 443 786 Reiji, Ai
First Half FORCE LIVE Star 400 517 QUARTET NIGHT
First Half Sekai no Hate Made Believe Heart Shine 357 498 Ren
Second Half BLACK DEJAVU Dream 544 821 Otoya, Tokiya, Ren, Reiji, Ranmaru
Second Half Kiss wa Wink de Star 401 619 Reiji
Second Half Dear… Burning my Lady! Shine 272 437 Ren

How To Play

  • All songs played in the Live Show tab (both Normal and Campaign) count towards the event. Clearing songs will earn you Event Points and Collection Points.
  • The higher the difficulty of song, the more Event Points and Collection Points you will get. LP multipliers and Auto Play will earn both types of points.
  • Collection Points can be traded in for rewards in the Exchange. Certain rewards can only be exchanged once you’ve reached a certain number of Event Points.
  • You can exchange Collection Points for rewards for two days after the event has ended. Collection Points that are not exchanged after this will be automatically deleted.
  • Collection Points do not carry over to the next event.
  • Event Points determine your ranking (and ranking rewards).
  • This event is influenced by DANCE stats. Your photos' DANCE stats will be multiplied by two, giving you a better chance of getting a higher score. Take advantage of those high stats!
  • You can get Song Passes in the Exchange which will allow you to play the event song (which costs LP), which will earn more Event Points than other songs. One Pass = one play (can use the LP multiplier and Auto Play functions).

Photo Rewards

UR Haze of Justice (Reiji)
Attribute: Dream Leader Skill: Dream's VOCAL performance will increase by 60% Skill: Cut-in Bonus Score +120% Stats: Total = 5030
Dance Vocal Act/Charm
1840 1940 1250
SR Haze of Justice (Ren)
Attribute: Dream Leader Skill: Dream's VOCAL performance will increase by 50%. Skill: Cut-in Bonus Score + 120% Stats: Total = 3580
Dance Vocal Act/Charm
890 1380 1310

Exchange Rewards

Reward Purchase Limit (First Instance) Cost, First Instance (Collection Points) Unlocks At, First Instance (Event Points)
UR Reiji 1 35,000 200,000
SR Ren 2 12,000 75,000
Prisms (x10) 3 550 3,500
LP (x30) 5 400 750
White Gems (mics) 2 2,000 25,000
Sub Skill orbs 5 350 15,000
Photo Shoot Points (x100) 5 550 12,000
Memorial Bangles (x100) 3 650 9,000
…And more!

Check out the latest tier cutoffs and predictions here!

Here are some healthy tips for heavy-playing this event!

  • Remember to stretch your hands and fingers using this video as a guide, and take short, 5-minute breaks for every hour of play to loosen your hand muscles
  • Be mindful of your posture whether you’re sitting or laying down while playing! Support your lower back with pillows if needed and try not to slouch forward
  • Avoid eye strain by looking away from your screen every half an hour; try to look at something in the distance to combat how close you’re looking at a screen
  • Stay hydrated! Take a sip of water for every few songs you complete

Helpful Links and Resources

submitted by Mochacchi to ShiningLive [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 15:37 Bi-disaster94 A couple of headcanons since I'm too worn out to finish my drawing

🎼 One of MC's favorite flowers is the oleander due to the lore behind it. That and it's an extremely toxic plant.
🎼 His favorite song to cover is Gang of Youth's Achilles Come Down and often sings it to Luminous and Chisei.
🎼 His EX Skill, Phoenix Heart, allows him to manipulate the element of fire, superhuman regeneration, and flight via flame wings.
🎼 Is a sweetheart but can AND will kill you, verbally or physically.
🎼 Anton is too scared to bully MC due to him beating the ever-loving shit of the blonde for hurting Renata and Marisol.
🎼 Nimble and graceful, MC is talented in all types of dancing. Ballet and waltz are his forte.
🎼 Has a massive sweet tooth and often can be found in the college kitchen baking up a storm. Finger is more than happy to accept any extra pastries he made.
🎼 Probably owns a moderately successful YouTube channel focusing on music, cooking, and animation memes.
🎼 Sometimes invites the Cassell gang + Gen siblings in his videos whether it's for a jamming session, trying out recipes, or even doing art challenges.
🎼 Can be a bit of a troll if he feels likes it, often joins in his sister's pranks as long as it's harmless.
🎼 When he used to be a kid, MC loved playing pretend with his childhood friend, Durante.
🎼 Unapologetically a monster fucker, is into gentle giant types that can crush people into a pulp.
🎼 Self conscious about his height and usually wears platform shoes to compensate it. Marisol loves teasing him about it.
🎼 Had bizarre cravings during MC's pregnancy like peanut butter dipped chorizo and strawberry pie drizzled with BBQ sauce. Durante cringed everytime he remembers those odd combination.
submitted by Bi-disaster94 to DragonRajaMobile [link] [comments]


2020.11.25 03:44 patg84 Ocular Migraine? Post Concussion Symptoms?

36M, 5'8, 185lbs. Caucasian. USA. No alcohol, former smoker for approx 12 years but completely quit 5-6 years ago. Normal BP ranges from 125-130/85-90. No issues prior to this incident.
Current Meds:
Hydrochlorothiazide (6.25mg nightly) for BP control. No urination issues at night after first 10 days of using.
Rosuvastatin Calcium (2.5mg nightly) for cholesterol.
B12 pill (2500mcg daily) body doesn't hold B12 well. Last blood work (Nov 5th) the number was 620ish.
Allergies: Caffeine, Excedrin, simvastatin (muscles feel like they're burning in the lowest doses, bloodwork does not show muscle breakdown, GP thinks more so the nerve endings are being inflamed)
Preface Notes:
I have been to my GP whom cannot make the call if this is inner ear related or not and however finds nothing wrong with me in a normal sense. This doctor is the most thorough doc I have ever met. I have been to my cardiologist and he shows nothing is wrong with my heart. I have been to an ENT but when I said I hit my head he literally said what do you think I can do for you and dismissed me. Kinda pissed at that answer. And finally my neurologist who won't say that I had a concussion but referred me to physical therapy for balance issues and to the otoneurologist (read below).
Also I have never experienced migraines, vision problems, etc. Everything you read, symptoms etc. happened after I hit my head. I felt 110% before this.
The following test have been carried out and findings all negative: CT of head, MRI with focus on IAC with/without contrast, chest xray (was complaining in ER that chest hurt), ultrasound of right leg (complaining of pain in ER), EEG with the flashing lights, carotid ultrasound, several EKG's (in the offices and with my Kardia...results sent to cardiologist), 5 hour blood glucose test, cortisol test, stress test on treadmill, ultrasound of heart, not sure what it's called but the goggles for vertigo.
Start of Issue:
I hit my head on a wooden beam approximately 15 months ago in the front of my head (not forehead, actual head) while crouching and walking forward. Upon turning around and walking back to where I came from, I hit it again. I had some soreness and a pain in my jaw for 30 minutes or so after. This pain disappeared after 30 minutes and I went on with my day.
A few days later I went to my dentist to have a filling done on the top left side. A single novocaine shot was used. No issues with the shot. They had my lying back in the chair with my head tilted backwards for some time, the drilling felt strange, no pain but a vibration I had only felt when warming up to sing. It felt like it was vibrating my palette and my nose cavity. While I was pulling out of the parking lot I turned my head left, right, left, to look and see if any cars were coming before I pulled out. The quick back and forth motion made it feel like I was out of my body for a second. I was like oh that felt weird. Like a drunk feeling. I drove home and felt tired so I took a nap. I had slept ample hours the night before. A few hours later I was working cutting pizzas. I had cut quite a number of pies before the following happened...I cut a pie from right to left with the cutter and my body moved with the cut, I felt the same shuffled drunk feeling I felt earlier when pulling out of the parking lot. I went home shortly thereafter and felt fine the next day.
The same chain of events, dentist (top filling but other side of mouth), sleep, home, work, happened a week later only this time I wound up in the ER. Upon driving for work I had made several deliveries, on about the 5th one I pulled up to the house and I started to feel my heart accelerate like someone was pouring adrenaline into my system. I could not get it to calm down, breathing slow, etc....nothing worked. Initially I thought this was a heart attack (thanks Dr. Google) because I had a pain in my chest near where my heart sits but then after about 20 minutes it seemed to subside and the heart rate dropped significantly however I felt like I was drunk. A few more minutes went by and I decided to drive myself back to work, check out, and go home. I made it 5 minutes into the drive, before having to pull off the road because I started to get tunnel vision while turning around a bend. This tunnel vision was white not black and I could see black, red, and yellow speckles in my vision. At the same time my heart started racing again with the same pouring of adrenaline feeling. This time I called 911 and they brought me to the ER. EMS took my vitals and my BP had shot up to 160/110 which is nowhere near normal for me. They gave me a tab of amlodipine and that dropped my BP. I was discharged 5 hours later.
The next few days I felt like I was in a fog and then I noticed the lights in the room were extra bright, sounds were extremely amplified, I was super dizzy, unable to keep my balance, and I felt an instant uneasy feeling every time a loud noise happened, pot dropped, etc. I felt nausea like someone was flipping on a switch. It came and went but was mostly there 90% of the time. Nothing I ate would get rid of the feeling. I can say this, the room was never spinning around on me but I would occasionally feel the floor move....even though I knew it wasn't physically moving. Also when playing video games and watching TV, violence seemed very disturbing, I felt literally shivers down my body when a gorey scene on TV would come on. I used to be able to watch surgeries all day without issues.
This lasted pretty much 8 months before subsiding. It took time to get a physical therapist who was specialized in head trauma but I did 6 weeks of balance therapy. COVID cut it short by a week or so.
Now fast forward to about a month ago, I was feeling much better but still had a lingering feeling if I turned around to quickly or was watching something fast paced on the computer; particularly something spinning on the screen. My head literally starts to hurt trying to track the movement. I misstepped and felt and hit me head on a car door. This was my left side of my head and it was sore to the touch for a good two weeks. After that the bright lights and amplified sounds started to come back. A week or two went by and I felt much better so I decided I was going to try driving. As soon as I started driving I felt a bit off, the roads became hillier and I started to feel out of balance. It's at this point I took a meclizine......ah finally relief, I felt like my old self again, no dizziness. Well after about an hour of driving I was coming up on a tunnel. I distinctly remember the previous year I flew through this tunnel with no problem. Upon approaching it I looked up at the mountain and had a weird uneasy feeling come over me and it felt like dizziness when my head tilted up to look at the mountain and back down to the road. The moment I got into the tunnel the lights were like a solid line, I tried to focus on the end point of the tunnel as you would when normally driving but I couldn't. I instantly got tunnel vision, black this time, I saw the read, black, and yellow spots again and they were clouding my vision so I had trouble distinguishing which lane I was in. Adrenaline poured into my system soo fast that I barely had time to react, it felt like I was along for the ride. It felt like it just was getting dumped in like by the truckload and it would peak and fall and peak and fall all within seconds of each other. My heart felt like it was going to bounce out of my chest. I immediately grabbed the person's hand who was sitting next to me and for a brief second I had this feeling like I needed to cry but I kept trying to breathe in and out slowly to get my heart to slow down. Nothing I did for the 40 seconds or so I was in the tunnel helped. It's only once I got out of the tunnel did my vision return to normal, the adrenaline stopped being dumped into my bloodstream, and my heart slowed down. I felt like I needed a nap. I was drained beyond belief. However I continued on for the remainder of my trip (20 minutes). The twists, turns, and drops (mountain roads) made me ill feeling. I slept for 10 hours after that ordeal without medication.
I do notice that I'm having trouble recalling short term memories that have just been formed, recalling phone numbers that I just read etc. I'm also having trouble finding the right words to say in a sentence. Example the other day I was staring at a spatula but had my hands full and I asked someone to pass it to me but I didn't remember what the word for "spatula" was. I have worked in professional kitchens all my life and know how to use one. I have to concentrate really hard to recall those words.
I also feel agitated and irritable when listening/speaking to people whereas prior to this incident I had all the patience in the world.
There are 3 occurrences in which I was using my phone scrolling through the web/instagram where my blood pressure shot up on it's own to 140/104 (example BP's for each time), I felt that same feeling as when I entered that tunnel, and it took several hours before I felt normal again. But again I could not stop it with breathing exercises. The last time this happened I had a super high pitched constant tone in my left ear only for 4-5 days before it subsided.
I couldn't see any doctors while COVID was in full swing but I did see my neurologist last week and I got the feeling like he think's I'm bullshitting him with my symptoms still. After I pressed on, he referred me to an otoneurologist whom I saw today. He put the goggles on and said no BPPV was evident. He thinks it's an ocular migraine. I didn't mean to sound like I was questioning his experience but I was like wait no I've never had them before. He has prescribed amitriptyline in the smallest dose, (1) 10mg tab once a day at night for 3 weeks, if the odd feeling and sudden dizziness doesn't go away increase to (2) 10mg tabs once a day for 3 weeks, and if that doesn't work increase to (3) 10mg tabs for 3 weeks.
I am waiting to hear back from my cardiologist for his opinion on this drug as it has been discontinued by the FDA in 2000 due to an increase in heart related problems, arrhythmias, etc. I don't know if that was related to the drugs main use case, depression, eg. 50-100mg daily or something else. But it also shows a moderate interaction with hydrochlorothiazide.
EDIT: I spoke with my cardiologist and he states it's a commonly used drug and he see's no complications with my current medications. He say's cardiac wise there are heart issues with people who take large doses of amitriptyline and for those who mix it with other drugs. He did say it takes forever to build up in the system, 4-6 weeks, so whether or not it will work for me as the otoneurologist intends is a different story.
Granted I am on the lowest doses possible, I am super sensitive to medications in general so anything that swings BP quickly I'm bound to have some sort of reaction that may trigger an unwanted effect.


Any input would be really appreciated as this has been one hell of a ride and I just want to get off. I opened an IT business right before this happened and all I want to do is go back to normal and do the things I love. Living with balance issues and not knowing what's going to happen from one day to the next, what will trigger this or that is super frustrating.
I'm a very analytical and logical type of person so lay on the science and I'll do my best to understand it. I am curious as to how the amitriptyline will work to resolve this. I know meclizine isn't the best drug to take daily since there are no long term use trials that I can find. It does work wonders and a positive side effect of meclizine is lower blood pressure. This would kill two birds with one stone but I'm more interested in finding out why I'm having these random BP spikes, racing heart, adrenaline rushes, while looking at something spinning, visually stimulating, etc in the first place rather than throwing drugs at the symptoms.
Sincerely thank you in advance, I hope this was detailed enough for you guys/gals.
submitted by patg84 to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 21:27 fractalfay This is all you could find? Recap of 90 Day Fiance The Other Way, S02E21

Welcome to another stunning recap of Teayang and Drascilla, where a herd of baffling adults operate like accidents, while their wonder-children marvel at the world despite them.
When we last saw Jenny, she was hanging out with people 35 years her junior, and she wasn’t getting any of their pop culture references. Sis-in-law Sheree has been hitting that smug tank like it’s nitrous at an EDM festival, and Jenny’s tears only added spice to her high. Sheree insists Sumit needs to tell his parents he’s about to get married for a second time, or they’re going to rat him out. Amit agrees with this, which is his second violation of the Sibling Code of Ethics, which clearly states that substance abuse and actions that could result in prison time are the only acceptable reasons for being Cindy Brady. Sumit doesn’t point out that he has no intention of getting married, and probably still doesn’t even have the ring, because what, was that theater degree for nothing?
Amit finds all of this very unfair. He just contributed to Sumit’s divorce GoFundMe, and now he’s going to have to start saving for a second one?
“Yeah,” Jen interrupts, despite never being invited to this recap. “Like, is your dad even paying for the second wedding? My dad never responded to my second wedding invoice. Amit should get drunk at the reception and make a sloppy chad of a toast.”
Amit and Sharee finally leave, and Sumit realizes that his lie blueprint has fraying edges, and he’s going to have to tell them if he’s going to delay the ring ceremony again.
“The COVID-19 excuse only worked until we got these disease banishing cards,” Sumit says. “Then the lawyer didn’t help, what with his ‘look at this easy option’ business. Now I feel confident that if anything at all happens, I will use my parents as an excuse for another ring delay.”
“Where have I heard that before?” Jenny retorts. Stop everything and clear the runway, Jenny might be coming in for a landing.
The next day Jenny wants to impress the woman she befriended and betrayed, so she’s making an Indian dish Sumit’s mother is 100% not going to eat. Sumit tells her it’s delicious, but he’s not sure how it’s going to taste poured over bullshit. Jenny is nervous about sharing space with two people she hasn’t seen since they tried to “take Sumit away from me,” and Sumit reminds her to stay calm and not get angry when his mother is shouting things she doesn’t understand.
Mom arrives with a red scarf to announce she’s ready for war, and Sumit greets them by touching their feet. Mom and Dad give Jenny an icy greeting, before telling Sumit they want him to leave with them, and Sumit pauses before saying he won’t leave. Sumit asks them to be happy for his happiness, while Jenny sits there as a reminder that you can live in India year-round, and still make no effort to learn the language.
Mom is unfazed as Sumit demonstrates his commitment to compulsive lying by telling his parents that the minute the lawyer said they could marry without permission, he was all like, “No way, I would never do anything that would offend my parents ever. Surely I will get permission first!” Both parents don’t give a fuck, because they’ve brought their reading glasses and plan to burn through every book in the library.
“You are trying to absorb a culture from a faraway place,” dad says. “Why don’t you get 23andme and find out you’re 1/200th American if it will make you feel cultured? Then you can dress in white t-shirts like Bruce Springsteen and wear a cowboy hat and vote against your best interests! Why do you hate your health care, son? We have these cards, and there, they have nothing.”
“Why don’t you find another oldie? Find a hundred year old!” Father coming out with the hits. “This is all you could find? Yes, I will talk about my unemployed, cheating, catfish son as a jewel stolen from my crown by this merciless harpie.”
Ace Detective Jenny surmises that things are going poorly, and mom shouts that Jenny should leave Sumit. While Jenny has no idea what words she said, this is not her first time being on the receiving end of an incoherent yell, so she shakes her head, which makes mom’s eyes get wide to prepare for total detonation.
Mother Sumit says, “You’re becoming old because she’s old. Why don’t you get up at 6:30AM to stand in line at Old Country Buffet? Go ahead and turn a record on your Victoria. When does your Alaskan cruise leave?”
Sumit gets on his knees and flips a table, to show how America he’s become, and says his love for Jenny surpasses all other love he’s known. They are unmoved, and mom declares that having kids is the point of marriage, and he’s about to be a stepdad to kids who are older than himself. Sumit says, “Dammit mom, I told you it’s called childless by choice, and we have much online support from people with many, many houseplants. Stop trying to force my crotch fruit to drop when they haven’t even ripened.”
Jenny: Yep, I’m still here.
Sumit: Mother I throw myself at your feet to remind you yet again of my brief marriage misery, which you paid for yourself and I could have backed out of, but didn’t. Do you see how I am the victim or hero in every narrative? Do you see what a skilled narcissist can accomplish?
Mother Sumit: Do you see how I am chewing this glass? Blood drips from my mouth, but still I bite, summoning the power of Kali-Ma to enact vengeance!
Jenny: Well, that’s a wrap for me. Time to walk away and pretend i have any intention of leaving the country for the sake of reuniting his estranged family. Scene.
Yazan and Angela are meeting Yazan at a restaurant, and this time he’s got a translator named Adam to clarify his statements, and serve as the MVP of this episode.
“You see, I’m not a plastic piece of garbage bought on overstock.com,” Adam explains. “In fact, I promise to deliver a dramatic retelling of the most pertinent events in what might be a British accent. You should listen to my audiobook performances, truly.”
But am I going to leave Deavan’s Instigation Device (ID) out of this recap? No, I am not. Humans will never replace machines, and ID knows it.
Yazan explains that he’s okay with giving up everything for Brittany, and he’s done everything she wanted him to do. All he asks if that she pledge her love to him and marry him. He says she doesn’t have to convert, and he’s not trying to get familial approval, because it’s not going to happen anyway. He just wants her, and to know that he’s loved.
Brittany: I don’t know why, but your alienation makes more sense in a British accent.
Adam: I am beginning to understand you, and the unique suffering that has plagued you. Surely this time our union will be blessed, and we will sally forth into a field of lavender. Come now, and take my hand so tenderly, as we drift towards our shared future.
ID (Instigation Device): Brittany says she doesn’t listen when you talk.
Yazan: I will give up everything if you pledge your love to me. I’ll lay down on the railroad tracks and tie myself to them. Then, I will hand you the keys to the train, and ask you to pull the whistle.
Adam: This enormous sacrifice will be but a passing storm if you pledge your love to me, so that we might start a life free from the burden of familial demands, warmed by our radiant love.
ID: I want to hit you with a train.
Yazan is disappointed that he’s laid it all on the line, and the best Brittany can offer is another lukewarm non-answer. But you can’t lie to a liar, and Brittany knows Yazan has only revealed 20% of the story, so she asks to speak with Yazan’s brother, Obaida, privately. Obaida is the Draco Malfoy of the family, and Brittany describes their interaction as weird, with the way he calls her mudblood and how he’s always zipping around on a broom. Yazan sets up their meeting, and Ultimate Translator Adam stands at the ready, and he’s not afraid to add that trademark flourish.
Obaida: Hmm. Is that a sinister way to start? Let me summon the forces of darkness to preserve me during this exchange. I’m scared for Yazan. The fam hates this relationshit, and Yazan is in grave danger. They think he abandoned his culture and tradition for Coke Zero and Wrangler jeans, which is the theme of this episode. He could be killed.
Adam: I come to you with grave concerns about Yazan’s future. The family has been torn asunder, with some members wishing a plague on both your houses. Lo, for this love he might lose his very life, at the hands of his own father, no less. Madness! They could draw down their swords and murder him in cold blood by the roadside, like so many sheep in Ethiopia.
ID: Yazan is totally dead, and it’s your fault.
Brittany: Cries forever.
Yazan’s brother is moved by Brittany’s emotional display, and says he will try to plead their case with his family, but either way he and his bro are down for life. “If the whole world stands against Yazan, I will stand beside him,” Obaida says, perfectly demonstrating the Sibling Code of Ethics.
Amit: Who is this Cindy Brady? I am not this.
Obaida: Okay, Cindy.
Brittany wants to know if a hollow conversion would help, and Obaida says no, because Islam is a conviction, not a bargaining tool. Still, he doesn’t think someone could cry so much and not love Yazan. So he tells Brittany that she’s basically his entire family now, and she has to take care of him. No pressure.
Brittany: You’ve given me a lot to think about, like when the next flight leaves for Chicago.
Adam: Now that your situation is clear to me, my heart swells with empathy. For now I’ll retreat for private meditation and reflection, and shall say no more.
ID: Fuck this. Deuces, Draco.
Ari is taking her mom to the airport, “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac playing in the background, setting the mood for trashing Biniyam. Janice says that she feels less comfortable that she did when she left last time, because their communication is still bad, and it seems like Ari is basically on her own. Still, Ari’s pregnancy hormones are starting to deflate to human levels, so she’s not so interested in her mom’s opinions. This doesn’t mean we’re spared another tearful airport scene, so just imagine a lot of crying and declarations of not knowing when she’ll see her again (about two weeks).
It’s time for Avi to get baptized so that Biniyam’s family will stop repeatedly tapping on the window asking: “Is he going to be baptized now? Now? How bout now? Now?” Ari doesn’t know what to expect, and she’ll never earn her black belt in passive aggression if she bothers to ask.
“If I ask, how will I resent him for not telling me later?” Ari has a point.
“It’s okay. I won’t be around later,” Biniyam has one, too.
The ritual starts with harmonic singing, incense, and blessings. Avi is given the name Tibebe Selassi, which means Get Me Out of Here in Yoruba, and Ari makes a note to forget this name going forward. The priest pies her with a Bible to see if it makes her face melt off, and since the best he gets is a hiss there’s no chance of adding an exorcism to their baptism bill. Biniyam’s family whispers to Ari that she needs to get Avi naked for a little Jesus shower. When the clothes are unwrapped we get to see the distinct haircut the kid already has going on, and either the kid is growing his own 18th century monk look, or they did that business on purpose. The kid cries, because that’s his only way to vote, and some rando is waterboarding him, and his mom is just watching like a monster.
“What is even happening?” Avi has concerns. “I was slumbering in this warm dark cave, when suddenly I was pulled into the light. Since then I’ve had my penis cut and water dumped over me while people chant. Is this being abducted by aliens? I feel like this is aliens.”
ID: It’s totally aliens.
Afterwards they head to a reception of sorts, where Ari is tasked with wrapping Avi in injera (Ethiopian bread) for good fortune. Ari has never made a burrito before, so she’s lost, and really, Ari? REALLY? Avi seems down with edible blankets, and looks like he’s going to laugh when his mom weirdly lays him on his side. “You mean like this?” She asks, standing him on his head. “I don’t get it, tell me what to do! The splits? How about face planted? Should he wear it like a hat?”
After Avi has a chance to fart the bread alive, it’s passed around for everyone to eat. This is the scene I’ve always wanted, and Drascilla’s diaper eggs salute it. Wish reports that Avi’s farts are delicious, and Ari was well-behaved all day, and she just knows that if she keeps tracking Ari’s behavior with charts, graphs, and judgement, she’ll totes be happy in Ethiopia.
Jihoon is about to introduce us to a tradition of his own, and since Deavan’s father is present and feels honored to be included, there’s a 25% chance Elicia will express an emotion other than scorn. This is good news, because if Elicia continues to frown at their living situation, she might do something to disrupt the wedding that doesn’t matter, because she’s already married anyway.
“I know how stressful the second wedding is,” GTFO Libby. “What with all the peasant food and drunken brothers, and SO much planning to do the same thing again.”
“I don’t have those things, but my mom has resting sad face. That summons the strength of 10 Karens. Yes, this is powerful enough to stop the marriage that already happened,” Deavan dumbs.
“Who is this Karen? What about the Cindys?” Amit just wants to feel included.
“You must tell your parents about Cindy,” Sharee isn’t having it.
Teayang is readying for the occasion by fussing, because he doesn’t have any of his mom’s delicious hair to chew on. Once she lifts him up he grabs a handful to express his intent to devour her inch by inch if the situation demands it, but she fails to heed his warning. Elicia likes apartment, but makes a point of calling it a “starter home,” in case their mattress needs more backhanded compliments for support.
What’s about to go down is a Hahm (Box) ceremony, which involves a groom walking in with two dudes sporting squid masks to banish evil, smashing a ghord to demonstrate competence in fucking shit up, and gifting the parents a box filled with items that will sustain the marriage, like sex toys and a restraining order. At the bottom of the box is a divorce, but it’s written in Korean so Elicia throws it in the trash.
While Elicia keeps turning the box around in her hands, hoping to meet at least one cenobite if they have those chains properly sanitized, Jihoon goes looking for Deavan, who is hiding as part of this business. It’s not much of a hunt, since all he had to do is follow the scent of complaint.
“I’m going to eat one of my friend’s faces now,” Jihoon says, snapping off a piece of squid and shoving it into his cake hole.
Father Deavan is thoroughly charmed, Elicia is awkwardly judgmental, and Deavan whines that she can’t believe they sold her for a box. So did he get the box back, or did someone promise Jihoon a cash back refund?
And still, Teayang soldiers on, interested in his grandfather. “Who is this older fellow bringing a thin beam of light into my dark world?” Teayang has questions. “Drascilla was moved by their reunion, so much that she neglected to fart in her birthday bread before we ate it. And this box tempts me. So many beautiful things I can hold in my mouth. Can I ride it down a snow covered hill in it? Can the older guy take me? Who is this wizard?”
Deavan tries on her wedding dress with an assist from her mom, and lives in a world where her butt is big. It is a gorgeous, unique dress, and no one is asking her to say yes to it. Deavan says the way Jihoon helped with the miscarriage really fixed their relationship, and she’s happy to be close with his mom all of a sudden. Elicia feels bad that she couldn’t be there for Deavan in her grief, blaming Jihoon and accelerating a narrative where this is his fault. Elicia says she supports the marriage for her and the kids, which is support-like, but not really. This is the “I’m sorry that you feel that way” of support declarations.
All of this is better than American Cheese and our favorite frowning grocery shopper, Melyza. Like a lot of people who move to neighboring nations, Cheese has kept his job, and now that he knows Melyza went dick shopping while they were apart, he’s ready to return to it. He’s so torn about his possible relocation that he’s already bought a ticket, without telling Melyza. She’s caught off guard, since she was really enjoying the upper hand and the possibility of milking this forever.
They’re sad while packing suitcases, sad while promising to return, sad in the car all the way to the airport, and sad at the airport. Never mind that this is an entirely manufactured problem that could just as easily be resolved by sticking it out, learning Spanish or Portuguese, marrying, and then getting a job.
“I don’t know,” Melyza says, a tear trickling down her cheek. “It’s almost like we totally wasted everyone’s time.”
You did, so here’s a story about Sprocket and Pickle: So the other day Pickle is hauling ass through the living room with Sprocket’s stuffed squirrel in her mouth. The plan was for Sprocket to chase her, but instead he’s shook that she’s kidnapped his baby. He sits in the middle of the living room and starts crying until she brings Squirrel back, and lays him down like, “Damn, I didn’t know it would be all of that.” Sprocket immediately puts Squirrel in front of the heater to bring him back to life, and then carries him to my lap. He starts grooming him and asking me if the little feller is gonna make it, and I say I dunno, it’s going to be touch and go for awhile. All we can do is pray. Sprocket responds by taking a nap on Squirrel’s face. This concludes the section desperate to be more interesting than Cheese and his grater.
NEXT WEEK: Jesus Christ, this season never ends, and yes, the same sort of shit continues to happen. Ari gets caught in a Christian mosh pit, Kenny and Armando are using a television as a computer screen, Drascilla is getting ideas about enlivening this wedding, Jenny and Sumit are having the same conversation, and everyone at home is considering watching Real Housewives of Potomac instead.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! And thanks everyone for your patience.
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2020.11.24 21:26 fractalfay This is all you could find? Recap of 90DF The Other Way S02E21

Welcome to another stunning recap of Teayang and Drascilla, where a herd of baffling adults operate like accidents, while their wonder-children marvel at the world despite them.
When we last saw Jenny, she was hanging out with people 35 years her junior, and she wasn’t getting any of their pop culture references. Sis-in-law Sheree has been hitting that smug tank like it’s nitrous at an EDM festival, and Jenny’s tears only added spice to her high. Sheree insists Sumit needs to tell his parents he’s about to get married for a second time, or they’re going to rat him out. Amit agrees with this, which is his second violation of the Sibling Code of Ethics, which clearly states that substance abuse and actions that could result in prison time are the only acceptable reasons for being Cindy Brady. Sumit doesn’t point out that he has no intention of getting married, and probably still doesn’t even have the ring, because what, was that theater degree for nothing?
Amit finds all of this very unfair. He just contributed to Sumit’s divorce GoFundMe, and now he’s going to have to start saving for a second one?
“Yeah,” Jen interrupts, despite never being invited to this recap. “Like, is your dad even paying for the second wedding? My dad never responded to my second wedding invoice. Amit should get drunk at the reception and make a sloppy chad of a toast.”
Amit and Sharee finally leave, and Sumit realizes that his lie blueprint has fraying edges, and he’s going to have to tell them if he’s going to delay the ring ceremony again.
“The COVID-19 excuse only worked until we got these disease banishing cards,” Sumit says. “Then the lawyer didn’t help, what with his ‘look at this easy option’ business. Now I feel confident that if anything at all happens, I will use my parents as an excuse for another ring delay.”
“Where have I heard that before?” Jenny retorts. Stop everything and clear the runway, Jenny might be coming in for a landing.
The next day Jenny wants to impress the woman she befriended and betrayed, so she’s making an Indian dish Sumit’s mother is 100% not going to eat. Sumit tells her it’s delicious, but he’s not sure how it’s going to taste poured over bullshit. Jenny is nervous about sharing space with two people she hasn’t seen since they tried to “take Sumit away from me,” and Sumit reminds her to stay calm and not get angry when his mother is shouting things she doesn’t understand.
Mom arrives with a red scarf to announce she’s ready for war, and Sumit greets them by touching their feet. Mom and Dad give Jenny an icy greeting, before telling Sumit they want him to leave with them, and Sumit pauses before saying he won’t leave. Sumit asks them to be happy for his happiness, while Jenny sits there as a reminder that you can live in India year-round, and still make no effort to learn the language.
Mom is unfazed as Sumit demonstrates his commitment to compulsive lying by telling his parents that the minute the lawyer said they could marry without permission, he was all like, “No way, I would never do anything that would offend my parents ever. Surely I will get permission first!” Both parents don’t give a fuck, because they’ve brought their reading glasses and plan to burn through every book in the library.
“You are trying to absorb a culture from a faraway place,” dad says. “Why don’t you get 23andme and find out you’re 1/200th American if it will make you feel cultured? Then you can dress in white t-shirts like Bruce Springsteen and wear a cowboy hat and vote against your best interests! Why do you hate your health care, son? We have these cards, and there, they have nothing.”
“Why don’t you find another oldie? Find a hundred year old!” Father coming out with the hits. “This is all you could find? Yes, I will talk about my unemployed, cheating, catfish son as a jewel stolen from my crown by this merciless harpie.”
Ace Detective Jenny surmises that things are going poorly, and mom shouts that Jenny should leave Sumit. While Jenny has no idea what words she said, this is not her first time being on the receiving end of an incoherent yell, so she shakes her head, which makes mom’s eyes get wide to prepare for total detonation.
Mother Sumit says, “You’re becoming old because she’s old. Why don’t you get up at 6:30AM to stand in line at Old Country Buffet? Go ahead and turn a record on your Victoria. When does your Alaskan cruise leave?”
Sumit gets on his knees and flips a table, to show how America he’s become, and says his love for Jenny surpasses all other love he’s known. They are unmoved, and mom declares that having kids is the point of marriage, and he’s about to be a stepdad to kids who are older than himself. Sumit says, “Dammit mom, I told you it’s called childless by choice, and we have much online support from people with many, many houseplants. Stop trying to force my crotch fruit to drop when they haven’t even ripened.”
Jenny: Yep, I’m still here.
Sumit: Mother I throw myself at your feet to remind you yet again of my brief marriage misery, which you paid for yourself and I could have backed out of, but didn’t. Do you see how I am the victim or hero in every narrative? Do you see what a skilled narcissist can accomplish?
Mother Sumit: Do you see how I am chewing this glass? Blood drips from my mouth, but still I bite, summoning the power of Kali-Ma to enact vengeance!
Jenny: Well, that’s a wrap for me. Time to walk away and pretend i have any intention of leaving the country for the sake of reuniting his estranged family. Scene.
Yazan and Angela are meeting Yazan at a restaurant, and this time he’s got a translator named Adam to clarify his statements, and serve as the MVP of this episode.
“You see, I’m not a plastic piece of garbage bought on overstock.com,” Adam explains. “In fact, I promise to deliver a dramatic retelling of the most pertinent events in what might be a British accent. You should listen to my audiobook performances, truly.”
But am I going to leave Deavan’s Instigation Device (ID) out of this recap? No, I am not. Humans will never replace machines, and ID knows it.
Yazan explains that he’s okay with giving up everything for Brittany, and he’s done everything she wanted him to do. All he asks if that she pledge her love to him and marry him. He says she doesn’t have to convert, and he’s not trying to get familial approval, because it’s not going to happen anyway. He just wants her, and to know that he’s loved.
Brittany: I don’t know why, but your alienation makes more sense in a British accent.
Adam: I am beginning to understand you, and the unique suffering that has plagued you. Surely this time our union will be blessed, and we will sally forth into a field of lavender. Come now, and take my hand so tenderly, as we drift towards our shared future.
ID (Instigation Device): Brittany says she doesn’t listen when you talk.
Yazan: I will give up everything if you pledge your love to me. I’ll lay down on the railroad tracks and tie myself to them. Then, I will hand you the keys to the train, and ask you to pull the whistle.
Adam: This enormous sacrifice will be but a passing storm if you pledge your love to me, so that we might start a life free from the burden of familial demands, warmed by our radiant love.
ID: I want to hit you with a train.
Yazan is disappointed that he’s laid it all on the line, and the best Brittany can offer is another lukewarm non-answer. But you can’t lie to a liar, and Brittany knows Yazan has only revealed 20% of the story, so she asks to speak with Yazan’s brother, Obaida, privately. Obaida is the Draco Malfoy of the family, and Brittany describes their interaction as weird, with the way he calls her mudblood and how he’s always zipping around on a broom. Yazan sets up their meeting, and Ultimate Translator Adam stands at the ready, and he’s not afraid to add that trademark flourish.
Obaida: Hmm. Is that a sinister way to start? Let me summon the forces of darkness to preserve me during this exchange. I’m scared for Yazan. The fam hates this relationshit, and Yazan is in grave danger. They think he abandoned his culture and tradition for Coke Zero and Wrangler jeans, which is the theme of this episode. He could be killed.
Adam: I come to you with grave concerns about Yazan’s future. The family has been torn asunder, with some members wishing a plague on both your houses. Lo, for this love he might lose his very life, at the hands of his own father, no less. Madness! They could draw down their swords and murder him in cold blood by the roadside, like so many sheep in Ethiopia.
ID: Yazan is totally dead, and it’s your fault.
Brittany: Cries forever.
Yazan’s brother is moved by Brittany’s emotional display, and says he will try to plead their case with his family, but either way he and his bro are down for life. “If the whole world stands against Yazan, I will stand beside him,” Obaida says, perfectly demonstrating the Sibling Code of Ethics.
Amit: Who is this Cindy Brady? I am not this.
Obaida: Okay, Cindy.
Brittany wants to know if a hollow conversion would help, and Obaida says no, because Islam is a conviction, not a bargaining tool. Still, he doesn’t think someone could cry so much and not love Yazan. So he tells Brittany that she’s basically his entire family now, and she has to take care of him. No pressure.
Brittany: You’ve given me a lot to think about, like when the next flight leaves for Chicago.
Adam: Now that your situation is clear to me, my heart swells with empathy. For now I’ll retreat for private meditation and reflection, and shall say no more.
ID: Fuck this. Deuces, Draco.
Ari is taking her mom to the airport, “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac playing in the background, setting the mood for trashing Biniyam. Janice says that she feels less comfortable that she did when she left last time, because their communication is still bad, and it seems like Ari is basically on her own. Still, Ari’s pregnancy hormones are starting to deflate to human levels, so she’s not so interested in her mom’s opinions. This doesn’t mean we’re spared another tearful airport scene, so just imagine a lot of crying and declarations of not knowing when she’ll see her again (about two weeks).
It’s time for Avi to get baptized so that Biniyam’s family will stop repeatedly tapping on the window asking: “Is he going to be baptized now? Now? How bout now? Now?” Ari doesn’t know what to expect, and she’ll never earn her black belt in passive aggression if she bothers to ask.
“If I ask, how will I resent him for not telling me later?” Ari has a point.
“It’s okay. I won’t be around later,” Biniyam has one, too.
The ritual starts with harmonic singing, incense, and blessings. Avi is given the name Tibebe Selassi, which means Get Me Out of Here in Yoruba, and Ari makes a note to forget this name going forward. The priest pies her with a Bible to see if it makes her face melt off, and since the best he gets is a hiss there’s no chance of adding an exorcism to their baptism bill. Biniyam’s family whispers to Ari that she needs to get Avi naked for a little Jesus shower. When the clothes are unwrapped we get to see the distinct haircut the kid already has going on, and either the kid is growing his own 18th century monk look, or they did that business on purpose. The kid cries, because that’s his only way to vote, and some rando is waterboarding him, and his mom is just watching like a monster.
“What is even happening?” Avi has concerns. “I was slumbering in this warm dark cave, when suddenly I was pulled into the light. Since then I’ve had my penis cut and water dumped over me while people chant. Is this being abducted by aliens? I feel like this is aliens.”
ID: It’s totally aliens.
Afterwards they head to a reception of sorts, where Ari is tasked with wrapping Avi in injera (Ethiopian bread) for good fortune. Ari has never made a burrito before, so she’s lost, and really, Ari? REALLY? Avi seems down with edible blankets, and looks like he’s going to laugh when his mom weirdly lays him on his side. “You mean like this?” She asks, standing him on his head. “I don’t get it, tell me what to do! The splits? How about face planted? Should he wear it like a hat?”
After Avi has a chance to fart the bread alive, it’s passed around for everyone to eat. This is the scene I’ve always wanted, and Drascilla’s diaper eggs salute it. Wish reports that Avi’s farts are delicious, and Ari was well-behaved all day, and she just knows that if she keeps tracking Ari’s behavior with charts, graphs, and judgement, she’ll totes be happy in Ethiopia.
Jihoon is about to introduce us to a tradition of his own, and since Deavan’s father is present and feels honored to be included, there’s a 25% chance Elicia will express an emotion other than scorn. This is good news, because if Elicia continues to frown at their living situation, she might do something to disrupt the wedding that doesn’t matter, because she’s already married anyway.
“I know how stressful the second wedding is,” GTFO Libby. “What with all the peasant food and drunken brothers, and SO much planning to do the same thing again.”
“I don’t have those things, but my mom has resting sad face. That summons the strength of 10 Karens. Yes, this is powerful enough to stop the marriage that already happened,” Deavan dumbs.
“Who is this Karen? What about the Cindys?” Amit just wants to feel included.
“You must tell your parents about Cindy,” Sharee isn’t having it.
Teayang is readying for the occasion by fussing, because he doesn’t have any of his mom’s delicious hair to chew on. Once she lifts him up he grabs a handful to express his intent to devour her inch by inch if the situation demands it, but she fails to heed his warning. Elicia likes apartment, but makes a point of calling it a “starter home,” in case their mattress needs more backhanded compliments for support.
What’s about to go down is a Hahm (Box) ceremony, which involves a groom walking in with two dudes sporting squid masks to banish evil, smashing a ghord to demonstrate competence in fucking shit up, and gifting the parents a box filled with items that will sustain the marriage, like sex toys and a restraining order. At the bottom of the box is a divorce, but it’s written in Korean so Elicia throws it in the trash.
While Elicia keeps turning the box around in her hands, hoping to meet at least one cenobite if they have those chains properly sanitized, Jihoon goes looking for Deavan, who is hiding as part of this business. It’s not much of a hunt, since all he had to do is follow the scent of complaint.
“I’m going to eat one of my friend’s faces now,” Jihoon says, snapping off a piece of squid and shoving it into his cake hole.
Father Deavan is thoroughly charmed, Elicia is awkwardly judgmental, and Deavan whines that she can’t believe they sold her for a box. So did he get the box back, or did someone promise Jihoon a cash back refund?
And still, Teayang soldiers on, interested in his grandfather. “Who is this older fellow bringing a thin beam of light into my dark world?” Teayang has questions. “Drascilla was moved by their reunion, so much that she neglected to fart in her birthday bread before we ate it. And this box tempts me. So many beautiful things I can hold in my mouth. Can I ride it down a snow covered hill in it? Can the older guy take me? Who is this wizard?”
Deavan tries on her wedding dress with an assist from her mom, and lives in a world where her butt is big. It is a gorgeous, unique dress, and no one is asking her to say yes to it. Deavan says the way Jihoon helped with the miscarriage really fixed their relationship, and she’s happy to be close with his mom all of a sudden. Elicia feels bad that she couldn’t be there for Deavan in her grief, blaming Jihoon and accelerating a narrative where this is his fault. Elicia says she supports the marriage for her and the kids, which is support-like, but not really. This is the “I’m sorry that you feel that way” of support declarations.
All of this is better than American Cheese and our favorite frowning grocery shopper, Melyza. Like a lot of people who move to neighboring nations, Cheese has kept his job, and now that he knows Melyza went dick shopping while they were apart, he’s ready to return to it. He’s so torn about his possible relocation that he’s already bought a ticket, without telling Melyza. She’s caught off guard, since she was really enjoying the upper hand and the possibility of milking this forever.
They’re sad while packing suitcases, sad while promising to return, sad in the car all the way to the airport, and sad at the airport. Never mind that this is an entirely manufactured problem that could just as easily be resolved by sticking it out, learning Spanish or Portuguese, marrying, and then getting a job.
“I don’t know,” Melyza says, a tear trickling down her cheek. “It’s almost like we totally wasted everyone’s time.”
You did, so here’s a story about Sprocket and Pickle: So the other day Pickle is hauling ass through the living room with Sprocket’s stuffed squirrel in her mouth. The plan was for Sprocket to chase her, but instead he’s shook that she’s kidnapped his baby. He sits in the middle of the living room and starts crying until she brings Squirrel back, and lays him down like, “Damn, I didn’t know it would be all of that.” Sprocket immediately puts Squirrel in front of the heater to bring him back to life, and then carries him to my lap. He starts grooming him and asking me if the little feller is gonna make it, and I say I dunno, it’s going to be touch and go for awhile. All we can do is pray. Sprocket responds by taking a nap on Squirrel’s face. This concludes the section desperate to be more interesting than Cheese and his grater.
NEXT WEEK: Jesus Christ, this season never ends, and yes, the same sort of shit continues to happen. Ari gets caught in a Christian mosh pit, Kenny and Armando are using a television as a computer screen, Drascilla is getting ideas about enlivening this wedding, Jenny and Sumit are having the same conversation, and everyone at home is considering watching Real Housewives of Potomac instead.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
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2020.11.24 21:25 fractalfay This is all you could find? Recap of 90DF The Other Way, S02E21

Welcome to another stunning recap of Teayang and Drascilla, where a herd of baffling adults operate like accidents, while their wonder-children marvel at the world despite them.
When we last saw Jenny, she was hanging out with people 35 years her junior, and she wasn’t getting any of their pop culture references. Sis-in-law Sheree has been hitting that smug tank like it’s nitrous at an EDM festival, and Jenny’s tears only added spice to her high. Sheree insists Sumit needs to tell his parents he’s about to get married for a second time, or they’re going to rat him out. Amit agrees with this, which is his second violation of the Sibling Code of Ethics, which clearly states that substance abuse and actions that could result in prison time are the only acceptable reasons for being Cindy Brady. Sumit doesn’t point out that he has no intention of getting married, and probably still doesn’t even have the ring, because what, was that theater degree for nothing?
Amit finds all of this very unfair. He just contributed to Sumit’s divorce GoFundMe, and now he’s going to have to start saving for a second one?
“Yeah,” Jen interrupts, despite never being invited to this recap. “Like, is your dad even paying for the second wedding? My dad never responded to my second wedding invoice. Amit should get drunk at the reception and make a sloppy chad of a toast.”
Amit and Sharee finally leave, and Sumit realizes that his lie blueprint has fraying edges, and he’s going to have to tell them if he’s going to delay the ring ceremony again.
“The COVID-19 excuse only worked until we got these disease banishing cards,” Sumit says. “Then the lawyer didn’t help, what with his ‘look at this easy option’ business. Now I feel confident that if anything at all happens, I will use my parents as an excuse for another ring delay.”
“Where have I heard that before?” Jenny retorts. Stop everything and clear the runway, Jenny might be coming in for a landing.
The next day Jenny wants to impress the woman she befriended and betrayed, so she’s making an Indian dish Sumit’s mother is 100% not going to eat. Sumit tells her it’s delicious, but he’s not sure how it’s going to taste poured over bullshit. Jenny is nervous about sharing space with two people she hasn’t seen since they tried to “take Sumit away from me,” and Sumit reminds her to stay calm and not get angry when his mother is shouting things she doesn’t understand.
Mom arrives with a red scarf to announce she’s ready for war, and Sumit greets them by touching their feet. Mom and Dad give Jenny an icy greeting, before telling Sumit they want him to leave with them, and Sumit pauses before saying he won’t leave. Sumit asks them to be happy for his happiness, while Jenny sits there as a reminder that you can live in India year-round, and still make no effort to learn the language.
Mom is unfazed as Sumit demonstrates his commitment to compulsive lying by telling his parents that the minute the lawyer said they could marry without permission, he was all like, “No way, I would never do anything that would offend my parents ever. Surely I will get permission first!” Both parents don’t give a fuck, because they’ve brought their reading glasses and plan to burn through every book in the library.
“You are trying to absorb a culture from a faraway place,” dad says. “Why don’t you get 23andme and find out you’re 1/200th American if it will make you feel cultured? Then you can dress in white t-shirts like Bruce Springsteen and wear a cowboy hat and vote against your best interests! Why do you hate your health care, son? We have these cards, and there, they have nothing.”
“Why don’t you find another oldie? Find a hundred year old!” Father coming out with the hits. “This is all you could find? Yes, I will talk about my unemployed, cheating, catfish son as a jewel stolen from my crown by this merciless harpie.”
Ace Detective Jenny surmises that things are going poorly, and mom shouts that Jenny should leave Sumit. While Jenny has no idea what words she said, this is not her first time being on the receiving end of an incoherent yell, so she shakes her head, which makes mom’s eyes get wide to prepare for total detonation.
Mother Sumit says, “You’re becoming old because she’s old. Why don’t you get up at 6:30AM to stand in line at Old Country Buffet? Go ahead and turn a record on your Victoria. When does your Alaskan cruise leave?”
Sumit gets on his knees and flips a table, to show how America he’s become, and says his love for Jenny surpasses all other love he’s known. They are unmoved, and mom declares that having kids is the point of marriage, and he’s about to be a stepdad to kids who are older than himself. Sumit says, “Dammit mom, I told you it’s called childless by choice, and we have much online support from people with many, many houseplants. Stop trying to force my crotch fruit to drop when they haven’t even ripened.”
Jenny: Yep, I’m still here.
Sumit: Mother I throw myself at your feet to remind you yet again of my brief marriage misery, which you paid for yourself and I could have backed out of, but didn’t. Do you see how I am the victim or hero in every narrative? Do you see what a skilled narcissist can accomplish?
Mother Sumit: Do you see how I am chewing this glass? Blood drips from my mouth, but still I bite, summoning the power of Kali-Ma to enact vengeance!
Jenny: Well, that’s a wrap for me. Time to walk away and pretend i have any intention of leaving the country for the sake of reuniting his estranged family. Scene.
Yazan and Angela are meeting Yazan at a restaurant, and this time he’s got a translator named Adam to clarify his statements, and serve as the MVP of this episode.
“You see, I’m not a plastic piece of garbage bought on overstock.com,” Adam explains. “In fact, I promise to deliver a dramatic retelling of the most pertinent events in what might be a British accent. You should listen to my audiobook performances, truly.”
But am I going to leave Deavan’s Instigation Device (ID) out of this recap? No, I am not. Humans will never replace machines, and ID knows it.
Yazan explains that he’s okay with giving up everything for Brittany, and he’s done everything she wanted him to do. All he asks if that she pledge her love to him and marry him. He says she doesn’t have to convert, and he’s not trying to get familial approval, because it’s not going to happen anyway. He just wants her, and to know that he’s loved.
Brittany: I don’t know why, but your alienation makes more sense in a British accent.
Adam: I am beginning to understand you, and the unique suffering that has plagued you. Surely this time our union will be blessed, and we will sally forth into a field of lavender. Come now, and take my hand so tenderly, as we drift towards our shared future.
ID (Instigation Device): Brittany says she doesn’t listen when you talk.
Yazan: I will give up everything if you pledge your love to me. I’ll lay down on the railroad tracks and tie myself to them. Then, I will hand you the keys to the train, and ask you to pull the whistle.
Adam: This enormous sacrifice will be but a passing storm if you pledge your love to me, so that we might start a life free from the burden of familial demands, warmed by our radiant love.
ID: I want to hit you with a train.
Yazan is disappointed that he’s laid it all on the line, and the best Brittany can offer is another lukewarm non-answer. But you can’t lie to a liar, and Brittany knows Yazan has only revealed 20% of the story, so she asks to speak with Yazan’s brother, Obaida, privately. Obaida is the Draco Malfoy of the family, and Brittany describes their interaction as weird, with the way he calls her mudblood and how he’s always zipping around on a broom. Yazan sets up their meeting, and Ultimate Translator Adam stands at the ready, and he’s not afraid to add that trademark flourish.
Obaida: Hmm. Is that a sinister way to start? Let me summon the forces of darkness to preserve me during this exchange. I’m scared for Yazan. The fam hates this relationshit, and Yazan is in grave danger. They think he abandoned his culture and tradition for Coke Zero and Wrangler jeans, which is the theme of this episode. He could be killed.
Adam: I come to you with grave concerns about Yazan’s future. The family has been torn asunder, with some members wishing a plague on both your houses. Lo, for this love he might lose his very life, at the hands of his own father, no less. Madness! They could draw down their swords and murder him in cold blood by the roadside, like so many sheep in Ethiopia.
ID: Yazan is totally dead, and it’s your fault.
Brittany: Cries forever.
Yazan’s brother is moved by Brittany’s emotional display, and says he will try to plead their case with his family, but either way he and his bro are down for life. “If the whole world stands against Yazan, I will stand beside him,” Obaida says, perfectly demonstrating the Sibling Code of Ethics.
Amit: Who is this Cindy Brady? I am not this.
Obaida: Okay, Cindy.
Brittany wants to know if a hollow conversion would help, and Obaida says no, because Islam is a conviction, not a bargaining tool. Still, he doesn’t think someone could cry so much and not love Yazan. So he tells Brittany that she’s basically his entire family now, and she has to take care of him. No pressure.
Brittany: You’ve given me a lot to think about, like when the next flight leaves for Chicago.
Adam: Now that your situation is clear to me, my heart swells with empathy. For now I’ll retreat for private meditation and reflection, and shall say no more.
ID: Fuck this. Deuces, Draco.
Ari is taking her mom to the airport, “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac playing in the background, setting the mood for trashing Biniyam. Janice says that she feels less comfortable that she did when she left last time, because their communication is still bad, and it seems like Ari is basically on her own. Still, Ari’s pregnancy hormones are starting to deflate to human levels, so she’s not so interested in her mom’s opinions. This doesn’t mean we’re spared another tearful airport scene, so just imagine a lot of crying and declarations of not knowing when she’ll see her again (about two weeks).
It’s time for Avi to get baptized so that Biniyam’s family will stop repeatedly tapping on the window asking: “Is he going to be baptized now? Now? How bout now? Now?” Ari doesn’t know what to expect, and she’ll never earn her black belt in passive aggression if she bothers to ask.
“If I ask, how will I resent him for not telling me later?” Ari has a point.
“It’s okay. I won’t be around later,” Biniyam has one, too.
The ritual starts with harmonic singing, incense, and blessings. Avi is given the name Tibebe Selassi, which means Get Me Out of Here in Yoruba, and Ari makes a note to forget this name going forward. The priest pies her with a Bible to see if it makes her face melt off, and since the best he gets is a hiss there’s no chance of adding an exorcism to their baptism bill. Biniyam’s family whispers to Ari that she needs to get Avi naked for a little Jesus shower. When the clothes are unwrapped we get to see the distinct haircut the kid already has going on, and either the kid is growing his own 18th century monk look, or they did that business on purpose. The kid cries, because that’s his only way to vote, and some rando is waterboarding him, and his mom is just watching like a monster.
“What is even happening?” Avi has concerns. “I was slumbering in this warm dark cave, when suddenly I was pulled into the light. Since then I’ve had my penis cut and water dumped over me while people chant. Is this being abducted by aliens? I feel like this is aliens.”
ID: It’s totally aliens.
Afterwards they head to a reception of sorts, where Ari is tasked with wrapping Avi in injera (Ethiopian bread) for good fortune. Ari has never made a burrito before, so she’s lost, and really, Ari? REALLY? Avi seems down with edible blankets, and looks like he’s going to laugh when his mom weirdly lays him on his side. “You mean like this?” She asks, standing him on his head. “I don’t get it, tell me what to do! The splits? How about face planted? Should he wear it like a hat?”
After Avi has a chance to fart the bread alive, it’s passed around for everyone to eat. This is the scene I’ve always wanted, and Drascilla’s diaper eggs salute it. Wish reports that Avi’s farts are delicious, and Ari was well-behaved all day, and she just knows that if she keeps tracking Ari’s behavior with charts, graphs, and judgement, she’ll totes be happy in Ethiopia.
Jihoon is about to introduce us to a tradition of his own, and since Deavan’s father is present and feels honored to be included, there’s a 25% chance Elicia will express an emotion other than scorn. This is good news, because if Elicia continues to frown at their living situation, she might do something to disrupt the wedding that doesn’t matter, because she’s already married anyway.
“I know how stressful the second wedding is,” GTFO Libby. “What with all the peasant food and drunken brothers, and SO much planning to do the same thing again.”
“I don’t have those things, but my mom has resting sad face. That summons the strength of 10 Karens. Yes, this is powerful enough to stop the marriage that already happened,” Deavan dumbs.
“Who is this Karen? What about the Cindys?” Amit just wants to feel included.
“You must tell your parents about Cindy,” Sharee isn’t having it.
Teayang is readying for the occasion by fussing, because he doesn’t have any of his mom’s delicious hair to chew on. Once she lifts him up he grabs a handful to express his intent to devour her inch by inch if the situation demands it, but she fails to heed his warning. Elicia likes apartment, but makes a point of calling it a “starter home,” in case their mattress needs more backhanded compliments for support.
What’s about to go down is a Hahm (Box) ceremony, which involves a groom walking in with two dudes sporting squid masks to banish evil, smashing a ghord to demonstrate competence in fucking shit up, and gifting the parents a box filled with items that will sustain the marriage, like sex toys and a restraining order. At the bottom of the box is a divorce, but it’s written in Korean so Elicia throws it in the trash.
While Elicia keeps turning the box around in her hands, hoping to meet at least one cenobite if they have those chains properly sanitized, Jihoon goes looking for Deavan, who is hiding as part of this business. It’s not much of a hunt, since all he had to do is follow the scent of complaint.
“I’m going to eat one of my friend’s faces now,” Jihoon says, snapping off a piece of squid and shoving it into his cake hole.
Father Deavan is thoroughly charmed, Elicia is awkwardly judgmental, and Deavan whines that she can’t believe they sold her for a box. So did he get the box back, or did someone promise Jihoon a cash back refund?
And still, Teayang soldiers on, interested in his grandfather. “Who is this older fellow bringing a thin beam of light into my dark world?” Teayang has questions. “Drascilla was moved by their reunion, so much that she neglected to fart in her birthday bread before we ate it. And this box tempts me. So many beautiful things I can hold in my mouth. Can I ride it down a snow covered hill in it? Can the older guy take me? Who is this wizard?”
Deavan tries on her wedding dress with an assist from her mom, and lives in a world where her butt is big. It is a gorgeous, unique dress, and no one is asking her to say yes to it. Deavan says the way Jihoon helped with the miscarriage really fixed their relationship, and she’s happy to be close with his mom all of a sudden. Elicia feels bad that she couldn’t be there for Deavan in her grief, blaming Jihoon and accelerating a narrative where this is his fault. Elicia says she supports the marriage for her and the kids, which is support-like, but not really. This is the “I’m sorry that you feel that way” of support declarations.
All of this is better than American Cheese and our favorite frowning grocery shopper, Melyza. Like a lot of people who move to neighboring nations, Cheese has kept his job, and now that he knows Melyza went dick shopping while they were apart, he’s ready to return to it. He’s so torn about his possible relocation that he’s already bought a ticket, without telling Melyza. She’s caught off guard, since she was really enjoying the upper hand and the possibility of milking this forever.
They’re sad while packing suitcases, sad while promising to return, sad in the car all the way to the airport, and sad at the airport. Never mind that this is an entirely manufactured problem that could just as easily be resolved by sticking it out, learning Spanish or Portuguese, marrying, and then getting a job.
“I don’t know,” Melyza says, a tear trickling down her cheek. “It’s almost like we totally wasted everyone’s time.”
You did, so here’s a story about Sprocket and Pickle: So the other day Pickle is hauling ass through the living room with Sprocket’s stuffed squirrel in her mouth. The plan was for Sprocket to chase her, but instead he’s shook that she’s kidnapped his baby. He sits in the middle of the living room and starts crying until she brings Squirrel back, and lays him down like, “Damn, I didn’t know it would be all of that.” Sprocket immediately puts Squirrel in front of the heater to bring him back to life, and then carries him to my lap. He starts grooming him and asking me if the little feller is gonna make it, and I say I dunno, it’s going to be touch and go for awhile. All we can do is pray. Sprocket responds by taking a nap on Squirrel’s face. This concludes the section desperate to be more interesting than Cheese and his grater.
NEXT WEEK: Jesus Christ, this season never ends, and yes, the same sort of shit continues to happen. Ari gets caught in a Christian mosh pit, Kenny and Armando are using a television as a computer screen, Drascilla is getting ideas about enlivening this wedding, Jenny and Sumit are having the same conversation, and everyone at home is considering watching Real Housewives of Potomac instead.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
submitted by fractalfay to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]


2020.11.23 16:59 ShortBiscuit My Story

Hi all, so I've never shared this before and I'm not sure if it belongs on this sub but here we go. So, I was raised with a mixed family, Hindu dad and Unitarian mother. Got taken to chapel and celebrated christmas and Diwali, but it wasn't a big deal. Dad never prayed and tbh I got more moral influence from Star Trek than religion. I didn't believe in God and as a little kid wanted to be an astronaut. I was always reading about science and fantasy novels, loved pokemon and wanted a pet bunny (which I eventually got), got bullied a bit at school due to being dyspraxic but my home life was wonderful.
Age 16 I read the gita, have a mystical experience and decide I believe in God and I'm a hindu, but not much chances other than I read about it a bit more and I decide to do joint Philosophy/Theology at uni. So I go to uni, everything is going fine but I encounter weird religious groups who all want to convert me and are super into this idea that their way is the only way and everyone else goes to hell, which seems weird to me because I'd always thought God loved everyone and would just keep letting people reincarnate until they got it right and would never give up on anyone. I had all these naieve ideas and couldn't get why people preferred their exclusive thing to the idea that everything was love. The group that wigged me out the most was the Christian Union because they were cultish and weird., but my course goes well and everything is fine till I go home for Christmas to find out my dad is in hospital. He's got an unusual illness called amyloidosis that makes protein deposits form in the body and they're forming in his heart, so he'll have to get chemo. He comes home for Christmas and insists on going out to celebrate my birthday even though he can only walk a few steps and has to lean on my mother the whole time but he's determined. He writes in my birthday card not to worry, we'll spend many more birthdays together having fun as a family.
The day after my birthday I go back to uni and he hugs me and everything seems ok. He goes back into hospital and I get on with my course. 8 days later, I get a call from my relative asking doing I want to come round for dinner, I say yes. I get there and my mum's there and she tells me he's dead. I take a break from uni and spend the whole time on the couch mindlessly levelling up in a dragonball z game, then go back to uni. The Christian Union try to manipulate me and target me for conversion, doing things like asking me out for coffee and then laying out sets of cards with words like "Monotheism" "Pantheism" on them and demanding "pick which one represents your beliefs", and telling me that an event is just carol singing and mince pies when it's actually evangelistic. They tell me they would never say my dad is in hell but that's the only possible conclusion of their beliefs. I get worried about this and begin desperately researching NDEs and having "hell nightmares". I develop severe depression and anxiety and begin ripping the skin off my feet so much they bleed. I develop a phobia of Christians.
Now, at this time I begin talking to the Methodist chaplain because he's super into interfaith and shows up at Hindu society meetings. I decide to go to one of their meetings because I figure "I can't spend my life being afraid of 33% of the world's population, so if I hang out with some non-dickish xtains maybe it will help". I go and they seem fine, but I'm too depressed to be around people so I don't go again till next year. Next year I go again but I'm nervous bc they have new chaplain. So the new guy walks in with pet carriers containing his pet bunnies who he's brought to the meeting, and he's a big guy and I expect a really deep voice to come out, but instead he's super camp. He seems ok but then he tells a story about how he met Jesus in his car. Alarm bells go off in my head, and after the meeting (which mainly involves eating food and petting bunnies) I ask to speak to him, but I can't voice my worries. I don't need to say anything though, because he cottons on and says "your dad is not in hell". We're still friends to this day, but with the society as a whole things start to go south because I keep questioning shit and nobody likes it when I'm not on board with their specific brand of socialist Christianity. Long story short I leave uni with 2 degrees but thoroughly fucked up by religion, then can't get a job for years because I'm overqualified. Finally I get a job where I get horribly bullied, again over religion.
However long story but I end up befriending two more priests who are both on the liberal side of things and in one case one is almost like a dad to me, and this year when I finally after so much work got a proper job where I'm not getting bullied I cried on his shoulder. I trust them deeply and they are good friends.
Fast forward to a few days ago, I mention in conversation to the priest who's shoulder I cried on that I'm a secularist and am thinking about joining the national secularist society. It goes down like a lead balloon and even though I try to explain it means I just believe in equality and nobody should have better or worse opportunities bc of their religion. Instead of arguing he says I "sound like an evangelical". I go to the other priest to help, but he says that even though I don't have agree I should apologise to the first priest for hurting his feelings and that the secularist society are terrible. I ask what about things like people being forced to pray to reserve their seats in parliament or that faith schools can be discriminatory towards atheist kids he says it doesn't work like that and it's not a big deal., and actually it's Christians who are the put upon ones, basically makes me feel like I'm the bad guy. So I contact the 1st priest and say "sorry for getting intense late at night but not apologising for what I've said because I have to follow my conscience" he replies and says it's a good thing to have different opinions and he would expect nothing less, so we're good but still messed up that I came to the other guy hurting and it feels like he kicked me whilst I was down? (Bunny priest is on my side, btw)
So now today my mind is just a whirlpool and I feel unsteady on my feet, nothing makes sense. I trusted people who were older and more powerful than me and came to them hurting and walked away more hurt. I think there's a God but I feel like religion is a vile and poisonous thing that divides people and makes them more cruel and I never want to touch it again. I feel dazed and confused and lost.
TL;DR: I was a happy kid raised in a liberal, multicultural nonchristian home and Christianity still found a way to fuck me up and steal 9 years of my life and I don't know how to even begin to recover.
submitted by ShortBiscuit to exchristian [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 21:41 creature_fear12 [For Sale] Build Your Own Bundle - 5 LPs For $20 Shipped! Rock, Pop, Prog Rock, Hard Rock, Southern Rock, Psych, Jazz, Soul, R&B, Gospel, Folk, Country, New Age, Ambient, Hawaiian, Comedy, Soundtracks, Children's and More!

Need to clear out some space so I've got the following MASSIVE list of titles available for sale today. Pick ANY 5 titles from below for $20 shipped (US only) - LPs are a combination of original US presses, early reissues and the occasional foreign press - no modern reissues here. Payments through PayPal only please. All items ship via USPS media mail with tracking. Also more than happy to work out a deal if you would like more than 5 titles!
All items grade at VG/VG or better unless otherwise noted
Here's the list!
Rock/Pop/Etc.
America - Holiday
Angel - On Earth As It Is In Heaven
Adam Ant - Strip
April Wine - The Nature Of The Beast
April Wine - First Glance
Joan Armatrading - S/T
Bachman-Turner Overdrive - S/T
Bad Company - Run With The Pack
John Baldry - It Ain't Easy
The Beatles - Sgt. Peppers (Cover ONLY; Original US stereo cover)
The Beatles - Let It Be (Cover ONLY)
Jeff Beck With The Jan Hammer Group - Live
Pat Benetar - Precious Time
Pat Benetar - Tropico
Pat Benetar - Seven The Hard Way
Pat Benetar - Crimes Of Passion
Pat Benetar - In The Heat Of The Night
Blood, Sweat & Tears - 3
Bloomfield/KoopeStills - Super Session
Tommy Bolin - Teaser
Jackson Browne - For Everyman
Roy Buchanan - You're Not Alone
Jimmy Buffett - Volcano
The Jon Butcher Axis - Along The Axis
The Call - Reconciled
The Call ‎– Into The Woods
Cher - S/T 2LP
Cher - Stars
Chicago - VI
Chicago ‎– Chicago At Carnegie Hall (Volumes I, II, III And IV) -- Counts as 2 LPs
The Dave Clark Five - Weekend In London
The Dave Clark Five - Best Of
Climax Blues Band - FM/Live
Climax Blues Band - Lucky For Some
Climax Blues Band - Gold Plated
Cold Blood - Sisyphus
Cold Blood - Cold Blood (Vinyl VG-)
Cold Blood - Thriller (Cover VG-)
Cold Blood - First Taste Of Sin
Judy Collins - Recollections
Chi Coltrane ‎– Chi Coltrane
Ry Cooder - Into The Purple Valley
Country Joe And The Fish - Together
Marshall Crenshaw - S/T
David Crosby/Graham Nash - Wind On The Water (Seams unglued)
David Crosby/Graham Nash - S/T
Rick Derringer - Live
Jackie DeShannon ‎– Laurel Canyon
Neil Diamond - Touching You Touching Me
The Doobie Brothers - Stampede
Ian Dury & The Blockheads - Laughter
The Electric Flag - A Long Time Comin'
John Entwistle - Whistle Rhymes
John Entwistle's Ox - Mad Dog
John Entwistle's Rigor Mortis Sets In - S/T
Marianne Faithfull ‎– Marianne Faithfull
Fanny - Rock n Roll Survivors
The Fixx - Walkabout
The Fixx - Phantoms
Flash And The Pan - Headlines
Foghat - Night Shift
Foghat - Energized
Greta Garbo - Garbo
Art Garfunkel - Watermark
Art Garfunkel - Angel Clare
Geils - Monkey Island
Go West ‎– Go West
Godley & Creme - The Histroy Mix Volume 1
The Barry Goldberg Reunion - S/T
Lesley Gore - Girl Talk
Grand Funk Railroad - Survival
Grand Funk Railroad - Shinin' On
Grand Funk Railroad - Live Album
Grand Funk Railroad - Caught In The Act
El Grupo Sexo - Mom's Home
Debbie Harry - KooKoo
Heart - Magazine
Honk ‎– The Original Sound Track from Five Summer Stories
Hot Tuna - Burgers
Hot Tuna - Yellow Fever
Humble Pie - Smokin'
Frank Ifield - Portrait In Song
The Indigo Girls - Strange Fire
It's A Beautiful Day ‎– Choice Quality Stuff / Anytime
Jan & Dean - Golden Hits
Jefferson Airplane - Volunteers
Jefferson Airplane - Crown Of Creation
Jefferson Airplane - Bless Its Pointed Little Head
Jefferson Airplane - After Bathing At Baxter's
Jefferson Starship/Paul Kantner - Blows Against The Empire
Jefferson Starship - Dragon Fly
Jefferson Starship - Spitfire
Jefferson Starship - Red Octopus
Jethro Tull - Bursting Out - Live
Joan Jett & The Blackhearts - Fake Friends 12"
Jo Jo Gunne - S/T
Jo Jo Gunne - Jumpin' The Gunne
Jo Jo Gunne - Bite Down Hard
Elton John - Jump Up!
Howard Jones - One To One
Rickie Lee Jones - Pirates
Rickie Lee Jones ‎– Rickie Lee Jones
Rickie Lee Jones - Flying Cowboys
Rickie Lee Jones - Girl At Her Volcano
Tom Jones - Live In Las Vegas
Jorma Kaukonen & Vital Parts - Barbeque King
B.B. King - Love Me Tender
Carole King - Welcome Home
Carole King - One To One
The Kinks - State Of Confusion
Mark Lindsay - Arizona
Kenny Loggins - Celebrate Me Home
Loggins & Messina - Full Sail
Loggins & Messina - On Stage
Jackie Lomax ‎– Livin' For Lovin'
Jackie Lomax ‎– Three
Jackie Lomax ‎– Home Is In My Head
Jackie Lomax ‎– Is This What You Want?
Lone Justice - Lone Justice
Lone Justice - Shelter
The Lovin' Spoonful - Hums Of The Lovin' Spoonful
The Mama's And The Papa's - 16 Greatest Hits
The Mama's And The Papa's - Deliver
Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Get Your Rocks Off
Manfred Mann's Earth Band - S/T
Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Angel Station
Dave Mason - Let It Flow
Don McClean - Homeless Brother
Brownie McGhee & Sonny Terry - A Long Way From Home
Christine McVie ‎– The Legendary Christine Perfect Album
Lee Michaels - S/T
Lee Michaels ‎– Barrel
The Steve Miller Band - Brave New World
Steve Miller Band - Number 5
Steve Miller Band - Your Saving Grace
Missing Persons - Rhyme & Reason
Joni Mitchell - Miles Of Aisles
Molly Hatchet - Flirtin' With Disaster
Montrose - Warner Bros Presents
Gary Moore - Corridors Of Power
Mott The Hoople - Mott
Elliot Murphy - Aquashow
Graham Nash - Wild Tales
Stevie Nicks - Bella Donna
The Nylons - Seamless
Laura Nyro ‎– Nested
Laura Nyro - The First Songs
Ted Nugent - Weekend Warriors
Ric Ocasek - Beatitude
Roy Orbison - More Greatest Hits
Peter And Gordon - The Best Of
Grace Pool - S/T
Elvis Presley - His Songs Of Inspiration
Suzi Quatro - Suzi... And Other Four Letter Words
Quicksilver Messenger Service - Shady Grove
Rainbow - Jealous Lover EP
Gerry Rafferty - Can I Have My Money Back?
Gerry Rafferty - North And South
The Rolling Stones - Love You Live
The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed (Cover ONLY)
Romeo Void ‎– Benefactor
Todd Rundgren - Todd (G+)
Todd Rundgren - Back To The Bars
Todd Rundgren - A Capella
Todd Rundgren’s Utopia - Another Live
Todd Rundgren's Utopia - Ra
Bobby Rydell ‎– We Got Love
Mitch Ryder - Naked But Not Dead
Savoy Brown - A Step Further
Boz Scaggs - Down Two Then Left
Seatrain - S/T
Carly Simon - S/T
Carly Simon - Another Passenger
Paul Simon - Hearts And Bones
Simon & Garfunkel - Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme
Simply Red - Picture Book
Siren ‎– All Is Forgiven
Grace Slick And Paul Kantner - Sunfighter
Chris Spedding ‎– The Only Lick I Know
Chris Spedding ‎– Hurt
Chris Spedding ‎– Enemy Within
Chris Spedding ‎– S/T
Chris Spedding - Ready Spedding Go
Spirit - Clear
Split Enz - Time And Tide
Split Enz - Waiata
Spooky Tooth/Pierre Henry - Ceremony
Steppenwolf - Early Steppenwolf
Steppenwolf - Monster
Cat Stevens - Back To Earth
Cat Stevens - Foreigner
Rod Stewart - Blondes Have More Fun
Rod Stewart - Foot Loose & Fancy Free
Rod Stewart - A Night On The Town
Rod Stewart - Every Picture Tells A Story
Sting ‎– The Dream Of The Blue Turtles
Stoneground - Stoneground
James Taylor - JT
James Taylor - Mud Slide Slim
James Taylor - Never Die Young
James Taylor - Dad Loves His Work
Mick Taylor - S/T
10cc - 100cc
Ten Years After ‎– Watt
George Thorogood And The Destroyers - Maverick
Three Dog Night - Naturally
Pete Townshend - Who Came First
Pete Townshend-Ronnie Lane - Rough Mix
Traffic - Welcome To The Canteen
Traffic - Last Exit
Robin Trower - Bridge Of Sighs
Robin Trower - For Earth Below
The Tubes - What Do You Want From Live
The Tubes - Outside Inside
Tommy Tutone - Tommy Tutone-2
Dwight Twilley - Wild Dogs
Uriah Heep - Wonderworld
Uriah Heep - Innocent Victim
Uriah Heep - Fallen Angel
Various - The Anthology Of British Blues
Suzanne Vega - S/T
The Ventures ‎– Knock Me Out!
The Ventures ‎– The Ventures
The Ventures ‎– A Go-Go
Joe Walsh - You Bought It You Name It
Edgar Winter's White Trash - Roadwork
Steve Winwood - S/T
Yankees ‎– High 'N' Inside (Great Private press Power Pop LP)
Neil Young - Sample And Hold 12"
The Youngbloods - The Best Of
Zebra - Zebra
Prog Rock/Art Rock, Etc.
Mike Batt With The London Symphony Orchestra ‎– Schizophonia
Brand X ‎– Moroccan Roll
Brand X - Livestock (Cover VG-)
Keith Emerson - Nighthawks OST
Keith Emerson with The Nice - S/T
Keith Emerson & The Nice - Attention!
Emerson Lake & Palmer - In Concert
Emerson Lake & Palmer - Welcome Back My Friends..
FM - Black Noise
Steve Hackett ‎– Please Don't Touch!
Kansas - Masque
Kansas - Vinyl Confessions
Kansas - Kansas
Kayak - Royal Red Bouncer
Marillion - Brief Encounter
The Moody Blues - This Is The Moody Blues 2LP
The Moody Blues - Seventh Sojourn
The Moody Blues - The Present
The Moody Blues - To Our Childrens Children
Patrick Moraz - The Story Of i
Patrick Moraz - S/T
Patrick Moraz - Human Interface
The Alan Parsons Project - Pyramid
Renaissance - Prologue
Sky - Sky 2LP
Sky ‎– Sky 3
Andy Summers & Robert Fripp - I Advance Masked
Thee Image - Thee Image
Rick Wakeman - Criminal Record
Zon - Astral Projector
Jazz
Airto - Virgin Land (Cover G+)
Ronnie Aldrich - The Romantic Pianos Of
Ronnie Aldrich - The Magic Mood Of
Ronnie Aldrich And His Two Pianos - That Aldrich Feeling
Ronnie Aldrich And His Two Pianos - Where The Sun Is
Mose Allison - Wild Man On The Loose
Nestor Amaral And His Continentals - Brazil
Brian Auger's Oblivion Express ‎– Happiness Heartaches
Harry Babasin And The Jazz Pickers - S/T
Warren Barker And Frank Comstock ‎– TV Guide Top Television Themes
George Benson - Weekend In LA
Earl Bostic - 14 Hits
The Bob Brookmeyer Quartet - Oslo
The Les Brown Story - Greatest Hits In Today's Sound
Barbara Carroll - Plays The Best Of George & Ira Gershwin
June Christy - This Is June Christy!
Michael Colina - Shadow Of Urbano
Jackie Coon - Jazzin' Around
Sammy Davis Jr - California Suite
Martin Denny ‎– Exotic Night
Paul Desmond With The Modern Jazz Quartet ‎– The Only Recorded Performance Of Paul Desmond With The Modern Jazz Quartet
Ella Fitzgerald ‎– Ella A Nice
Roy Fox And His Band - At The Monseigneur Restaurant
Benny Goodman - Francaise
Dave Grusin ‎– A Jazz Version Of The Broadway Hit Subways Are For Sleeping (VG-)
Dave Grusin ‎– Mountain Dance
The Bobby Hackett Quartet Plus Vic Dickenson - S/T
Lionel Hampton - Live At Midem
Lionel Hampton - Hamp's Golden Favorites
Herbie Hancock - Crossings (Cover F)
Wayne Henderson - Big Daddy's Place
Jon Hendricks & Company ‎– Love
Billie Holiday - Volume II
Paul Horn - Inside
Paul Horn & Steven Halpern - Connections
Lena Horne/Harry Belafonte - Porgy And Bess
Jackie & Roy - Time & Love
Milt Jackson, Count Basie - Vol 1
Antonio Carlos Jobim - Love, Strings and Jobim
The Jonah Jones Quartet - A Touch Of Blue
The Jonah Jones Quartet - On The Sunny Side Of The Street
Tom Justice - Justice Makes Love
The Roger Kellaway Cello Quartet - Come To The Meadow
Yank Lawson And Bob Haggart - The World's Greatest Jazz Band
Meade Lux Lewis - Barrel House Piano
Ramsey Lewis - Live At The Savoy
Chuck Mangione - Love Notes
The Manhattan Transfer - Best Of
Herbie Mann - New Mann At Newport
Herbie Mann ‎– Windows Opened
Ann-Margret - Kitty Kallen - Della Reese ‎– 3 Great Girls
Mark-Almond - S/T
Mark-Almond - II
Mark-Almond - Rising
Les McCann ‎– River High, River Low
Carmen McRae - The Greatest Of 2LP
Jay McShann - The Man From Muskogee
Jay McShann ‎– A Tribute To Fats Waller
Glenn Miller - On The Air Vol 1
Glenn Miller - On The Air Vol 2
Red Mitchell - Red Mitchell (VG-)
Wes Montgomery - California Dreaming
Wes Montgomery - The Best Of Vol 2
Turk Murphy's Jazz Band - San Francisco Jazz
Turk Murphy's Jazz Band - San Francisco Memories
David Newman - Newmanism
Jimmy Noon & Earl Hines - At The Apex Club
Red Norvo, Teddy Wilson, Gene Krupa.. - Jazz Concert
Claus Ogerman/Michael Brecker - Cityscape
Billy Oskay And Michael O Domhnail - Nightnoise
Oscar Peterson And Joe Pass ‎– Porgy & Bess
Oscar Peterson And The Trumpet Kings ‎– Jousts
André Previn, Gerry Mulligan, Carmen McRae ‎– Performing Music From The Subterraneans - Original Sound Track Album (Cover VG-)
Spike Robinson ‎– The Gershwin Collection
Linda Ronstadt & The Nelson Riddle Orchestra ‎– What's New
George Russell & The Living Time Orchestra - The African Game
Pee Wee Russell - S/T
David Sanborn - As We Speak
Diane Schuur - Schuur Thing
Diane Schuur - Timeless
Bud Shank ‎– Heritage
Bud Shank/Shorty Rogers - California Concert
George Shearing / Jim Hall ‎– First Edition
The George Shearing Quintet With Dakota Staton - In The Night
Bobby Short ‎– Bobby Short Is K-Ra-Zy For Gershwin
Bobby Short ‎– Celebrates Rodgers & Hart
Bessie Smith - The Bessie Smith Story Vol III w/ Joe Smith & Fletcher Henderson's Hot Six
Lonnie Liston Smith - Love Is The Answer (Cover G)
Dakota Staton ‎– The Late, Late Show
Art Tatum / James P. Johnson ‎– Art Tatum Masterpieces Volume II And James P. Johnson Plays Fats Waller
Clark Terry ‎– Ain't Misbehavin'
Clark Terry And Zoot Sims ‎– Mother------! Mother -----------!! A Jazz Symphony
The Clark Terry Five ‎– Memories Of Duke
Joe Turner - Effervescent
Various - Round Midnight OST
Sarah Vaughan ‎– Duke Ellington Song Book One
Sarah Vaughan ‎– I Love Brazil!
Grover Washington Jr - Live At The Bijou
Lou Watters' Yerba Buena Jazz Band - S/T
Zaccarias And His Orchestra - Dance The Bossa Nova
Soul/R&B/Funk/Disco/Gospel
Marian Anderson With Franz Rupp ‎– Spirituals
Marian Anderson - The Lady From Philadelphia
Automatic Man - S/T
Blue Magic - Thirteen Blue Magic Lane
Tyrone Brunson - Fresh
Bus Boys - Minimum Wage Rock & Roll
Chocolate Milk - We're All In This Together
Commodores - Natural High
The Crusaders - Chain Reaction
The Crusaders - Crusaders I
The Crusaders - At Their Best
Godfrey Daniel ‎– Take A Sad Song...
Earth Wind & Fire - Electric Universe
Fats Domino ‎– Sings Million Record Hits
Fats Domino - Twistin' The Stomp (Cover VG-)
Dobie Gray - Drift Away
Al Green - I'll Rise Again
Jester Hairston And His Chorus ‎– A Profile Of Negro Life in Song
J.O.B. Orquestra ‎– Open The Doors To Your Heart
Quincy Jones ‎– The Dude
Kongas ‎– Africanism
O.B. McClinton - Album No. 2
The Persuasions - Comin' At Ya
The Pointer Sisters - Energy
Lea Roberts - Lady Lea
Smokey Robinson - Yes It's You Lady
Diana Ross - Lady Sings The Blues 2LP
Diana Ross - Baby It's Me
Diana Ross - An Evening With
Diana Ross & Lionel Richie - Endless Love
Diana Ross & The Supremes - Anthology 3LP
Silver Convention - S/T
The Softones - S/T
Dakota Staton ‎– Ms. Soul
Dakota Staton - Confession'
Dakota Staton - Madame Foo-Foo
Dakota Staton - I Want A Country Man
Donna Summer - A Love Trilogy
Donna Summer - She Works Hard For The Money
Donna Summer - Donna Summer
The Supremes - A Bit Of Liverpool (Cover VG-)
The Sylvers - The Best Of
Marlo Thomas And Friends - Free To Be... You And Me
War - Deliver The Word
Dionne Warwick - Friends
Nancy Wilson ‎– This Mother's Daughter
Nancy Wilson - From Broadway With Love
Nancy Wilson - Who Can I Turn To
Nancy Wilson - For Once In My Life
Bobby Womack - So Many Rivers
Folk/Country/Southern Rock
A Goodly Company Of Dulcimer Artists ‎– Pastime With Good Company - Dulcimer Music For The Christmas Season
Joan Baez - Recently
Joan Baez - David's Album
Joan Baez - Any Day Now
Bobby Bare - Hard Time Hungrys
Black Oak Arkansas - High On The Hog
Black Oak Arkansas - Keep The Faith
J.D. Blackfoot - Southbound And Gone
Glen Campbell - The Artistry Of 2LP
Harry Chapin - Heads & Tails
Kevin Coyne ‎– Marjory Razor Blade
Malcolm Dalglish & Grey Larsen ‎– The First Of Autumn
The Charlie Daniels Band - Whiskey
John Denver - I Want To Live
John Denver - Autograph
John Denver - Whose Garden Was This
John Denver - Spirit
John Denver - Farewell Andromeda
Dueling Banjos - Deliverance
Nelson Eddy - Stour-Hearted Men
Joe Ely - Musta Notta Gotta Lotta
Norman Greenbaum - Petaluma
Nanci Griffith - Storms
Nanci Griffith - Little Love Affairs
Nanci Griffith - One Fair Summer Evening
Nanci Griffith - Once In A Very Blue Moon
Nanci Griffith - Poet In My Window
Nanci Griffith - There's A Light Beyond These Woods
Nanci Griffith - Lone Star State Of Mind
Nanci Griffith - The Last Of The True Believers
Arlo Guthrie - S/T
Arlo Guthrie - Amigo
Tim Hardin ‎– Suite For Susan Moore And Damion - We Are - One, One, All In One
Burl Ives - More Folksongs By 10"
Waylon Jennings And The Kimberleys - S/T (VG-)
The Kingston Trio - The Last Month Of The Year
The Kingston Trio - Hungry i
The Kingston Trio - Somethin' Else
The Kingston Trio - String Along With
The Kingston Trio - At Large
Leo Kottke - Leo Kottke
Leo Kottke - 1971-1976
Sleepy LaBeef - It Ain't What You Eat It's The Way How You Chew It
k.d. lang ‎– The Making Of Shadowland
Peter Lang - Back To The Wall
Gordon Lightfoot - Summertime Dream
Mama's Pride ‎– Mama's Pride
Reba McEntire - Greatest Hits
Mother Earth - Living With The Animals
Tracy Nelson - S/T
The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - All The Good Times
The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - The Rest Of The Dream
The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band - Ricochet
Outlaws - Ghost Riders
Peter Paul And Mary - S/T
Jim Post ‎– Slow To 20
Mason Proffit ‎– Wanted
Redwing - Redwing
The Roches ‎– Keep On Doing
Kenny Rogers And The First Edition ‎– Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town
Linda Ronstadt & The Stone Poneys - Stoney End
Linda Ronstadt - Hand Sown Home Grown
Linda Ronstadt - Greatest Hits
Linda Ronstadt - S/T
Linda Ronstadt - Different Drum
Linda Ronstadt - Silk Purse
Tom Rush - Tom Rush
John B Sebastian - S/T
John Stewart - California Bloodlines
The Stone Poneys Feat. Linda Ronstadt - S/T
Various - White Mansions - A Tale From The American Civil War 1861-1865 (Jessi Coulter, Waylon Jennings, John Dillon, Steve Cash)
Wet Willie - The Wetter The Better
Hank Williams Jr - Country Shadows (Cover G+)
Jesse Colin Young ‎– The Soul Of A City Boy
Jesse Colin Young - Love On The Wing
Jesse Colin Young - Light Shine
Jesse Colin Young - Songbird
Jesse Colin Young - Song For Juli
New Age/Ambient
William Ackerman ‎– Conferring With The Moon
Darol Anger - Barbara Higbie ‎– Tideline
Scott Cossu - Wind Dance
George Cromarty - Wind In The Heather
Alex de Grassi - Southern Exposure
Steven Halpern - Georgia Kelly - Ancient Echoes
Steven Halpern - Prelude
Mannheim Steamroller - Fresh Aire III
Billy Oskay And Mīcheāl Ō Domhnaill ‎– Nightnoise
Shadowfax ‎– The Dreams Of Children
Synergy ‎– Audion
Vangelis - Opera Sauvage
Vangelis - Albedo 0.39
Various - Soul Of The Machine -- The Windham Hill Sampler Of New Electronic Music
Andreas Vollenweider ‎– ... Behind The Gardens - Behind The Wall - Under The Tree ...
Paul Winter ‎– Canyon
Hawaiian/Pacific
Alfred Apaka - Aloha Apaka
The Hilo Hawaiians ‎– Honeymoon In Hawaii
Bill Kaiwa - Paniolo Country Western
Soundtracks
Beauty and The Beast / Of Love and Hope (Music and Poetry)
The Blue Lagoon
Buck Rogers In The 25th Century (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
The Color Purple
Dirty Dancing In Concert
Earthquake
Electra Glide In Blue
Fame
Jesus Christ Superstar
Light Of Day
Lisztomania
The Man From Snowy River
The Music Of Cosmos
The Natural (Randy Newman)
Pippin
The Razor’s Edge
The Rocky Horror Show: Original Australian Cast Album
Shock Treatment Cast ‎– Shock Treatment / Overture
Silent Running
Stand By Me
Superman (Cover VG-)
Times Square
To Sir, With Love
The London Symphony Orchestra And Chambre Choir ‎– Tommy / As Performed By The London Symphony Orchestra And Chambre Choir With Guest Soloists Boxset
Urban Cowboy
Various ‎– Fonzie Favorites
Comedy/Spoken Word
The Firesign Theatre - I Think We're All Bozos On This Bus
The Firesign Theatre - Waiting For The Electrician..
The Firesign Theatre - The Giant Rat Of Sumatra
Dick Gregory - At Kent State 2LP
Tom Lehrer - Songs By Tom Lehrer
The Monty Python Instant Record Collection
National Lampoon - White Album
Orson Welles - The Begatting Of The President
Children's
Maurice Evans Reads A. A. Milne ‎– Winnie-The-Pooh
Maurice Evans Reads A. A. Milne ‎– More Winnie-The-Pooh
Pete's Dragon - Disney
The Rescuers (Disney)
Miscellaneous
Boniface Bonnie ‎– Night & Daylight Yeibichei (Native American)
Bonzo Dog Band ‎– Beast Of The Bonzos
Vasant Rai - Spring Flowers
submitted by creature_fear12 to VinylCollectors [link] [comments]


2020.11.21 07:55 rharmelink Frndly Subscription

Wow. I signed up for Frndly less than a month ago, just before the Hallmark Christmas season started. I got the $9.99 plan, so I can use their unlimited DVR and have the recordings available for 9 months.
What I've recorded so far (Hallmark channels and others):
submitted by rharmelink to HallmarkMovies [link] [comments]


2020.11.20 23:37 Terhin Old Bonegrinder - Am I too evil?

Hi all!
First some backstory...
My party of five tasted the free pastry Morgantha gave them when they arrived at Barovia Village, and ever since they knew they were addicted, they have been very suspicious of Morgantha (aka "Granny").
Last session they arrived at Old Bonegrinder, and decided to check the windmill out because they saw the tracks from the pastry wagon go up the road there. They did not take the hint from the raven screaming at them. The bard just cast a vicious mockery at it on sight, so it flew away. Ophalia opened the door, but was hesitent to invite them inside because "Bella was upstairs working", but after some RP she let them in, and asked if they wanted some pie. Morgantha was there too, and warned them not to go upstairs and disturb Bella, but Ireena (one of the PC's) did anyways. I asked them to roll initiative, and Morgantha tried to use hold person on her, but failed. This started a combat, and that's where we left off last session.
The PC's know the hags are evil beings, as the Cleric found out that the bones in the first floor is actually small human bones.
Then to my plans for the next session (assuming they don't run for it, or come up with some very clever plans):
  1. The PCs have no chance of defeating the hags in combat, so I plan to incapacitate them and bring all but one or two down to 0 hp (but the hags will let them stabilize their friends...).
  2. The hags will bring three of the PCs (the conscious ones + one at 0 hp) to the second floor and bind them to the wooden shaft. The other two PCs will be brought to the third floor, where they will be thrown in the cages. The hags will also seize all the PCs equipment now.
  3. Morgantha will bring Myrtle down to the 2nd floor, lay her on the millstone and tell one of the conscious PCs that he has to kill Myrtle, or his friend dies (the one with 0 hp). Bella puts her claws at the unconscious PC's neck and cackles (and ofc kills the PC if they don't obey, though he will then be revived by a dark gift later)
  4. After Myrtle is dead (either by the PCs or by Morgantha), she skins her, take out her guts, devours his heart and parts her flesh from her bones. She then forces the PCs to operate the millstone so Myrtles bones can be grinded to flour.
  5. Morgantha then sings a happy baking song while making delicious pies from Myrtles bones and flesh. The PCs can smell the sweet pastry from the kitchen while they're upstairs, and after a while Morgantha comes up with freshly baked pies which she demands that the awake PCs taste (if they refuse, she kills the PC with 0 hp).
  6. After this torment, Morgantha finally tells the PCs that she's had a great time, thanks them for their visit and offers them to leave, though not without leaving something behind. They each get to choose one of the bargains described in u/dragnacarta's reloaded series. I give each, PC except the one that potentially killed Myrtle, a choice between one high value, or one medium and one low value - fitted for their PC. My bard, for example, will be asked if he's willing to offer his voice, or his tounge and his courage.
  7. After the PCs have made the deal, Morgantha wish them a safe travel to Vallaki, and says she hope they will come by later. The deals will be magically stored in vials as described in u/dragnacarta's guide.
  8. The PC who killed Myrtle will from now be targeted by Morganthas nightmare haunting.
So my question is basically if the punishment is too harsh, so that the players will be bored by such a setback. I'm thinking the keepers of the feathers might be able to at least break some of the vials to break the deals later. And maby bring some light items, like focuses, back to them.

PS: Myrtle is in my game from the orphanage in Vallaki, where he was taken by Bella after playing with Arabell a week before the PCs get to vallaki. When the PCs first met Morgantha she was wearing Myrtle's mother's ring (a golden ring inscribed "Drilvia Rilsky), which is the only thing Myrtle has left from her mother, who died a year ago while traveling from Barovia village to Vallaki. Ireena stole Myrtle's ring from Morgantha when they met her again on their way to Tser Pool, though she doesn't know who it belonged to yet (one of the children at the Orphanage will point it out when they see Ireenas ring).
submitted by Terhin to CurseofStrahd [link] [comments]


2020.11.20 04:48 mynameistoo_common My Rating for BTS' Korean Discography: Observations and Commentary

https://imgur.com/a/XGz9CNt
In anticipation of BE, I relistened to BTS' full Korean discography and individually rated each song and averaged the ratings to find the full album rating.
DISCLAIMER: Obviously all of this is my opinion, and none of you are beholden to take any of this as objective fact.
For full disclosure, I have felt less and less connected to BTS' music for the past three years, although I still like them very well and always check out new music they release. I think this makes sense because I became a fan of BTS in 2016 when their music style was very different than it is now, and new fans joined because of the music style they have now.
Here are my commentary and observations for each album:
  1. 2 Kool 4 Skool (7.25): I found this a pretty strong debut album. No More Dream (9) DOES have cringy lyrics and costumes, but the sentiment it expresses is clearly heartfelt, and even then, you can see the strengths BTS were developing as performers. Like (8) was also a very good song and a great example of BTS' hip hop style lyricism. The other songs I found middling or okay, but still enjoyable.
  2. O!RUL8,2? (7.5): This album was slightly stronger than their debut. Most of the tracks hovered at the 6-7 range, but Attack on Bangtan (10) and Paldongsan (9) are two massive bops, and just fun, earnest, slightly campy hip hop, which I personally feel is the style BTS are strongest in.
  3. Skool Luv Affair (7.41): A strong album. I was actually surprised the rating is lower than the last album when I go back to songs on this one much more. Most of the tracks hovered around a 7.5, but two tracks (Like and Miss Right) brought the rating down a bit. No 10s on this one, but Intro: Skool Luv Affair (8), Jump (8), Boy In Luv (8.5) and Cypher Pt 2 (8.5) hold up the fort remarkably well.
  4. Dark&Wild (7.79): BTS' first full album really doesn't get the love it deserves. While half of the songs hovered around a respectable 7, the other half - Danger (8), War of Hormone (9 - no I don't really care about how problematic it is. I don't understand Korean and its a goddamn bop), Let Me Know (8), Rain (8.5), Cypher Pt 3 (9), Look Here (9) and Second Grade (9) are oft-forgotten highlights in BTS' discography. BTS were comfortable in this fun, intense, sometimes cheesy hip hop style, but unfortunately this style yielded few GP hits (although their album sales were very respectable and their fanbase was growing), so unfortunately this album is a good bye to their pop-hip hop style. Don't feel too bad, because their magnum opus is next.
  5. HYYH (8.51): I'm grouping the three parts together because the final chapter combines most of the songs to create the full story. Also, that's how I was introduced to it. This album is one of the best pop albums period. It's chock full of highlights: beautiful production, great lyricism, amazing visuals, and earnest sentiment. This was the introduction to the HYYH universe, back when it was still intriguing and visually compelling, rather than overblown and tiresome. I felt that both rap line and vocal line were well highlighted in the series. Only 4/17 songs were rated at below an 8 (and they got either 7 or 7.5 so they were still good). I Need U, Run, Dope, Silver Spoon are perfect 10s. Other highlights (out of many) include Young Forever, Whalien 52, and Ma City.
  6. Wings + You Never Walk Alone repackage (7.86): Not quite the heights of the HYYH series, but still a phenomenal album experience. I was introduced to BTS with Blood Sweat and Tears (10) and I still think it's their best comeback in terms of vocals, concept, styling, and choreography. Every move they made in this era was perfect. The best song on this album (and the best song released by a BTS member imo) is Lie (11/10). The pain and rawness in Jimin's voice, expressed by his choreography is unreal. Just perfect. First Love (9) and Boy Meets Evil (9) are Suga and J-Hope at their best. Overall, 10/18 songs got around a 6.5-7.5 (which means that I found the songs enjoyable to some extent while listening, but I'm unlikely to listen to them again of my own volition). The other 8 produced some of the best songs, rightfully heralded, in BTS' discography, including Spring Day (9.5) and Outro: Wings (8.5).
  7. Love Yourself: HER (6.25): This album's rating was mostly dragged down by DNA (2), which is the only one of BTS' songs I actively hate. While I thought the concept of Love Yourself was a great one to do, I didn't find that this album really plumbed its depths. I think some of the rating was influenced by my disappointment, because I KNOW that BTS can bring a concept because they'd been doing it for most of their history. I enjoyed about half the album, with Intro: Serendipity (8), Pied Piper (8.5), and Outro: Her (8) the three songs I still go back to.
  8. Love Yourself: TEAR (6.82): The lyricism definitely improved in this LY outing... but the thing is, I'm not a Korean speaker and I'm not a fan of some of the auditory choices made in this album. I actually dislike the whole westernization debate since I believe that music and genres are fluid and shouldn't be kept in a box, but I actually feel like LY onward, the AUDIO (not the lyrics) sound less BTS. I don't know, but I think the production was stronger and SOLD the song more when it was in-house instead of worked on by Western producers who didn't really understand the music. Most of the album was middling to me, but Fake Love (8), Anpanman (9), and Outro: Tear (8) are highlights.
  9. Love Yourself: ANSWER (7): I feel like this rating is a bit of a cop-out since there were only a couple new songs on this album, but yeah, the same criticisms about the LY era still apply. While the album got a 7, the only song I go back to is Epiphany (8), which perfectly highlighted Jin's voice. I don't really like Jin's tone (I find it too nasal and strained-sounding) in BTS songs, but this is the exception that proves the rule. He sells the shit out of the song (and looks gorgeous in the video). Even though I can't understand Korean, I get a complete picture of what he's singing about just from the emotion in his voice and the production highlighting it.
  10. Map of the Soul: Persona (6.39): Also didn't really feel this album. Boy with Luv (7.75) is a fun, cheesy pop song that I bop to when it comes on, but I don't ever really seek it out. No other highlights. I think this is the sleekest and electronic-est BTS have gone. I'm not castigating them for their choices since it's obviously been working out for them, but other BTS albums felt kind of like a familiar hug with songs that could touch your heart without even understanding the lyrics, but this one felt coldly well-produced and distant, even when it was trying to be close.
  11. Map of the Soul:7 (6.64): Black Swan (8.5) and Louder than Bombs (9) did the best job at marrying the old BTS warmth and lyricism with their new electronic, autotuned production with genuine emotion coming out in both tracks. I wasn't really feeling any of the other songs.
* I didn't include Dynamite since it isn't in Korean and it's unfair to compare a single song to full comebacks, but it's a solid 7 if anyone is curious.
submitted by mynameistoo_common to kpopthoughts [link] [comments]


2020.11.19 01:04 TeaAndTerror I'm a Supermarket Supervisor - The Locals are a Little... Odd

Hello everyone! My daughter told me about Reddit and about all the people on here and she told me about nosleep and the stories that people share. She suggested I download the app because she knows how much I love reading, I did and have been going through them all. It's made me think about my life a lot, about all the odd little things that happen in my town. So I thought I would tell you all a bit about it, considering I don't have much to do lately.
My name is Marsha (Lucy told me not to give out any solid details) and I'm thirty five. I live in a small town in England and that's probably all I should say, considering how good the kids are nowadays with technology (no, I'm not a technophobe, I can do most things fine). I work in a supermarket and have done for the past fifteen years. Now, I know some of you would think that boring, living in the same place I was born and working in the same job for so long. But honestly, it's what I always wanted. I wanted a nice husband, a nice house, a few kids and just a mundane job to keep me from going batty. Luckily for me, I got all of that. Lucy is my eldest, she's fifteen, then there's Tommy who's eleven and Jake who is nine. My husband is Sean, and we've been together since I was sixteen - married for ten years. We've had our ups and downs like anyone else, but we've always found ways to work through them and are still going strong.
But you're not interested in my life, just the stories, so I'll get down to it.
If anyone has ever worked in retail, you'll know that you get familiar with the regulars. There's a few of them that come into where I work, like clockwork, and most of them are sweet as pie. There's Bargain Betty (I don't know all of their real names and if I did, I wouldn't use them. So you'll have nicknames instead) who comes in every Monday and Friday, looking for the leftover bargains from the weekend. She's a little slip of a woman but my God, she's quick. She can push a trolley from one end of the store to the other at record speed, especially if there's a bargain to be had. She's nice enough, but can get quite snippy if there aren't many bargains.
There's also Reduction Rob, a tall man with short white hair that always has this military air about him. I would say he was in his mid-sixties, considering he still seems pretty capable. He comes in every single day at 7pm on the dot, waiting for the reductions (all the fresh food that expires that day which gets reduced by a certain percentage). Now, Rob seems nice enough, but he's always a wild card. He's never been rude to me, but that's because I won't take any shit from him. But he's been known to lose his temper at the little'uns from time to time. And by little'uns, I mean the younger kids that work for us over the summer. He actually made one of our girls cry once because he was literally hovering over her and she was getting nervous while she was trying to reduce stuff and he shouted at her for taking so long. She came into the staff room while I was having a cuppa, crying, and I marched right out after she told me. I found Rob and told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever talks to a member of staff like that again then he would be barred from the shop permanently. He looked sheepish, and apologised. I haven't heard of him doing anything since.
I could go on and on about all the oddballs that shop here; Milly and Molly, Seductive Sam, Nutty Norma, Chatty Charlie… but that would take a while. The person I really want to talk about is Bouquet Ben.
He started coming to the shop about five years ago, and I remember it so vividly because he was wearing a fluorescent jacket. Not a work vest, but a full on blazer that was neon orange. Honestly, I couldn't take my eyes off him because he was practically glowing under the shop lights. He had a mop of dark brown curls and he was near enough skipping around the shop. He picked up our most expensive bouquet of roses (twelve quid, if you're interested) and a box of chocolates. I was on the check-outs when he paid, and he was absolutely buzzing. I can still remember his smile - so wide, so stretched that I remember thinking how his cheek must hurt. I barely said hello before he announced that he was finally going on a date tonight with a girl he'd loved for months.
I congratulated him, of course, put his items through and wished him the best of luck. I remember that he'd stopped briefly at the end of the till, and that smile had dropped like a sack of shit. His eyes were dark brown, and in the shadow of his hair they looked black. They fixed on me so attentively, so intensely, that I remember holding my breath. Just as I was going to ask what was wrong, the weird look on his face vanished and was replaced with that aching smile.
"Thank you!" He beamed, before he was gone, skipping out the door. Yes, actually skipping.
I didn't think much of it again until three weeks later, when he came across my till again. I hardly recognised him, because now he was wearing all black and had his hood up. I made the mistake of looking into his face only to be met by that intense stare again. This time, it wasn't replaced, and he answered the question that I never asked.
"She didn't like me," he said solemnly, and even though I was on edge, I still managed to express my condolences.
"There's plenty of girls out there," I tried. "I'm sure you'll find the one."
His face softened a little bit after that, and his eyes flickered over my face for a few moments.
"You would look good as a blonde."
I was so stunned by the statement that I couldn't respond. Not like he gave me much of a chance - he was already walking out the door.
Now, just one instance of creepy is forgettable. I've had much worse for a lot longer, so it should have just been brushed off. But Bouquet Ben became a regular. Every few months he would come in, wearing some ridiculous suit of some kind, smiling that stretched smile, and buy a bouquet of roses and some chocolates. Then, a few weeks later, he would come back all dressed in black, buy a tub of ice cream and leave again.
I dreaded it, honestly. Mostly because he seemed to always come in when I was on the check-outs, and I only do one shift a week on them. I'm a supervisor, so I'm usually supervising the shop, but I save Wednesdays for check-outs - mostly because I enjoy working without the responsibility.
The past year, he's come in every three months. Exactly three months. And then he's back exactly three weeks later. You probably think it's sad that I actually worked it out and jotted down the dates, but believe me when I say this guy is creepy. And he always tries to initiate conversations and pry about my life. I made it very clear that I had a husband, because I mention it every other sentence. I was hoping to put him off, but to be honest, he's never come across as flirty. He's never tried to pick me up or ask me out. If anything, he's polite and courteous, and I've told myself a thousand times that he's just… different.
I ended up setting a reminder on my phone, every three months, and then three weeks after that. And for the past year, my phone hasn't been wrong.
"Hey Marsha," says Gillian, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turn my head as I slide the box of eggs onto the empty shelf.
"Hey Gill," I say distractedly, straightening myself up as Gill gives me a wide grin. She's a petite little thing, in her early twenties. The sweetest of people, she's had a rough life. Abusive parents, abusive boyfriend, teen pregnancy. She's finally getting her feet on the ground though, studying for her hairdressing qualifications and in a relationship with a good man who loves her little boy like his own.
"Are you still okay to come round later?" She asks, and I blink for a moment. Then I snap my fingers as I remember.
"Yeah, yes of course, love. Did you need me to bring the dye?"
Gill waves her hands, dismissing the idea.
"No, you're doing me a favour. A lot of people won't let a trainee do their hair."
I shrug, because honestly, hair is just hair in my opinion. I've been the same shade of box brown for years, and I only dye it to get rid of the greys.
"It's fine, love. I'll be round about five?"
Her smile widens and I can't help but return it.
Once my shift finishes, I make sure I take out twenty quid from the cashpoint. She doesn't want money, but I'm not letting her do all the work for nothing.
I get to her house at five, and she welcomes me with a glass of cold pinot and a pizza. I can't say that we’re particularly close, but the few hours I spend with her are honestly a lot of fun. She does my hair, we chat, her little boy is an absolute sweetheart and her boyfriend even went to the shop to grab us another bottle of wine.
I'm not sure if it's the wine, or Gill's lack of experience, but… my hair comes out blonde. And not like, a light brown. This is bleach blonde. And it's hilarious. She feels awful, but it's getting late and I tell her that she can fix my hair next week or something. My husband laughs his arse off when I get home, telling me I look like Britney Spears before slapping my bum singing Hit Me Baby One More Time.
I get a few laughs the next morning as well as I sit down for my Wednesday check-out shift. I give as good as I get, and get a surprising amount of compliments from the regulars. So much so that by the time I have my break and head into the lockers, I'm considering staying blonde.
My phone is dead because I forgot to put it on charge before I passed out last night, so I have a quick bite and get back to my shift.
It's nearly four when he walks in, and I know it's him, because he's wearing that same exact neon jacket from the first time I met him. My heart drops. I missed the notification - I would have taken my break later.
I watch as he picks up the flowers, before disappearing down and aisle for chocolates. And there's absolutely no one waiting by the time he's back, setting them down on my till. I scan them through, making damn sure to keep my eyes down, but he makes a small noise and I look up instinctively. He's watching me.
Not like the first night. Not like any other time. It's like those dark eyes are burning holes in my forehead, and his smile is twisted and crooked. I can't breathe again, but this is a different kind of frozen. This was pure, burning fear setting alight to my every nerve. Any small movement would shatter my resolve and I would go screaming through the shop to get away. I'm not sure if any of you have ever felt fear like that. It's debilitating.
"I like your hair," he says after a moment, still watching me with eyes burning black. I don't move to respond. I don't even press the till when he presents his card. I don't do anything but stand there until he lets out a small chuckle and walks away.
When he's gone through the doors, I bolt. At first I think I'm running to leave, but instead I'm skidding to a halt in the Health and Beauty aisle. I grab a box of brown hair dye and march into the small disabled toilet.
At this point, I don't care. I would have taken a pair of scissors to my hair if it didn't make me look like I've lost my mind. All my instincts are screaming at me, and I shuck my work top to the corner before setting about smearing the dye on my head. My hands are trembling so violently that I get dye everywhere, but I don't care. The way he looked at me… the way he mentioned my hair. Our first meeting plays over and over in my head.
You would look good as a blonde.
I'm in there for about an hour, because it's not easy washing your hair in a little sink. I clean up as best as I can, and I get a lot of enquiries when I return. They see I'm spooked, but I can't explain. They'd all think me crazy.
I start to think I'm crazy, too, because he doesn't come back for the rest of my shift. I can't quite calm down, either, so when I'm walking to my car, I'm still on high alert. I press the button on my keys, reaching for the door.
"Hello, Marsha."
I gasp loudly, jumping away from the noise as I turn.
There he stands, in his creepy neon glory. He's smiling that twisted smile and holding the flowers out to me. Has he been waiting for me?
But then he really looks, and his face drops. It's not just intensity now, its anger. A blinding rage that colours his pale cheeks.
"What did you do?" He hisses, and my heart jumps into my throat. My body is pumping with adrenaline and all I can do is wrench my door open.
"Stay away from me!" I screech, getting into the car and slamming the door shut as he lunges for it. I lock the door and he's shouting, his eyes wild and spittle welling in the corner of his mouth.
"You ruined it! You ruined it!" He screams as I scramble to put the keys in the ignition. "You were the one and you ruined it!"
The car starts with a loud roar and I tear out of the carpark, terror fuelling my speed. I don't slow down until I'm home, and when I get there, I break down into Sean's arms.
Needless to say, Bouquet Ben is banned from the shop. My manager wanted me to press charges, but I just want to forget. It's been three months since he's been in the store, and my phone reminded me of his impending arrival yesterday. He didn't come, thank God.
But I'll never forget the fury in those eyes. It was like looking into the pits of hell.
Nutty Norma
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2020.11.17 19:42 subtledrama Is The Crown true to life? A royal expert’s analysis of season 4, ep. 6-10

Is The Crown true to life? A royal expert’s analysis of season 4, ep. 6-10 An episode-by-episode guide by the royal historian Hugo Vickers, taken from his book The Crown Dissected. Copied from https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/is-the-crown-true-to-life-season-4-episodes-hwxzkdsm3#
ep 1-5 https://www.reddit.com/TheCrownNetflix/comments/jvsyf9/is_the_crown_true_to_life_a_royal_experts/
Episode 6 Terra Nullius (Nobody’s Land)
Off we go to Australia to pick through what was in reality a highly successful Antipodean royal tour undertaken by the Prince and Princess of Wales in March 1983. They visited both Australia and New Zealand, and in a move from accustomed practice they took baby Prince William (born the previous June) with them.
The episode opens with Bob Hawke becoming Prime Minister (as indeed he did on 11 March 1983) and thus involved with the visit instead of the outgoing PM, Malcolm Fraser. Princess Margaret warns that there are problems in the Wales marriage – hints of bulimic behaviour. Meanwhile it is made clear that Prince Charles is whooping it up with Camilla – a jokey scene at Badminton, in the heart of hunting country.
The real Bob Hawke was an avowed republican, but he did not campaign for that during his premiership, possibly because there was no appetite or political advantage to be had. He had a good relationship with the Queen, partly based on a mutual passion for horse racing. He was respectful of the Queen and would never have expressed himself in the foul language put into his mouth in this episode.
The stance of this episode is that it was to be an important tour for Prince Charles. Waiting for him with jaws open was Hawke, reckoning that a visit from this ‘jug-eared bonehead’ would finally stir the Australians into severing links with Britain to become a republic – to finally escape ‘subjugation by mother Crown’.
The Prince hopes to shine, but it all gets off to a bad start – Diana is evidently at loggerheads with Edward Adeane (who interestingly suggests that the royal couple have ‘an audience with the Prime Minister’ and not the other way round), she talks of where the baby will be, needing stability. Apparently she will not see baby William for two whole weeks. Of course, in real life, she would have known the whole programme well in advance and would never have insisted on making last-minute alterations. Nor did she need to.
The Waleses were based at Woomargama, in New South Wales, the home of the well-known philanthropist Gordon Darling between 20 March and 17 April. It was halfway between Sydney and Melbourne and handy for Canberra. They were able to fly anywhere from Albury airport and be back there each night. They were not separated from baby William, which was the whole point of them staying there. So no programme alterations.
The Darling family might be surprised to see their substantial sheep station depicted as a colonial villa in the desert. The real Woomargama had six bedrooms, four bathrooms and three large living rooms, was decorated ‘straight from the pages of Home Beautiful’, hung with magnificent Australian paintings and surrounded by rolling English gardens with roses, pastures beyond, and boasted a small lake. There were a number of other housing possibilities on the estate.
In this episode, Prince Charles mocks a shepherd’s pie ‘unimaginatively’ served up at the sheep station. Why? In real life, they had their own cook on the tour, Mervyn Wycherley, and the Darlings employed a fine chef. Provisions came in from Arthur Butt, who ran a well-known gourmet smokehouse at Young St Albury, was famous for his smoked trout and supplied culinary delights to clients as far away as Switzerland. As it happens, in real life, the entourage in attendance on the Waleses – there were 23 of them – did themselves proud on Mr Darling’s cellar, and it was a shame that the real Prince of Wales never wrote him a thank-you letter. Diana did. Baby William did indeed take his first steps at Woomargama.
In this episode, the Waleses begin with a bungled press conference, in which she is a ‘thicko’, calling Ayers Rock ‘Ayers Dock’, and she throws wobblies. But one evening, at Woomargama, it all turns round on the flick of a coin. After a serious row, Prince Charles says he loves her and that he is the luckiest man in the world. He even blocks a call from Camilla Parker Bowles, the Waleses dance together, she starts to shine, the public adore her and finally Bob Hawke tells Prince Charles that the Princess has made them both look like ‘chumps’ and how disappointed he is that her popularity has put the lid on the republican mission on which he was set.
This ends with a deeply resentful Prince of Wales bemoaning the fact that the tour was meant to focus on him – ‘my tour’ – and Diana miserable, with her head down the loo again. On their return to Britain, he goes straight to Highgrove and she to London. She visits the Queen to complain that her husband resents her, and the Queen bites her head off for enjoying her own success rather too much and playing excessively to the gallery. The theme of this episode is a cold Queen, heartless and dismissive, shocked when Diana gives her an unwelcome hug.
The Queen, Queen Mother and Princess Margaret discuss all this, the Queen Mother dismissing Diana as an immature little girl, while Princess Margaret (played throughout the series as one wounded by the royal system) warns that in the worst scenario, Diana will break.
So where is the truth? I refer to Dimbleby, who was given access to contemporary documents for his biography. This was a long and arduous tour. The Princess had been depressed the year before. She had been given to binge-eating. She was suspicious of Camilla Parker Bowles. She saw a therapist. Dimbleby wrote: ‘It was not for lack of effort on the part of either of them that she was able to escape only intermittently from a pattern of behaviour that steadily wore away the insubstantial foundations on which their marriage had been constructed.’
However, Australia was a memorable experience. They loved Woomargama, and enjoyed time alone together with baby William. There was adoration for ‘Lady Di’. It was the Prince who found the tour a strain, not least because he was concerned at the effect this was having on his wife. She was variously elated and exhausted, but was able to rely on him for support. In consequence there were no black moods. He described the excessive reaction to her as ‘a circus’ but equally praised her for keeping him going when he felt gloomy. So, rather different from what we are shown here.
We know that, in time, Prince Charles came to resent that people seemed only interested in his wife, what she was wearing, and that in consequence no one reported his speeches. It was hard for him to compete, and to get his messages across.
Episode 7 The Hereditary Principle
As should by now be evident, The Crown focuses on the dark side when they can find it. This episode brings in the two sad Bowes-Lyon cousins who were put into a state mental hospital and forgotten about. The episode is based on an entirely false premise which is cunningly delivered and then refuted at the end. Meanwhile it is an opportunity for the film-makers to explore the unhappiness of Princess Margaret and have her expressing sympathy for her poor cousins. And they give the Queen Mother the most shocking lines of this particular series, ricocheting away from Morgan’s professed determination to stick to the truth.
The episode opens with Princess Margaret dressing and dancing about, and the Queen preparing to go to a gala. Then it cuts to the mental hospital and the pathetic inmates. A figure called Derek (‘Dazzle’) Jennings (played by Tom Burke) is around. He is about to become a Catholic priest and there is somewhat more than a hint that he wants Princess Margaret to convert to Catholicism. This, I assume, the film-makers got from a tabloid biography of her by Noel Botham, known for inventing and sensationalising (so, not a respectable source).
The real Father Jennings did exist and was a friend of Cardinal Hume. He knew Princess Margaret well enough to invite her to his flat and to occasionally dine with her. There was never so much as a hint in real life that Princess Margaret flirted with Catholicism, but it is not impossible that Jennings had a go at trying to persuade her. The real-life Jennings died in 1997. Richard Coles described him as a man ‘for whom intimacy was so difficult, and who could be so waspish and sometimes snarly, but who was finally able to love people through his priesthood’. As in this episode, so in real life, Princess Margaret dropped him like a stone, probably wisely, leaving him upset.
Some conflating of incidents then takes place – at least in the timeline. Princess Margaret goes into hospital in 1984 for an operation on her lungs due to smoking (she did). Prince Edward celebrates his 21st birthday (actually 1985, not 1984). Princess Margaret wants to be more involved (a theme already promoted in earlier episodes). In this episode, the Queen and the ever present Martin Charteris come round to tell her the bad news. Prince Edward now being of age, Princess Margaret will no longer be eligible to be appointed as a Counsellor of State. Fair enough, but in this episode, they take this to mean that Princess Margaret can no longer be of any use as a member of the Royal Family, whereas the only issue is what would happen if the Queen went abroad. Of course she could still ‘deputise’ at other times. They did not ‘strip away’ her official role.
To put this into perspective, six Counsellors of State are only appointed to serve if the sovereign goes abroad (or is so ill as not to be able to serve for a time) though only two of them serve, acting in tandem. These would have been Prince Philip (who always went abroad with the Queen, so never served), the Queen Mother, and then the next four in line to the throne – in order of seniority. Therefore, when Prince Edward was old enough, these would have been Prince Charles, Princess Anne, Prince Andrew and him. It is correct that Princess Margaret would no longer have been eligible. The Queen Mother and Princess Margaret were the active ones when the Queen was on her Commonwealth tour, and later in the 1950s, and because quite often the Queen’s children were otherwise engaged in the early 1980s, Princess Margaret did serve as one of the active two. In real life, she was disappointed when she was no longer eligible for that role, though that is the fate of royalty.
In 1943, when George VI went to Africa, he appointed Queen Elizabeth and the next four in line to the throne who were not minors. These were his brother, the Duke of Gloucester, his sister, the Princess Royal, and two obscure cousins, Princess Arthur of Connaught and her sister, the Countess of Southesk, granddaughters of Edward VII, through his daughter, Princess Louise, Duchess of Fife. As usual only two acted.
This ‘demotion’ is the trigger for Princess Margaret to get thoroughly depressed.
We move to Mustique (where the runway seems to have enlarged considerably). Prince Charles visits her there (he did no such thing) and recommends she visits a therapist (which of course she never did). That is how she finds out about the cousins in the mental hospital.
In this episode, Princess Margaret gets Father Jennings to drive her to the mental hospital, Earlswood, a vast Victorian monstrosity at Redhill in Surrey. It was founded in 1847 and moved to Surrey in 1855, called the Earlswood Asylum for Idiots and Imbeciles. Ironically, the Royal Family of the day took a keen interest in it. Princess Margaret does not go in, but the Father does and finds the two sisters aware of their royal connections, etc. (In real life, completely out of the question.) The disgraceful Queen Mother scene – on the beach in Scotland – has her informing Princess Margaret that it was necessary to lock these girls up (and three of their cousins) on account of the Abdication. She says that they had a direct bloodline to the crown and it was essential that no hereditary stigma attached to the monarchy. So the girls had to play ‘a terrible price’. This is complete nonsense and one of the most shaming scenes in this series and should alert viewers to the message that the film-makers want to get across – the Royal Family sacrificing everyone and everything to retain the crown.
The real Queen Mother knew perfectly well that their disability was nothing to do with the Bowes-Lyon family. It was a ‘severe development disorder’ inherited from the Trefusis side, affecting all five girls. This is explained away at the end of the episode, but by then Princess Margaret is once again blaming her family for their heartless action. When the Princess Margaret figure discovers this, she says: ‘Then if they didn’t threaten the integrity of the Royal Family, the girls need never have been hidden away. Then what my family did was unforgivable.’
We leave Princess Margaret smoking and drinking. In real life, in the 1990s (so admittedly a little later on), she gave up smoking and only drank whisky in the evening, and Robinsons barley water at lunchtime.
For the record, the two sisters were Nerissa Bowes-Lyon (1919-86), and Katherine Bowes-Lyon (1926-2014), daughters of Hon. John Bowes-Lyon (1886-1930) and his wife, Hon. Fenella Hepburn-Stuart-Forbes-Trefusis (1889–1966), daughter of 21st Lord Clinton. Shockingly, as shown in this episode, editions of Burke’s Peerage from 1963 published that Nerissa died in February 1949 (in one version – 1940) and Katherine in 1961. (Debrett’s shows them alive in 1950, but they have gone by 1959). Their three cousins (literally no relation to the Royal Family) were Idonea Fane (1912-2001), Rosemary Fane (1914-73), twin with a brother who died before his first birthday, and Ethelreda Fane (1922-96). These last three also appear briefly in this episode, likewise incarcerated.
All five girls suffered from the development disorder. As I understand it, they were sweet fey children who did not grow up and could not cope with normal life. They were unable to speak. Their father died in 1930, and in 1941 all five were placed in the Royal Earlswood Hospital (then privately run), paid for by their grandfather, who lived until 1957. The hospital only became NHS in 1958. It was suggested that they were put there because they were grown up and because in wartime it was hard to find staff to look after them at home.
The Bowes-Lyon sisters were sometimes visited by a healthy sister, Anne, Princess Georg of Denmark, and by their mother, but as they did not recognise anyone, eventually visits were discouraged. When Nerissa died in 1986, Katherine was subdued for a few days, but then went back to being her usual self. Earlswood Hospital was closed in 1997 and Katherine moved to a care home nearby.
The story of these girls was exposed in the press in 1987, and later a rather thin Channel 4 documentary was made called The Hidden Cousins. This inspired The Guardian’s reviewer, John Crace, to write: ‘The only real secret in this film was why the producer had chosen this moment to rake over the shabby treatment of the Queen Mother’s two nieces.’
In real life, Princess Margaret never showed any interest in these sad girls.
Episode 8 48:1
This episode is given this strange title to represent the 48 Commonwealth countries wanting sanctions against South Africa, and the one that opposes – Britain and thus Mrs Thatcher. The episode is based on the entirely false premise that Michael Shea, the Queen’s press secretary, was an honourable man, forced to step aside to protect the Queen, who had authorised him to let it be known that she and Mrs Thatcher were on bad terms. This is completely opposite to what actually happened, and so it is hard not to conclude that this episode was cooked up in order to question the impartiality of the sovereign in respect of her dealings with her prime minister.
Just to run through what they show. The episode begins with Claire Foy reprising her role as Princess Elizabeth, dedicating her life to the service of the nation and Commonwealth in South Africa in 1947 and this being taken in by a young Margaret Roberts (later to be Thatcher) at Oxford. We then see a man putting the finishing touches to the typescript of a somewhat overblown novel, floridly entitled Ixion’s Wheel; a Threnody. He takes this to his agent in Bloomsbury. He is Michael Shea, the Queen’s press secretary (from 1978 to 1987) – played by Nicholas Farrell with rather more rugged good looks and dignity than the real-life Shea.
In the press office at the Palace, one of the secretaries (based on Sarah Brennan) raises an issue – Today newspaper wants him to comment on the Queen’s upset over Mrs Thatcher refusing to endorse sanctions on South Africa. On this he takes the moral high ground – the Queen is blameless and above politics. He refuses to comment to the newspaper. The real Shea, it may be recalled, once suggested to a reporter that palace staff sometimes referred to the Queen ‘putting on her Miss Piggy face’ if displeased. (Olivia Colman wears a Miss Piggy face in almost every episode of The Crown.)
Sir Sonny Ramphal, Secretary-General to the Commonwealth, tells the Queen that 48 Commonwealth countries want sanctions. Only Margaret Thatcher is demurring. Evidently the Prime Minister considers the Commonwealth ‘a ridiculous organisation. . . morally offensive’.
The scene moves to the Bahamas for CHOGM (1985) where the Queen addresses the conference. Mrs Thatcher listens with a stony face. The Queen summons her on board the Royal Yacht Britannia. Mrs Thatcher refuses to back sanctions. They argue. They give Mrs Thatcher an unfair line: ‘The Commonwealth. . . I recognise that for your family the transition of this nation from Empire to comparative supplicancy on the world stage must have come as a greater shock than to the rest of us. But I would argue that the Commonwealth is not the way to fill that gap.’ This implies that the Royal Family were stuck in the days of Empire, whereas they were supportive of countries taking on self-rule, and the Queen’s only concern was when a country left the Commonwealth. (And the Commonwealth has expanded considerably in her reign.)
There follow scenes in which Mrs Thatcher rejects many documents, refusing to sign them – ‘measures’, ‘actions’, ‘controls’, etc, etc. Eventually she accepts the word ‘signals’, evidently thought up by Shea: ‘The Iron Lady melted.’
Back in London, Shea’s agent says he writes well, but she cannot find a publisher for his threnody. She wants him to write a political thriller exploring the inner workings of Whitehall, Westminster and the Palace, based on the Queen’s frustration with her prime ministers. He looks horrified. He is far too honourable for such a thing! He comes out with a line: ‘Sadly I am old-fashioned and would never betray those confidences or the people I am proud to serve.’ Oh dear. In truth, his first thriller came out in 1971. ‘Most of his books are rather dim,’ noted an anonymous Observer profile at this time.
The Today saga gets worse. They are about to run a front page about the increasingly sour relations between Buckingham Palace and Downing Street, following the recent CHOGM, reporting that relations between the Queen and her prime minister are in danger of completely breaking down. Shea tells the Queen that Today is inconsequential but recommends that the Queen issue some kind of statement of support, even of ‘personal affection’ for the Prime Minister.
The episode veers into further fantasy by suggesting that the Queen wants people to know about her lack of compassion. Shea considers this a misjudgement and warns that there could be serious harm done to relations between the Palace and Downing Street. Both Shea and Charteris consider this reckless. Shea states that he wants his objection ‘noted’. Back in his office he learns that Simon Freeman of The Sunday Times has been on the line. Shea meets Freeman and another journalist, one of them with tie askew, in a Fleet Street pub. In reality there was no face-to-face encounter between Shea and the reporters. Shea answered telephone enquiries from The Sunday Times and thought he had handled these cleverly.
Bernard Ingham (Downing Street press secretary) warns Mrs Thatcher about the article. ‘Queen dismayed by “uncaring” Thatcher.’ (This was Sunday, 20 July 1986.) All the Royal Family read it, as do the Thatchers. Mrs Thatcher announces that for the first time she is impatient for her next audience with the Queen.
The misinterpretations get worse. Buckingham Palace denies all accusations. There is a confrontation between monarch and first minister, with heavy music to heighten the sense of drama. Even the drawing room is dark and grey. Mrs Thatcher lectures the Queen. She tells her that in the last seven years there have been 164 audiences, but that now all of a sudden there has been ‘an isolated hiccup’ – that the Queen ‘never expressed her political views in public’. The Queen denies that she has broken this rule. Mrs Thatcher tells her that the ‘source’ was ‘unprecedentedly close’ to the Queen. Mrs Thatcher then goes through the article. And then she hectors the Queen about her mission, etc. What the Queen says is so completely out of character as to be risible.
Prince Andrew’s wedding is set for the next day – so 23 July 1986. Prince Andrew summons his family on the morning of the wedding to discuss their mother’s ‘inexplicable lapse of judgement’ which threatens to eclipse his happy day. (They are all drinking champagne – Princess Anne for one never touches alcohol.) Prince Charles is delighted as it is the Queen in trouble for once, not him. (There is also a small subplot, Prince Andrew inviting his brother Edward to be his best man to snub Charles. Members of the Royal Family usually have two ‘supporters’.) Prince Edward was the best man on the day.
Shea tries to damp down the situation in a telephone conversation with Andrew Neil, editor of The Sunday Times. Neil refuses. So it all gets worse. There is then a scene when Martin Charteris tells the Queen a culprit is needed to deflect blame from her. And so, when Shea comes into his office, he finds Charteris lurking there. Charteris tells Shea to fall on his sword for betraying his queen and Shea emerges as a kind of wronged saint.
That scene compounds the worst of what The Crown does. It is not the first time they have turned a story around, but to base the greater part of an episode on a falsehood is beyond reasonable comprehension. I have little respect for this series, but this compounds my worst suspicions, for it is clearly an attempt to put the Queen in the wrong. Why? Do they want to turn their viewers against her?
The episode ends with a caption to the effect that the Palace continue to ‘insist that the Queen has never expressed an opinion or passed judgement on any of her prime ministers’. It further states that Shea went on to have a successful career writing political thrillers.
The truth of all this is that the villain of the saga was Michael Shea, who took it upon himself to brief The Sunday Times, relaying to them his own dislike of Mrs Thatcher’s policies.
Princess Josephine Loewenstein was a close friend of Princess Margaret’s. She remembers Princess Margaret saying that the only time she saw the Queen cry was over the suggestion that she did not get on with Margaret Thatcher.
The real Queen has always made a point of supporting her elected prime minister, offering what James Callaghan once described as ‘friendliness if not necessarily friendship’. Margaret Thatcher wrote in her memoirs:
Anyone who imagines that [the audiences] are a mere formality or confined to social niceties is quite wrong; they are quietly businesslike and Her Majesty brings to bear a formidable grasp of current issues and breadth of experience. And, although the press could not resist the temptation to suggest disputes between the Palace and Downing Street, especially on Commonwealth affairs, I have always found the Queen’s attitude towards the work of the government absolutely correct.
Of course, under the circumstances, stories of clashes between ‘two powerful women’ were just too good not to make up. In general, more nonsense was written about the so-called ‘feminine factor’ during my time in office than about almost everything else. I was always asked how it felt to be a woman prime minister. I would reply: ‘I don’t know: I’ve never experienced the alternative.’
It is worth stating that the private secretary at this time was Sir William Heseltine, not the long-retired Sir Martin Charteris. He was forced to spend a lot of time finding out who had briefed The Sunday Times, having accepted Shea’s original denial. There was quite a search for a non-existent leaking source.
Mrs Thatcher was upset, and so, before the article was published, Sir William suggested to the Queen that she should telephone the Prime Minister to say she had no prior knowledge of it and did not subscribe to its contents. Heseltine later wrote a letter to The Times in which he explained the role of the Queen in respect of her prime minister and stressed: ‘After thirty-four years of unvarying adherence to these constitutional principles, it is preposterous to suggest that Her Majesty might suddenly depart from them. No sensible person would give a moment’s credence to such a proposition.’ Except the makers of The Crown?
The Commonwealth Games were taking place in Edinburgh, so on 31 July, the Thatchers arrived at Holyroodhouse to stay with the Queen. That night there was a dinner with the Royal Household, and the Queen placed Michael Shea between herself and Mrs Thatcher at dinner. That must have been interesting.
The rift saga occupied reams of newsprint at the time. Woodrow Wyatt, ‘the voice of reason’, did not blame The Sunday Times for printing the story but opined: ‘Nothing is too bad for the secret source who vilely misrepresented the Queen.’ The Mail on Sunday naturally attacked The Sunday Times. They had clearly spoken to Shea, without naming him, and concluded that: ‘He knew nothing about how that article was to be distorted for the front page and was horrified after publication.’ A.L. Le Quesne wrote to The Times on 21 July and got near the truth by suggesting that it was ‘one or more of the Queen’s personal advisers acting on their own initiative with the aim of influencing public opinion by doing so’. A young journalist at the News of the World, Andrew Morton (later to be Diana’s mouthpiece), tracked the source as Michael Shea by revealing that The Economist had claimed the article had been read to him. He confronted Shea: ‘On that basis then you are the Palace mole?’ Shea replied: ‘Ah. That might be your conclusion.’
Several books have since revealed that Shea acted entirely independently and that he misled everyone at the Palace. He was sufficiently self-delusional – and alarmed – to maintain that no responsibility rested with him, and when eventually he was forced to own up, even then he claimed that he had been grossly misrepresented.
Kenneth Harris wrote perceptively about the similarities in the characters of the Queen and Mrs Thatcher in his 1994 biography, The Queen, and Hugo Young discredited stories of a rift in One of Us, his 1989 biography of Margaret Thatcher. Sally Bedell Smith, a more recent biographer of the Queen, nailed Shea for expressing his own liberal views ‘that friends had heard him express at dinner parties’.
Buckingham Palace effectively sacked Shea by securing him a job with Hanson plc – which is the polite way those things are done. Years later, Noreen Taylor reviewed one of his novels, Berlin Embassy, writing: ‘Michael Shea gives the impression that he finds himself rather engaging. He just can’t help congratulating himself on a life of success, prosperity, personal happiness and even a little celebrity. His shoulders fairly bristle with epaulettes of triumph.’ I met Shea a few times. I support the Taylor view.
It has been suggested that when Shea left the Palace he went so far as to ask for a knighthood (KCVO). This was not forthcoming. The film-makers might perhaps have consulted the second volume of Charles Moore’s authorised biography of Margaret Thatcher: ‘Over a rather longer period of time, the government’s low opinion of Michael Shea’s behaviour was borne in upon Buckingham Palace, and he was quietly edged out of his post (“not fast enough” in the view of Sir William Heseltine).’ It defies belief that the makers of The Crown could create the greater part of a whole episode on a falsehood.
Episode 9 Avalanche
This is another episode based on tragedy, again not short of false premises. It starts with the well-known scene of Diana dancing with Wayne Sleep at a 37th birthday gala for Prince Charles – in connection with the Friends of Covent Garden – in November 1985 (a private ballet evening in December in fact). She surprises him with this dance, which is meant as a tribute of her affection for him, but he interprets it as a ‘grotesque, mortifying display’ of showing off. He yells at her in the car. At a reception afterwards, the real Wayne Sleep remembered that Prince Charles was aloof, making it all too clear that he had disapproved of Diana’s performance. In this scene he then departs to Camilla world – Highgrove.
Timelines are once again conflated since all of a sudden we jump to March 1988 – over two years on – and the tragic skiing holiday in Klosters in which Major Hugh Lindsay, equerry to the Queen and friend of Prince Charles, is killed in an avalanche when the royal party go skiing off piste. We see the avalanche, and we see the Queen waiting to hear if her son has been killed. Hugh Lindsay’s wife, the former Sarah Brennan, worked in the press office – the woman depicted in the press office scenes in episode 8. In real life, she had been married since 1987 and was pregnant. A posthumous daughter was born. Diana and the Duchess of York were also in Klosters (but the Duchess is not shown in this episode).
In reality, the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh were going round the Centenary Exhibition of the Lawn Tennis Association at the Queen’s Club in Hammersmith on the afternoon when news of the accident came through. Since there were rumours that the Prince of Wales might have been killed, a message was sent to her to reassure her, lest that rumour reach her. She was of course greatly upset at the news of her equerry’s death.
The avalanche and its consequent tragedy is used to symbolise opposing reactions by Charles and Diana to their marriage. In a nutshell, as shown here, he wants out, she realises how much she would have missed him and wants to make it work. To suggest that this was the moment of reckoning in their marriage is far from the truth.
In the episode, Princess Anne reports on the sorry state of the Wales marriage. Charles then tells Camilla that the avalanche served to make it clear to him that he really wanted her and would give anything to escape from his charade of a marriage, virtually a proposal from a married man to a married woman. This seems to me to be pushing it a bit. There is then a cooked-up scene in which the Queen summons the Waleses to tell them that the marriage of a future monarch cannot be allowed to fail, and while Charles is about to announce his plan, Diana says that the possibility that Charles had died in the avalanche showed her that they must override their differences, as these are trivial in comparison to what happened in Klosters. Heavy, dramatic funereal music brings this melodramatic scene to a close.
So on it goes: Diana dumps her lover, Major Hewitt and goes into therapy – all this as their seventh wedding anniversary approaches – 29 July 1988. Meanwhile Prince Charles is not giving Camilla up. The anniversary comes round and Diana brings her boys to Highgrove, where we see a maid removing an alien bra from the bed and switching Camilla’s photo for Diana’s. Prince Charles gives Diana an 1822 volume on the history of her family home, and she gives him a video of herself singing in Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera. He tells Princess Anne it was monstrous.
Princess Anne attacks him for being a fantasist (pronounced fentasist) about the whole Camilla thing. He stomps off. So he confronts Camilla – does she still have feelings for her husband? He wants to escape this calamity of a marriage. Calling him ‘sir’, she tells him it is important that he be realistic and then they kiss. The outcome of all this is that Prince Charles goes into a sulk and refuses all Diana’s calls.
Diana takes up with Hewitt again. All this is filmed to the accompaniment of music, sometimes frantic and sometimes ominous, as in a thriller. But Prince Charles has had her under surveillance and so the men in grey suits observe, confer and finally report. We are to believe that they have finally nailed her. A heavy roll of drums. The Prince is told. He looks positively murderous.
What can I say? If the wedding was the stuff of fairy tales, the gradual collapse of the marriage was a degringolade of epic proportions. The problem with addressing the decline in that marriage is that there are two versions and they are invariably contradictory. Jonathan Dimbleby described the real-life decline between 1987 and 1992 as ‘a drama in which the banality of the script was illuminated only by shafts of cruelty’. He wrote that the press reports invariably ‘cast the Prince of Wales as the “villain of the royal soap opera”’. That is the line taken here and it is further pursued in the final episode of this series.
Episode 10 War
Much of this episode concerns the fall of Mrs Thatcher. The other part, interspersed with the political drama, is the continuing collapse of the Wales marriage.
It begins with Geoffrey Howe lumbering out of bed, with his ditch-Mrs-Thatcher speech to the ready. This he delivers to devastating effect in the House of Commons. Fair enough – he did. A wounded Mrs Thatcher battles on, and according to this episode, while the Prime Minister focuses on the Gulf, the Queen asks if she expects a leadership crisis, to be told: ‘I shall see them off in no time.’ The contest goes to a second ballot, and Mrs Thatcher sees her duplicitous ministers one by one. Denis comments: ‘Bastards. . . Murderers.’ So far so good, but then they introduce a ridiculous suggestion that Mrs Thatcher wants to ask the Queen to dissolve Parliament in order to save her skin. This the Queen refuses, on the grounds that there is no power without authority: ‘The country is against you.’ Why do they cook up such nonsense?
So goodbye, Margaret Thatcher. The episode goes back into focus at the end, with the Queen summoning Mrs Thatcher to see her, saying: ‘I was shocked by the way you were forced to leave office,’ and pinning the Order of Merit on her for ‘exceptionally meritorious service’. I remember being told at the time how shocked the Queen was – a comment along the lines of ‘she may have been tired but. . .’ The Queen did not like the way the Conservative party forced her out of office. What a pity the series did not have more scenes like that, which capture the relationship – instead of continually perverting the truth. This scene was genuinely moving.
Interspersed with this is the roller-coaster collapse of the Wales marriage to which I can but echo the views expressed at the end of the last episode. There is a trumped-up bit about Prince Charles announcing that Diana has resumed her affair with Hewitt, and wishing to institute proceedings against her. No. The Waleses go to Ludgrove School to watch a rugby match in order to contrast the affection of the mother with the cold and distant approach of the father. Prince William is hugged by Diana and given a pat by his father. Then we get Prince Charles doing her down as usual and with real venom.
The apparently Machiavellian Edward Adeane tries to scuttle Diana’s first solo visit to the US – which happened in 1989. Patrick Jephson, her private secretary between 1988 and 1996, assures him she is healthy enough for the trip. Needless to say it is a wild success. This is a device to introduce the caring Diana, hugging a child in Harlem, visiting an AIDS clinic and so on, all of which disgusts the Prince Charles figure. There are more bulimic scenes, and we are left with the image of the princess as a poor, crumpled creature.
This is contrasted to the Prince Charles figure cavorting with Camilla (smoking and drinking) and wanting her as his wife – complaining that the world just wants a fairy tale, whereas he wants her – the reality and that that can be the fairy story. On Diana’s return from America, there is an unpleasant scene in which Prince Charles yells at her for ‘hurting’ his mistress. ‘Camilla is who I want,’ he screams. Unacceptable nonsense. History does not corroborate any wish for divorce or separation at this time. Right up until 1992 he believed it could still work publicly if not privately.
The series ends with the Royal Family heading for Sandringham for Christmas in a convoy of Rolls-Royces. The customary dead birds are hanging up, presumably to stress to the viewers what a brutal bunch the family is. No one speaks to Diana, the Queen brushes her off, but nor does she want to listen to Prince Charles and his whingeing. As we come to the end of this season, the film-makers have firmly stuck the knife into Prince Charles. There is no hint at the work he does in real life, his achievements or that he has any interest other than Camilla. The portrayal is completely negative.
Diana stays in her room and is visited by Prince Philip, who tells her: ‘It might reassure you that we all think he’s quite mad.’ He urges her not to break away, suggesting that might end badly. She replies: ‘I hope that isn’t a threat, sir.’ I guess that is a hint that we are to be served up conspiracy theories in a later season, when she is killed in the tunnel in Paris in 1997.
Prince Philip tells her he was an outsider when he met the Queen, a 13-year-old princess. He delivers lines which are perhaps meant to bang home one of the messages of the series. He was an outsider then: ‘And after all these years I still am. We all are. Everyone in this system is a lost, lonely, irrelevant outsider apart from the one person, the only person that matters. She’s the oxygen we all breathe, the essence of all our duty. Your problem, if I may say, is you seem to be confused about who that person is.’
Season 4 ends with a group photograph of the Royal Family, Diana a lonely figure on the fringes, tears in her eyes.
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2020.11.17 01:27 SWGalaxysEdge ** Tue 11/17 - Christmas TV listings - ALL CHANNELS **

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all times are Eastern USA - check your local listings
The Mistle-Tones Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / FAM-E 52 A girl with a very talented singing voice creates her own musical singing group around Christmas after being shocked and upset when she auditions and doesn't get the part to join a musical group that her late mother started years before.
Scrooged Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / AMCALL 64 The executive of a major TV network nearly ruins a holiday after he fires a low-level aide, exploits his good-hearted secretary and trashes a holiday show on Christmas Eve, but visitations from various ghosts manage to show him the error of his ways.
12 Gifts of Christmas Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / HALMRK 68 A painter in need of work becomes a successful businessman's personal shopper, and when they team up to make his Christmas purchases, he tries a new approach to gift-giving and she uses her artistic abilities in an unexpected way.
A Holiday Engagement Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / HALLMV 84 After being jilted at the altar by her fiancé, a young woman hires an unemployed artist to pretend to be her fiancé over the holiday weekend to keep her demanding mother satisfied, but she begins realizing she may have fallen in love again.
Holiday Baking Championship - Take Holiday Pies by Surprise Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / FOODHD 1252 / HDTV Host Jesse Palmer asks the nine bakers to make holiday cookie-topped mini pies, then the competitors celebrate fall with flavor combos such as pumpkin-cider and chestnut-chocolate in double crust, cream pies, slab pies, lattice pies and custard pies.
Christmas Catch Tomorrow, 12:00 AM / UP 145
Christmas on the Vine Tomorrow, 12:01 AM / LIF-E 38 On Christmas vacation a marketing executive works on an assignment to help a family-owned winery struggling to stay afloat, and along with the stubborn winery owner, she tries to save the business from being acquired by a giant wine corporation.
Will & Grace - Christmas Break Tomorrow, 12:30 AM / LOGO 147 Will and Grace attend a holiday party at his mother's house and Grace breaks a treasured figurine, but Will convinces her to blame the damage on another guest; Jack takes on the task of watching after Karen's stepdaughter Olivia.
Two and a Half Men - Give Santa a Tail-hole Tomorrow, 12:30 AM / IFC 85 Walden continues to juggle having two identities as he keeps pretending to be poor, while still maintaining his rich man persona; Alan sadly finds himself spending the holidays at home all by himself with no one in sight.
Christmas Cookie Challenge - Visions of Christmas Tomorrow, 1:00 AM / FOODTV 56 Five bakers use cookies to show off their idea of Christmas future, then they recreate the excitement of unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning by building baked and breakable gift displays; guest judge Gesine Prado joins the host
Christmas at Cartwright's Tomorrow, 2:00 AM / HALMRK 68 A single, jobless mother looks for work to help make her daughter's Christmas a happy one, and with help from an angel, she finds a job as a department store Santa, leading her to a love interest that she believes can be the one for her.
Christmas in Evergreen Tomorrow, 2:00 AM / HALLMV 84 When a local veterinarian wishes for a romantic holiday, she suddenly meets a businessman and his daughter stranded at the airport, but when the daughter makes a wish of her own on a snow globe, an unexpected romance ensues.
The Big Bake: Holiday - Santa on Cakecation Tomorrow, 2:00 AM / FOODTV 56 Host Brad Smith challenges the baking teams to create cakes that depict Santa on his dream vacation, as judges Harry Eastwood, Eddie Jackson, and Joy Wilson, decide which masterpiece takes them on a tasty trip and earns the win.
The Christmas Edition Tomorrow, 2:04 AM / LIF-E 38 As she deals with a breakup from her longtime boyfriend, a journalist learns that the newspaper she writes for is shutting down, so when she hears of a small newspaper in Alaska seeking an owner, she decides to take a chance on a new path in life.
Holiday Baking Championship - Holiday Goodie Games Tomorrow, 3:00 AM / FOODTV 56 The 10 bakers highlight a nut or seed in a holiday dessert, then the competitors spin a wheel to determine which fundamental holiday ingredient they must add to unseasonable desserts, like icebox cakes or fruit tarts, and the judges decide who wins.
Marry Me at Christmas Tomorrow, 4:00 AM / HALMRK 68 A bridal boutique owner must overcome her feelings when she suddenly finds that she has gained the opportunity of a lifetime to work closely with the handsome brother of a bride, who also happens to be her celebrity crush.
Christmas at Graceland Tomorrow, 4:00 AM / HALLMV 84 When an executive takes a trip to finish a deal involving a family-owned bank, she runs into her former flame turned music promoter, but when the two rehash their old days of performing together, the businesswoman finds herself drawn to the past.
Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas Tomorrow, 4:16 AM / ENCORFM 378 When Dr. Claw makes plans to visit the North Pole in order to overthrow Santa Claus and take over his elves and workshop, Inspector Gadget and his support crew get ready to embark on a mission to stop Dr. Claw and save Christmas.
Scoot and Kassie's Christmas Adventure Tomorrow, 4:41 AM / ENCORFM 378 A young girl and her friends get into the holiday spirit and organize a Christmas concert benefiting children in need, but when two thieves attempt to crash the event and steal the donations, it's up to the girl and her dog to catch the crooks.
Tom and Jerry Tales - Ho Ho Horrors; Doggone Hill Hog; Northern Light Fish Fight Tomorrow, 5:00 AM / BOOM-E 124 After Mammy falls asleep, Tom and Jerry start a rambunctious fight under the decorated Christmas tree; Tom and Jerry try to have fun in the snow but Spike causes them trouble; Top and Jerry get into a brawl over a little fish.
Little House on the Prairie - A Christmas They Never Forgot Tomorrow, 5:00 AM / HALLDRMHD 1124 Laura and Almanzo, Mary and Adam, and Hester Sue come to Charles and Caroline's already-full home for Christmas Eve, and a blizzard traps them all, leaving them to pass the time by telling stories about Christmases in other years and places.
Hats Off to Christmas! Tomorrow, 6:00 AM / HALMRK 68 After a hat shop manager is overlooked for a new position, she is forced to train her boss' son for the job instead, however she soon falls for the young man, and when she discovers he may be unreliable, she must make a decision for their future.
Family For Christmas Tomorrow, 6:00 AM / HALLMV 84 An ambitious investigative journalist who ended a promising relationship in order to further her career is given a magical opportunity to experience the suburban life she could have had as a stay-at-home mother with two children and her true love.
Sonic Christmas Blast Tomorrow, 6:12 AM / ENCORFM 378 Dr. Robotnik decides to take over for a retiring Santa Claus, but it is up to Sonic to save Christmas when he learns that the robot villain is beginning to steal every gift on the planet instead of spreading the holiday cheer.
It Happened on Fifth Avenue Tomorrow, 7:10 AM / WTVT-DT2 613 / MOVIES! When a family leaves their luxurious New York City mansion unattended for a vacation during the Christmas holiday season, a small group of homeless people decide to utilize the opportunity to make the residence their home for a few days.
Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas Tomorrow, 7:16 AM / WAM-W 389 When Dr. Claw makes plans to visit the North Pole in order to overthrow Santa Claus and take over his elves and workshop, Inspector Gadget and his support crew get ready to embark on a mission to stop Dr. Claw and save Christmas.
A Star For Christmas Tomorrow, 8:00 AM / LIF-E 38 The only thing going right in a woman's life is her Christmas Cupcakery business, until she falls head over heels in love with a co-worker who reveals himself to be a famous, but troubled actor; they work to defy the odds against their relationship.
Christmas at Graceland: Home for the Holidays Tomorrow, 8:00 AM / HALMRK 68 A world-traveler decides to head home to Memphis for the holidays and chooses to take on a job being a nanny for a wealthy widower while she waits to hear about a new job overseas, and the two of them start to develop feelings for one another.
The Christmas Bow Tomorrow, 8:00 AM / HALLMV 84 A promising musicians lifelong dream is put on hold by an accident, but she reconnects with an old family friend, and his young cousin, while recovering at home during the Christmas holiday, she finds love in someone who believes in her.
Sonic Christmas Blast Tomorrow, 9:12 AM / WAM-W 389 Dr. Robotnik decides to take over for a retiring Santa Claus, but it is up to Sonic to save Christmas when he learns that the robot villain is beginning to steal every gift on the planet instead of spreading the holiday cheer.
Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz - Oz on Ice Part 1 Tomorrow, 9:30 AM / BOOM-E 124 The Wicked Witch interferes with the Christmas Eve party because she is tired of the winter holiday, and as a result of her schemes, the Christmas tree freezes everyone and everything residing in Oz just as the party begins.
Christmas Around the Corner Tomorrow, 10:00 AM / LIF-E 38 A venture capitalist leaves New York City behind to enjoy the holidays in a small Vermont town, where she hopes to revive the yuletide spirit by repairing a local bookstore, but the owner stands in the way of her improvements.
A Godwink Christmas: Meant for Love Tomorrow, 10:00 AM / HALLMV 84 Multiple coincidences and a chance meeting bring two strangers from very different family backgrounds, together for a weekend wedding celebration, and encouraged by her family, she slowly lets go of her reservations about meeting someone new.
Holiday in Handcuffs Tomorrow, 11:00 AM / FAM-E 52 An artist who works as a waitress blows an important job interview and is dumped by her boyfriend, and worried about going home for Christmas alone and disappointing her parents, she kidnaps a customer at work and introduces him as her fiancé.
Gilmore Girls - Santa's Secret Stuff Tomorrow, 11:00 AM / LOGO 147 When Rory returns from London after Christmas, Lorelai and Christopher celebrate a "Christmas after Christmas" with her; Luke asks a favor of Lorelai after he unexpectedly shows up at the inn; Rory tries to apologize to Lucy through a letter.
A Dennis the Menace Christmas Tomorrow, 11:30 AM / AMCALL 64 Dennis keeps on trying to get Mr. Wilson into the Christmas spirit while having to deal with a neighborhood bully who is constantly hassling him but ends up losing the spirit too, until someone comes in to help save Christmas for everyone.
Christmas Pen Pals Tomorrow, 12:00 PM / LIF-E 38 When a dating app creator returns home for the holidays, she is convinced to participate in her town's Christmas Cupid and winds up falling in love with her anonymous pen pal only to discover he is the last person she expected to fall for.
One Royal Holiday Tomorrow, 12:00 PM / HALMRK 68 A woman offers a stranded mother and son shelter during a blizzard, but after she learns that they are a royal family, she decides to show the prince how Christmas is celebrated in her hometown and encourages him to open his heart.
Christmas On My Mind Tomorrow, 12:00 PM / HALLMV 84 After a young woman gets temporary short-term amnesia from a bump on the head, she returns to her hometown in Maine for their annual Christmas celebration and rediscovers the woman she used to be and what matters most in life and finds love.
Scoot and Kassie's Christmas Adventure Tomorrow, 12:50 PM / ENCORFM 378 A young girl and her friends get into the holiday spirit and organize a Christmas concert benefiting children in need, but when two thieves attempt to crash the event and steal the donations, it's up to the girl and her dog to catch the crooks.
Santa Buddies Tomorrow, 12:55 PM / HBOF-E 204 A boundless collective of loveably talkative puppies attempts to get themselves into the spirit of Christmas after discovering that a magical icicle has begun to melt, causing the world's population to lose sight of the true meaning of the holidays.
Laverne & Shirley - All Come All Ye Bums Tomorrow, 1:00 PM / LOGO 147 When Frank cancels the annual charity dinner held at the Pizza Bowl, Laverne and Shirley decide to raise money to save the event that is held for the homeless and others who struggle financially and do so by becoming street performers.
The Cleveland Show - Murray Christmas Tomorrow, 1:30 PM / CMDY-E 61 Rallo's teacher forces him to spend a weekend at a retirement home in order to know the senior citizens better, and while he is there, he learns about Hanukkah and tries to help one of the residents rekindle his holiday spirit by escaping.
Planes, Trains and Automobiles Tomorrow, 1:30 PM / AMCALL 64 A businessman who is struggling to travel home for the holidays gets paired up with an obnoxious shower ring salesman, who turns his journey into a three-day stretch of errors as one transportation problem follows another.
Staging Christmas Tomorrow, 2:00 PM / LIF-E 38 A home stager is surprised when a wealthy widower, who is not looking to sell his house, tasks her with staging his home in the hope of recovering his daughters holiday cheer, and she finds herself growing closer to the family as she works.
Christmas Land Tomorrow, 2:00 PM / HALMRK 68 A businesswoman inherits a Christmas village and tree farm from her grandmother, and after revisiting the run-down attraction with the town's handsome lawyer, she begins to reconsider her plans for the property and her future.
Two Turtle Doves Tomorrow, 2:00 PM / HALLMV 84 A doctor searches for a beloved family heirloom in a small Christmas town, but when she unexpectedly discovers an adorable little girl along with her disheartened father, she realizes that Christmas miracles really do happen
Scoot and Kassie's Christmas Adventure Tomorrow, 3:50 PM / WAM-W 389 A young girl and her friends get into the holiday spirit and organize a Christmas concert benefiting children in need, but when two thieves attempt to crash the event and steal the donations, it's up to the girl and her dog to catch the crooks.
Santa Buddies Tomorrow, 3:55 PM / HBOF-W 211 A boundless collective of loveably talkative puppies attempts to get themselves into the spirit of Christmas after discovering that a magical icicle has begun to melt, causing the world's population to lose sight of the true meaning of the holidays.
The Road to Christmas Tomorrow, 4:00 PM / LIF-E 38 A high-powered fashion photographer on her way to her dream Christmas-time wedding in Aspen, Colorado, finds herself stranded and unable to secure a flight or rent a car and resorts to bumming a ride from a man and his teenage daughter.
Cherished Memories: A Gift to Remember 2 Tomorrow, 4:00 PM / HALMRK 68 Aiden and Darcy get ready to celebrate their second Christmas together, but an unexpected guest arrives and ends up uniting everyone for an unforgettable holiday as they fight to try and save their beloved community center.
Christmas Bells are Ringing Tomorrow, 4:00 PM / HALLMV 84 A photographer returns to her home in Cape Cod, Mass., in order to celebrate Christmas and her fathers wedding, but although she is anxious to revisit her past memories, she finds new meaning in her photography and falls in love
Jack Frost Tomorrow, 5:30 PM / AMCALL 64 A neglectful father chasing a dream to become a rock musician dies in an automobile accident while trying to get home for Christmas and returns in the form of a snowman to spend time with his son and do the things he always meant to do.
Rediscovering Christmas Tomorrow, 6:00 PM / LIF-E 38 A department store window designer returns to her hometown to help her sister spearhead decorations for the towns annual Snowflake Festival and Christmas Eve dance, but she finds herself butting heads with the man whose family created the festival.
A Shoe Addict's Christmas Tomorrow, 6:00 PM / HALMRK 68 When a woman is accidentally locked inside a department store after closing, she is shocked to receive a visit from a guardian angel, who takes her on a trip to Christmases past, present and future to rediscover the true spirit of the holiday.
The Christmas Train Tomorrow, 6:00 PM / HALLMV 84 A journalist travels on a train to get from Washington, D.C. to Los Angeles in time for Christmas, while on the way, he meets a variety of characters, including a renowned movie producer, a screenwriter, his assistant, and a mysterious woman.
Top Elf - Unwrapped Tomorrow, 7:00 PM / THEN 140 Six extraordinary kid creators compete against each other for the title of "Top Elf," as actor Frankie "Frankini" Grande from "Henry Danger," joins Santa Claus and Ms. Jingles to judge the competitors' life-sized action figures.
Sonic Christmas Blast Tomorrow, 7:47 PM / ENCORFM 378 Dr. Robotnik decides to take over for a retiring Santa Claus, but it is up to Sonic to save Christmas when he learns that the robot villain is beginning to steal every gift on the planet instead of spreading the holiday cheer.
A Christmas Winter Song Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / LIF-E 38 A musical bond forms between a Christmas shop owner and a former jazz singer who has hit rock bottom as the store owner tries to help the artist reconnect with his daughter and grandchildren in time for the towns annual holiday concert.
Four Christmases Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / AMCALL 64 Trying to avoid their parents during Christmas, a couple plans a secret trip and tells everyone they are helping a charity, but when the trip is interrupted, they must visit each of their divorced parents, which leads to trouble and revelations.
The Christmas Cottage Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / HALMRK 68 When an interior designer is asked to be her best friend's maid of honor, she ends up spending the night snowed inn with her friend's brother at their family's cottage, which is rumored to result in everlasting love to those who stay there
Meet Me at Christmas Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / HALLMV 84 When her sons wedding planner unexpectedly quits, his mother must coordinate his Christmas Eve wedding with the help of the brides uncle, but as they work alongside each other, they discover that their fates and pasts are intertwined.
Top Elf - Teamwork Makes the Tree Work Tomorrow, 8:00 PM / THEN 140 Five talented elf contestants are in the running for the title of "Top Elf"; actress Peyton List joins Santa and Ms. Jingles to judge the giant holiday ornament challenge.
Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas Tomorrow, 8:09 PM / ENCORFM 378 When Dr. Claw makes plans to visit the North Pole in order to overthrow Santa Claus and take over his elves and workshop, Inspector Gadget and his support crew get ready to embark on a mission to stop Dr. Claw and save Christmas.
Scoot and Kassie's Christmas Adventure Tomorrow, 8:34 PM / ENCORFM 378 A young girl and her friends get into the holiday spirit and organize a Christmas concert benefiting children in need, but when two thieves attempt to crash the event and steal the donations, it's up to the girl and her dog to catch the crooks.
This Christmas Tomorrow, 9:00 PM / OWN 24 Coming together for the first time after spending several years apart from one another, an estranged family reconnects to celebrate Christmas, where they do their best to overcome the squabbles that managed to keep them from seeing each other.
Angel of Christmas Tomorrow, 9:00 PM / HALLDRMHD 1124 / HDTV A newspaper staff member must write about a festive family heirloom for her first big assignment, but as the deadline approaches, she must uncover a love triangle in her great-grandfather's past while sorting her feelings for two interested men.
A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas Tomorrow, 9:30 PM / HBOC-E 205 After accidentally burning down Harold's father-in-law's prize Christmas tree, Harold and Kumar embark on a quest to find the perfect replacement in New York City, but along the way, they run into all types of trouble blocking their path.
Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen Tomorrow, 10:00 PM / HALLMV 84 An enthusiastic Christmas party planner and her sister clash with their client, who is a not-so-jolly chief executive officer for a toy company.
Fred Claus Tomorrow, 10:00 PM / AMCALL 64 After Santa's older brother ends up in jail, Santa allows him to work at the North Pole to help pay off his debt, but his bad behavior begins to try the Jolly Old Elf's patience, as an efficiency expert hopes to stop operations at the North Pole.
A Very Vintage Christmas Tomorrow, 10:03 PM / LIF-E 38 After uncovering a hidden box full of romantic mementos, the owner of Very Vintage Antiques makes it her goal to track down the items rightful owner and enlists the help of the new resident at the listed address to track down the individual.
Sonic Christmas Blast Tomorrow, 10:47 PM / WAM-W 389 Dr. Robotnik decides to take over for a retiring Santa Claus, but it is up to Sonic to save Christmas when he learns that the robot villain is beginning to steal every gift on the planet instead of spreading the holiday cheer.
Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas Tomorrow, 11:09 PM / WAM-W 389 When Dr. Claw makes plans to visit the North Pole in order to overthrow Santa Claus and take over his elves and workshop, Inspector Gadget and his support crew get ready to embark on a mission to stop Dr. Claw and save Christmas.
Black Christmas Tomorrow, 11:20 PM / HBO2 202 Students at a college head home for the holidays to spend time with their families, but as a group of sorority sisters prepare to have fun at some seasonal parties, a mysterious person in a cloak begins to leave a bloody trail around campus.
Reba - Cookies for Santa Tomorrow, 11:30 PM / UP 145 Reba is down in dumps after learning she will be spending Christmas Eve alone, but an unexpected encounter brightens her holiday spirit; meanwhile, Van and Cheyenne's attempt to start a new tradition goes awry.
The King of Queens - Mentalo Case Tomorrow, 11:31 PM / FYI 104 Christmas time has arrived and Carrie is busily putting into action her plans to spend the most money out of everyone else; Deacon and Doug get into a series of arguments over who deserves a popular doll from their childhood.
Scoot and Kassie's Christmas Adventure Tomorrow, 11:34 PM / WAM-W 389 A young girl and her friends get into the holiday spirit and organize a Christmas concert benefiting children in need, but when two thieves attempt to crash the event and steal the donations, it's up to the girl and her dog to catch the crooks.
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2020.11.11 05:51 Maddox_Hendrick_Lake The Price of Attrition, Chapter VI (Part I)

My feet sank in the sand, my eyes scanned the horizon. The sun set over the labyrinth of red sandstone that we were about to enter, turning its walls varying shades of red, orange, pink, and purple. A cool breeze blew through the air, easing the incredible summer heat making me shiver, since my skin was wet with sweat and sunscreen. Behold Moqui Canyon, I thought to myself, and the Dune of Doom.
The Dune of Doom was the access to the canyon on the map that was marked with the name 'Moqui'. I'm not entirely sure how high it was, but it had to be some hundreds of feet, cascading down into the canyon and swallowing everything in its path like an avalanche. It was dotted with the strange little grey-green scrub plants that seemed to dominate the sandy highlands of the Glen Canyon Reservation Area, and a path zigzagged across the whole way down... but paths were for pussies. Instead of walking from one side of the Dune to the next like ants, my friends and I decided that the best course of action would be to jump down as fast as we could, packs on our backs and all. I can still remember hearing Derek call after us, “Yo, guys! Stop! Guys, guys!” We didn't care. There had to have been several times that I thought I was going to break my ankles as one of my feet sank so far in the sand on impact that it wasn't so easily pulled out as the other was already in the air with nothing but feet worth of air between it and the next touch of ground. Though after a drop of 15 ft. or more that I was lucky enough to land flat on my feet on a section of the zigzag path, I was feeling a little more cautious. My heart was racing, but my friends were ahead of me, so I kept on, until I finally biffed it and fell flat on my face somewhere near the bottom and kept rolling uncontrollably the rest of the way down. I hit the sandy, yet more compacted soil at the base hard, landing on scraped knees, and I spat out blood.
“Holy shit!” I heard someone yell, but my head was spinning, so I wasn't sure who.
I heard the impact of hiking boots next to me, and the clanging of the metal thermoses that were hanging off of Connor's pack.
“Dude, are you ok?” He sounded pretty worried; I wasn't really sure how far I had rolled, but it had to be 30 ft. at least.
I smiled at him, my teeth red with my own blood, and I started laughing. There was something that was strangely exhilarating about having almost seriously injured myself, but as far as I could tell, I could still feel everything, so I must have been fine.
“That was fucking awesome!” I yelled back at him.
He started laughing too.
“Dude, you fuckin' ate shit!” He squatted down next to me, “Are you sure you're ok?”
“No...” I struggled to get up.
“Look at your arm...” He pointed at it, and I looked — there was a huge scrape running from my shoulder to my elbow... after all, I wasn't wearing a shirt.
“We don't want that to get infected...”
“That's why we have Neosporin and bandages in the first-aid kit.” I told him.
He shrugged.
“You'll have a funny tan.”
“Who the fuck cares?” I stood up and reached for my water bottle, “I didn't take my shirt off cuz I wanted a tan. If we wanted tans we'd be at Lake Powell.”
“Trynian!” That was Matt's voice, “Trynian! Are you ok man?”
He came running down, but was unable to stop himself until he was a few feet ahead of us.
“He's fine!” Connor smiled, “But that was pretty fuckin' crazy.”
“Fuck yeah it was!” Matt said, looking at my scrape, “You want me to bandage that up?”
“Doesn't Jack have the first-aid kit?” I looked up at Jack, who had come down almost at the same time as Matt.
“I did yesterday...” He gestured up the Dune, “Derek has it now.”
All four of us looked up to see where my stepbrother was, only to see that he was now little more than a spec moving slowly down the zigzag trail.
“Ummm... where are his balls?” Connor asked.
“He's old, man. Let him be old.” I said, though it did occur to me that 24 wasn’t that old at all, “Plus, the altitude seems to be more of a thing for him. I think he might have asthma or something.”
“Come on dude!” Jack yelled up at him, “At least try to look like you're in a hurry! We—”
I cut him off, reaching over and popping him in his bare shoulder with my fist.
“Shut the fuck up dude! Give him a break...” I said.
“You guys go ahead and make camp! ” We heard him bellow down at us, “I ain’t got no time for no broken legs!”
We all laughed at that. My stepdad and step-siblings were hillbillies from California (yes, such a thing exists), and while they didn't usually talk with that thick of an accent, I had trouble understanding them sometimes when they were upset. Except one time when my stepdad, Terry, had repeated that iconic Samuel L. Jackson line when he had caught me sneaking out. English, mothafucka! Do you speak it? The thought made me laugh. The four of us walked down the trail passed some trees into the dried up riverbank. The orange-colored sand was extremely soft. I sat down I took another moment to look around me and appreciate the majesty of the red-brown cliffs that were towering over our heads.
“This place is really fuckin' cool.” I said.
“Shame we couldn't bring those girls with us...” Jack said, taking in the view.
We had stayed quiet about what happened for more than forty-eight hours, now. I kind of felt like I owed everyone else an apology for inadvertently ruining their evening in my own little post-rejection fit. At the same time though, I was indignant, and I didn’t want to say anything until I got an apology from Derek, which… the more I thought about it, I wasn’t really entitled to. Yes, all gay people don’t have AIDS, but Derek was only looking out for me, and I knew it, even if I thought his logic was more than a little inconsistent, what with his and everyone else’s obvious intentions on taking the two Italian girls to bed.
“Yeah… about that…” I said, “… I’m really sorry, guys.”
“It’s cool man. We still love you.” Jack unbuckled his back and sat down, “It would’ve been shitty anyways if we all went off to get laid while you did fuck all by yourself. Plus, it was just a little bit weird how they were so ok with the whole thing even after they knew we were only 16.”
“Yeah, how old were they anyways? Did anyone catch that?” Connor asked.
“Nope.” Jack said, “You don’t ask a woman her age, right?”
“I guess.” Connor said, unbuckling his pack.
“You guys speak for yourselves, I’m kinda pissed.” Matt said.
“Aaaaw… Princess Madison!” Jack quipped.
“Fuck you, man!” Matt laughed, “That was seriously kind of fucked up, Trynian.”
“I know,” I sighed, “I didn’t mean to fuck it up for you. I’m sorry.”
“What was Trynian supposed to do?” Jack said.
“Who says he couldn’t have joined in?”
Matt was looking at Jack expectantly, and Jack cracked an awkward smile.
“Don’t be nasty, man!” He laughed.
“What, is Trynian nasty?”
Was something going on here? I wanted to ask, but Jack opened his mouth before I could.
“Dude, no. I’m just not into guys. What was Trynian gonna do while we tag teamed?”
“Why don’t you tell me?”
There was a long silence while Matt looked at Jack. He had this mischievous look on his face, like he and Jack knew something the rest of us didn’t, and my curiosity was beginning to get the better of me.
“Do you two need a room to discuss this?” Connor finally said.
“Nope.” Matt said with a smile, “Never mind.”
“Wait, what?” I licked the blood on my teeth, “Is there something you wanna say.”
“Not really, no.” Matt said, still smiling at Jack.
It suddenly dawned on me exactly what he was getting at, and I was kind of a little put off. There had been a rumor flying around at school a few months ago about Jack and Matt that they had done stuff together, which they had of course denied to everyone, including Connor and I, profusely. Both of us had taken their word for it at the time, but now I found myself doubting. So, being 15 and something of a drama king, I started to feel like I was going to be sick. It wasn't really that they had fooled around as much as it was that I wasn't Matt's first choice. I had literally been dreaming about him for years, and he had had every opportunity to make the moves on me, and he had gone for Jack instead... how did that even happen, anyways? What was the context under which Jack, who up until that moment seemed to be straight as the Iron Rod itself, was willing to get frisky with Matt?
Frankly, it didn't matter. My mind started to peel through all the different times that I had hung out with Matt, and I started to realize that he had been hitting on me all along—I was just too insecure to realize it, and he had ended up going for someone else… one of our best friends. AH! It was maddening. How could I be so fuckin' stupid? I thought.
“It's ok...” I sighed, self-sacrificially, “You guys enjoy each other.”
I got up and started walking.
“What man?” Matt said; he didn't seem to understand.
I kept walking though. I didn't want to talk to him, or any of them, really. As I walked I felt my shoulder and my knees sting, but I told myself I could worry about all that later.
The canyon got dimmer as I walked up it, the walls towered higher, and the vegetation started to get denser on the sides of the bone dry riverbank, somehow. I wasn't familiar with any of the plants really, except for the skinny cottonwoods that ran along the shoreline. There was no breeze in the canyon, strangely enough, and so it seemed as though I would never be able to escape the voices of my friends who were all chattering about what was 'up my ass'. I heard Matt say that I was jealous, and then I heard Connor say 'no shit', but I started singing to myself as I walked so I couldn't hear anything after that.
Portobello Road! Portobello Road! Street where the riches, of ages are stowed. Anything and everything a chap can unload, is sold off the barrow in Portobello Road. You’ll find what you want in the Portobello Road!” It was a song from an old musical my mom used to sing me when I was little to get me to go to sleep, and I kept on singing until I couldn't hear their voices clearly enough to be able to tell what they were saying, “Rare alabaster! Genuine plaster! A filigreed samovar owned by the czars! A pen used by Shelley! A new Boticelli. The snippers that clipped old King Edward’s cigars!
I sat down on a cold hunk of sandstone and stared at the sand. The more I thought about Jack on his knees, with his mouth wrapped around Matt’s junk, the more intense the burning feeling in my chest got. Then I thought about how Matt had all but offered to give me what I'd wanted from him for years, like it was some cheap bit of fun, I got this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. How noble. He never wants me to be left out of anything. I thought to myself, sarcastically. Matt had a long history of making sure that I felt involved in the group. He was, after all, my original friend in the Tri Cities. When I moved there in the 6th grade from Ellensburg, he was actually the very first kid at school to talk to me. Hey!a\ Are you the new kid? I could still see him in his Carmichael Middle School hoodie. Can I sit here? He asked me.
I was sitting alone in the cafeteria.
Sure. I said.
Thanks dude. He sat down and started eating his lunch.
I couldn't remember what we were eating, though. I can still remember those little blue and white paper milk cartons, and I remember that his had been pink—he had gotten the strawberry milk. I remember that because it was our first conversation.
You got the pink kind? I said it so condescendingly, like it was dog food.
Ummm... yeah. It's strawberry...? He looked at me, his face crinkled. You've never seen strawberry milk before?
Of course I had. I wasn't home schooled. I just thought strawberry milk was gross.
Yeah, I have. I've just never had it before.
Do you want some?
Ok.
Thinking about it made my eyes teary. Then I remembered how Matt had defended me to Victor when I had come out to all of them.
See, our group of four had originally been a group of five. Victor Ruiz was the one that had actually got the entire group together back in 8th grade when I met him in algebra class. He had convinced me to try out for soccer freshman year. Before that, it had just been me and Matt. We were all best friends from then on, until the summer of freshman and sophomore year that I came out to them in confidence, and Victor flipped a bitch. He started accusing me of having been creeping on all four of them since the get go, and using sports as an opportunity to check everyone out in various states of undress. The latter claim wasn't entirely inaccurate, but really, what's a kid in that position supposed to do? I mean... really? If you were a straight guy in the locker room with a bunch of girls, and they all assumed you were gay and started changing in front of you... would you stop them? Would you speak up? I don't think so.
But Victor took this normal teenage voyeurism, and like many kids at the time did, turned it into something sinister. After I came out, to them, he quickly spread the news around the whole school, and it wasn't that long before everyone on the soccer team I had played on for years was questioning whether they were 'comfortable' playing with me. By the time the season rolled around, some of the parents of my teammates had gone so far as to ask coach to buy jersey's for scrimmages so we wouldn't have to play 'shirts and skins'... if I was still going to be on the team, that was.
Coach was great about the whole thing. He told all of the parents to piss up a rope, and that soccer practice would continue as normal whether I was on the team or off it. But it was also cuz of coach barring Victor from the team that all of the drama that I had worked very hard at containing all year finally got back to my parents. Victor's parents, like mine, had no idea what was happening at school. So, when Victor told them that coach wasn't going to allow him on the team, they were understandably furious. It was only when they called my parents to see if Victor and I could settle the issue so he could play that my parents finally heard about it... a long time before I was really ready to tell them... and that's when Matt lost it. The next day at school, when I told him before class that my parents knew everything, he marched across the hall into Victor's and my Spanish Class and beat his ass right there, in front of Mr. Davis, the Spanish Teacher, and Mr. Balzeretti, the principle. Of course, they moved as quick as they could to stop him, but by the time they pulled Matt off of him, Victor had left a bloody mess all over his desk.
What was it all for? I thought. A meaningless fuck between friends?
I told myself to buck up, and that I was being melodramatic. But it was a little hard. I seriously wanted to cry, but I wasn't going to let myself. If I cried, then everyone would be able to see once I got back to camp, and I didn't want them to think I was some bitch. I dried my eyes with the hair on my arm and wiggled the flies off my shoulder and knees that had piled up since I stopped moving for my little trip down memory lane.
As I stood up, I realized that I must have been sitting there for an hour at least, with the way what little bits of sky were visible had already turned purple and yellow. The failing light was contrasting something in the sand that I hadn't noticed before, however—animal tracks. Had they been smaller, I would've completely disregarded them, since I knew that coyotes were pretty much harmless, but the size was a little off-putting. They were waaaaay too big to be coyote tracks, and the way the front paws seemed to walk on their toes while the back paws walked on the soles of their feet made it impossible for them to belong to a cougar either, since cougars walk on their toes.
Maybe... a bear? A black bear? I knew that Utah was full of black bears, but this didn't exactly strike me like the kind of place that had enough vegetation and large mammals to support black bears. Even then, bears always walk on the soles of their feet... don't they? Bears don't have thumbs. I thought, looking at the tracks made by the hind paws. I was no expert tracker, but I had spent enough time hunting deer, elk, ducks, and geese in the back country with my dad to know the tracks that I needed to watch out for, and the arrangement of the digits was all wrong for a bear.
“What the fuck...?” I decided to follow the tracks down the ravine a bit, but I didn't get very far.
My nose became infested with this really potent smell—it was almost like butterscotch, but with a tinge of urine. My heart started beating at a thousands beats a minute, and I could almost feel my balls shrinking to the size of raisins as I inhaled the odor. It hadn't occurred to me how utterly helpless I was, standing there in the open until then. I wasn't wearing anything but gym shorts, socks, and hiking boots. The Smith and Wesson 500 was with Derek, and my CUTCO Hunting Knife was back in my pack. When I followed the tracks with my eyes I saw that they had left the ravine and gone into some cottonwoods on the shore. Then there was total silence. Not even the sound of an insect's wings, or a lizard in the dirt—nothing. My eyes were fixed on the cottonwoods, but whatever was hiding in them knew what it was doing, cuz I couldn't see anything. I could definitely feel it, though. It's a hard feeling to describe, when you know you're being watched by a predator. The world kind of stands still, and everything you ever thought about your own strength dissipates. You're suddenly very aware of how small you are, of how slow you are, of how weak you are. You don’t have claws or big teeth. Just your brain, and so you start to calculate your options. The more you do, the more you realize that they all suck. You can stand your ground, and hope that whatever predator you're dealing with is the kind that is going to be fooled by something like that, or you can run away, and hope that it's slow—though the moment you turn your back to a predator, you become prey. I started to slide my feet back slowly, keeping my eyes fixed on the trees, hoping that even though I couldn't see it, it could see me, and that I wasn't afraid... even though I was terrified.
Then I saw it. What I had previously thought was a shadow being cast by one of the rocks on the wall of the canyon stood up and charged at me. Before I could even think I ran toward it with my arms open, screaming at the top of my lungs. It stopped dead in its tracks and stared at me through sapphire eyes and roared, a piercing, bellowing roar that made my ears ring. I stood there, frozen, while it stood on its hind legs and roared again—we stood eye to eye. Then it came back down on all fours and tossed up some sand with its forepaws as it growled. I flinched, but I didn't move. It spat at me and barked, almost like an elk, and then it started to hiss, its ears down and the hair on its neck standing up, and then it moved from side to side.
I don't know how long it was that I stood there as it growled, roared, spat, barked, and hissed, but it felt like an eternity. All the while I kept my eyes locked on its eyes, its blue eyes, like nothing I had ever seen before. I wasn't staring in its eyes because I was trying to stand my ground, or stare it down—truth be told, all rational thought had left me at that point. Everything I had ever been seemed to be stripped away, and all I could think about was the moment.
Finally it turned its eyes downward and lowered its head, and just like that, it trotted off into the trees. Even though it was gone, I stood perfectly still for a while, my heart still racing, drenched in sweat, until I heard the voices of my friends down the canyon.
“Trynian! Trynian!” They were calling.
They sounded panicked, but I didn't answer them—I couldn't speak. I suddenly felt a warmth between my legs, and I looked down, only to see that I must have pissed myself during the whole encounter. I touched my groin to make sure, but as soon as I did I noticed a trickle down my leg. Somehow, I couldn't even bring myself to be ashamed. All I could think of was the fact that I was miraculously still alive.
“Trynian!” That was Derek's voice; they were getting closer.
It was maybe a minute more before I heard them coming up behind me, but I was still staring into the trees when I felt him grab my arm.
“Trynian! Thank god... thank god, man. Are you ok?”
I didn't answer. He snapped his fingers in my face and asked me again, but I just kept staring.
“What's up, man? What's the matter?” He looked over to the trees, “What are you lookin' at? What's in the trees?”
I stood still, and Connor pointed out the tracks, “Look!”
“What... what is that? Are those from a bear? Trynian, was it a bear?” Matt stood in front of me, trying to get my attention.
I shook my head, “It's not a bear.”
“Well, what was it then?” He asked; he sounded afraid.
“Not a bear...” I told him.
“These look like bear tracks, man...” Connor said, doubtfully.
“It's not a bear.” I said, quietly.
Derek squatted down to take a look. He wasn't at all an expert, but he was right to be confused, just the same as I had been.
“Do bears have... thumbs?” He said, at long last, looking at Connor.
“No...”
“Well then those ain't bear tracks.”
“Maybe it's deformed?” Connor stood up and looked at me, “Are you sure it wasn't a bear?”
I swallowed, and then I looked back at him.
“I'm positive.”
“Then what was it?”
“I don't know...”
I heard the subtle click of the hammer of a pistol being pulled into full-cock, and I looked at Derek to see that he had the Smith and Wesson 500 in both hands.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!” I reached for him, frantically, but Matt and Connor were in my way, “Please don't, Derek! Please! Please? Let's just go. Let's fuckin' go, man! Please, let's just go!”
He didn't move his eyes off the trees.
“I can see it...” He said, and then everybody looked.
Sure enough, behind the cottonwoods, I could see it too. It was difficult to make out the image of its body, but you could see it pacing back and forth in the brush, and I could hear it growling. I started to get this really eery feeling that almost made me sick, and my chest started to tingle.
“Guys.” His voice was quiet now, “Run.”
I didn't need to be told twice. I whipped around and started running as fast as I could, ignoring the pain from my injuries, and whether or not anybody else was coming with. If I had had a tail, it would surely have been between my legs, but I didn't really care. I heard another elk-like bark, followed by the same low hiss, then I heard a spitting noise, and I picked up my pace. My friends followed me, but they were far behind me, and somehow that didn't concern me at all. All I could think about was getting the fuck out of that canyon. But before I got back to the spot that we had left our packs, I heard the sound of two gunshots. I stopped immediately, so quickly that it almost made me trip, and I looked back up the canyon. That's the only brother you have left. Are you gonna leave him? I thought. Derek might not have been my blood, but since our parents had gotten married, he had been everything to me that a brother should have been—was I going to leave him to die? Cowboy the fuck up! My mind was screaming at me, but I couldn't move, all I could do was scream, “Derek! Derek!”
There was no answer. But there wasn't any sound, either. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my friends' boots on the sand and the rocks. My eyes started to fill with tears, and I gasped for air. It was as if I had literally been hit in the stomach with an aluminum baseball bat, and I collapsed. My friends caught up to me, and they all stopped, and started calling his name, one after the other.
“Derek! Derek! Derek!”
Their calls faded slowly as they realized that no answer was coming. The silence that ensued was deafening. I could hear their heavy breathing, the movement of their feet on the ground, and the distortion of the air as it twisted around them as they moved their heads as if to catch some kind of sound from the right angle. I heard myself, wheezing, and I could feel my heart beating in my eyes. I couldn't see, I couldn't think, and I couldn't breathe.
“What?!” His voice echoed off the red walls.
I heard my friends sigh with relief, and then they started to laugh, but I didn't even notice until Matt turned around and saw me in the state that I was, on my knees and hunched over, my face almost in the sand.
“Trynian, Trynian! Listen!” He put his hand on my shoulder, my scraped shoulder.
The pain was what made me sit up.
“Are you alive?” Connor called down the canyon.
It was quiet for a moment, but then I heard the answer.
“Well… no shit!”
My breathing started to slow, and I smiled, awkwardly.
“He's alive, man!” Matt told me.
“Are you ok?” Connor called again.
“I'm fine!” Derek yelled back, “But my wrist is a little fucked up. No wrist-brace my ass.”
I started laughing. I recalled the discussion we had had with my stepdad shortly before leaving about which gun to take. Derek had seemed convinced that his LMTD Luger 1908 Parabellum was enough to stop a cougar, which had made both my stepdad and I bust up laughing. Your mom must have dropped you on your head too many damn times if you think some puny ass World War I pistol is about to be stoppin' a damned mountain lion. You think animals come apart as easy people? Take the damn Smith and Wesson. Derek had objected that Arnold Schwarzenegger had broken his wrist firing one, and Terry and I had reassured him that that was only because the ex-governor of California hadn't worn a wrist-brace with the short barrel. The longer barrel takes the kick, dude. It'll be fine. I told him.
“Yeah, it's real fuckin' funny!” I heard him yell back.
He was running back to us; I could hear his footsteps and the shortness in his breath. As soon as he was in view of all of us he started to slow down for a second to catch some breath to speak.
“Ummm... did we all not just see that? Did that thing look like a bitch? What the fuck are y'all doin' sittin' here on yer asses? Fuckin' move!”
I of course ignored him, I was so happy to see him. I ran right up to him and jumped at him, which ended up knocking the two of us over.
“I love you so much dude! I love you! I'm sorry I left you back there...”
“What the fuck are you doin' man?” He yelled at me, “I got a god damn gun in my hands and you come runnin' at me layin' my ass out when there's a rabid ass who-the-fuck-knows-what-the-hell-kinda-animal-it-is just up the canyon? I love you too man, but getch’ yer dumb ass up and run!”
He was on his feet before I was, pistol in hand, grabbing me by my wounded arm and pulling me to mine.
“Move! Move god damn it! I'll fuckin' shoot all four of you if y'all don't fuckin' move!”
He pushed me, hard, but I listened this time. We ran all the way back to camp and had our packs over our shoulders before we even knew where we were going and were headed down the canyon as fast as our feet could carry us with thirty plus pounds on our backs. The width of the riverbank didn't help though. Most of he time, the riverbank was either right up to the walls of the canyon, or the shore was so overgrown with tamarisks and cottonwoods for it to have been worth trying to run along. Though, even when the trees weren't too thick, I think everyone else was as afraid as I was of running in them, but I was especially, after what I had just seen. The riverbank was made of soft red sand, making it all the harder to run in when you're wearing hiking boots and trying to carry a pack. I think we ran for about a half hour before we found an access out of the canyon that first led to this massive overhang that definitely seemed like the kind of place that an animal wouldn't be able to easily access. That is, until we saw the cow-pies on top of it. How cows got up there, I really couldn't tell you, because we had had to climb vertically to get on top of that overhang, but the dried gray piles of cow shit spoke no lies—somehow the overhang was accessible to large, quadrupedal mammals, with hooves no less. If cows could get there with their hooves, then so too could whatever the hell it was that Derek and I had just seen with its thumbs. We decided to take the access all the way out. It was so steep that we actually had to pass packs, which made us fairly confident that any animal that was hellbent on eating us alive probably wasn't going to be able to come at us from there... even if it had thumbs.
“Fuck it! I'm done!” Derek said at last, gasping for air, “If that thing wants to eat me, it can have me.”
He sat down in the soft, warm sand and reached for his water bottle, but I wasn't good to stop.
“Dude, fuck no. Get up dude... please?” I tried to grab his arm, but he just jerked it away.
“Fuck yes! I’m not moving. I'm done.”
“Dude, please!”
“No!” He yelled back.
Come to think of it, wasn't I the one who was defending his slow descent down the Dune of Doom earlier?
“There's gotta be a kiva around here, or something...” I said, but I knew that that was a dumb possibility to be holding out hope for.
We had seen maybe three or four kivas on our trek through the desert thus far, only one of which was positioned under an overhang, which was ideal for a defensive position, but it was miles away and we might be looking all night long for another one.
“You wanna get lost, dude?” He looked up at me; I knew he was right, “No? Neither do I. Not this far from civilization. Who's down to hang tight here?”
My friends were all gasping, and I don't think any of them were feeling the same sense of urgency I was, but I was utterly fuckin' terrified.
“Dude, as long as we have a fire, and we stick together, I think we'll be fine.” Connor said, “Bears are usually pretty skittish, right?”
“It’s NOT a fucking bear! I told you!”
If I had seen a cougar, or a bear, I would say that he had a point. We had a Smith and Wesson 500 with us, after all, the bullets of which are enough, theoretically, to stop an elephant. But what I had seen was neither, and it had literally scared the piss out of me, and nothing had ever scared the piss out of me before. I had no idea what it was, no frame of reference for its behavior. Was it skittish of people, like bears and cougars? Was it scared of groups? Would it follow our trail up the canyon? How good of a climber was it? How smart was it? Was it just going to wait until we were all asleep and then dragged one of us off? If it tried, we'd blow its fuckin' head off, obviously. But we were too far away from a hospital or cellphone reception for that risk to seem worth it. If somebody got attacked, even if it just bit his foot, he would have to walk on that foot all the way back to the car, and we didn't really have the equipment in our first aid kit to deal with an injury like that.
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2020.11.10 22:43 500scnds [Table] r/books — I am Allie Brosh. My main abilities include writing, drawing, caring, and hiding, but you can ask me whatever you want. AMA (pt 1/2)

Source
Questions Answers
the below has been split into four
Hi Allie! I have a couple questions and not a lot of tact. I also have a lot of gratitude for you because you've been a (a, itself, or a source of, whichever) tether more than once, so thanks! 1. How are you handling all this everything since you announced your aliveness publicly? Thank you for asking these! They're great questions! I'm doing better than I thought I'd be doing at this point, so that's good. Having trouble sleeping sometimes because I get too amped up, and my hiding instincts start come on strong, but overall it has been a pleasant, interesting experience. You guys are very kind and understanding toward me, and I feel tremendous gratitude for that.
2. You talk about trying and keep on keeping on quite a bit - my longest relationship has been with depression, and while I'm not suicidal, I'm often just tired, so I have to ask... how do you keep up with trying? I've been considering pure spite, but I'm super open to other options. This is a particularly good question, and I'm still kind of trying to answer it myself, but I think, at some point, it became clear that trying was the only logical action I could take from the position I was in. Because if I don't try, my situation is left completely up to chance, and it may never improve. Will I succeed? Who knows! Trying is the only guarantee. It's the only strategy I can rely on pretty much no matter what (because it doesn't depend on results—the process itself counts, and it can be modified and improved constantly). That being said, trying can be exhausting. And it can be frustrating. And it doesn't always feel very rewarding, so I have to try to create that sense of reward for myself. One thing I've been doing recently is pausing to internally celebrate my little, invisible personal victories. I'm usually the only one who could understand how hard they were, so it's my job to recognize the effort. If I did something hard—and I mean that relatively, because there are a lot of things that are hard for me that aren't necessarily hard for others—I take a moment to recognize my efforts. Yeah, it was fucking UNBELIEVABLY hard to summon the willpower to walk to the mailbox today. Good job, me for doing it anyway! That kind of thing.
3. Can you please elaborate on the simple dog? Specifically, is the simple dog simply a strange dog, or does the simple dog have a diagnosis? The simple dog was never diagnosed officially, though our vet agreed that she seemed to have some cognitive quirks (just the way she relates to the world seems kind of different—the things she gets confused by, the body postures she assumes, etc.).
4. Do you have anything you hope someone asks? That is it. I think. Thank you! Yes. I think I was secretly hoping somebody would ask me what my favorite Hearthstone class is, because then I could ask them to guess, and I'd get to find out what class I seem like I would play. It's silly, but that's my real answer (or one of them, at least).
the below is a reply to the above
I know little to nothing about Hearthstone, but I choose to believe you're the beastmaster one or whatever it's called. As a thank you for this AMA and for being you (the Alot holds a special place in my heart for a multitude of reasons that I can't/won't list here), please enjoy a picture of my dog. https://i.imgur.com/XqCvaeM.jpg PoV: you just coughed and Tucker is now trying to lick the inside of your mouth. It's Rogue, but your dog is making me reconsider the whole beastmaster situation... basically, I want to touch your dog. With tremendous strength. But I would restrain myself, because I could never harm such a gentle creature.
the below is another reply to the original answer
It’s Paladin, isn’t it? I feel like you didn’t come out and say it because it’s Paladin and you are rightfully ashamed (it’s ok I played nothing but face hunter for most of my time in the game, I have no room to judge!) Nope, it's Rogue! I'm sneaky like that ;) (Thank you for guessing. This was very fun for me.)
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Let’s keep going! What’s your favorite neutral hearthstone card of all time? As a warrior main I loved Grim Patron, there were so many crazy interactions you could have in a single turn with it that just getting it on the board and getting a few whirlwinds in felt fun, even if I never felt like I played it optimally. Second place for me goes to the Azure Drake, it was one of the first golden cards I got and it just seemed to fit in every deck for a long time! I still keep the golden drake in my hall of fame, I refuse to disenchant him :) Ooooo, good question! I'm gonna need to break it down into categories to answer, though. Art-wise, Faerie Dragon is, and always will be, my jam. I like Wild Pyromancer a lot for his versatility (though I don't often get to play him in Rogue decks), and Leeroy Jenkins because I have probably played Leeroy Jenkins more than any other card when you count replaying after Shadowstep (which is my favorite card, period). Leeroy is just kind of my buddy at this point, and I will always miss him. I have a lot of cards I refuse to disenchant too. Twilight Drake, for example. And my original set of non-golden Mana Wyrms (I played a ton of Secret Mage back around Kobolds and Catacombs). Warrior is way up there on my favorite classes list. I never got to play patron warrior, but I hear it was, like, a transcendent experience, and I love decks that have many lines of play to choose from (hence my love of the Rogue class—it's like a decision-making simulator!) What's your favorite voice-line?
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what's your favorite Hearthstone class? I've been following your stories since like 2012, so thats pretty cool Rogue :)
Do you play? If so, what's your favorite class? (I like learning about why people like the classes they do. It helps me appreciate things about the classes I don't play as often)
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Hi Allie (or Kevin!) Hyperbole and a Half blogspot kept me alive through some very dark times in the beginning of my university career and I’ll always be thankful for it & you. I’m so excited to read Solutions! I’m so, so happy you’re back and writing/posting. Here are some questions, please feel free to answer any number of them or none of them at your whim. Apologies for the wide variety of topics: 1. Would you ever consider writing/publishing fiction, a novel? No need to apologize! I actually kind of like the variety ones. I don't know why—maybe I'm responding to the bulleted presentation? Anyhow. I would, and I fully intend to one day!
2. You must pick one: diarrhea or vomiting. Which one? Diarrhea 100%, no questions.
3. What’s your McDonald’s order? If you don’t eat McDonalds, first of all why, second of all I’ll take any fast food or restaurant order for an answer. I am medically forbidden from eating at McDonald's (celiac disease), but, before I was diagnosed, I would have ordered a Big Mac, medium fries, and a water. My taste in food is one of my most basic qualities, and I accept it.
4. What kind of animal that is not a pet would you want as a pet? I've always wanted a fox, but that's probably because I have unreasonable expectations about what foxes would be like as pets. Also a dragon. Do dragons count?
5. Favourite painting Thank you, you’re the best, hope you have a wonderful night. Oh god... I love so many paintings! I have folders and folders full of screenshots of paintings I like (purely for my own enrichment), but I don't know who hardly any of the artists are. I will say that I am particularly grateful to Simon Stålenhag https://www.simonstalenhag.se/ and I have spent countless hours analyzing his brushstrokes at an absolutely ridiculous zoom level. He doesn't know this, but he has been a living art syllabus for me.
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Please tell me you’ve seen Tales from the Loop!! My coffee cup is currently resting atop the copy I keep on my bed :)
Hey, Allie! I know you’ve probably heard it a lot but Hyperbole and a Half really changed my life. I had never related and resonated with something so deeply. I was like... how am I just like her? In so many ways? You explained my depression in ways I could never put in to words. I’m working my way through Solutions and Other Problems and you have had me laughing out loud multiple times. I can’t thank you enough for bringing me joy (during such high anxiety times, but also always lol), but also making me feel less alone and less like a crazy person. Also, not to be a downer in the chat, but I lost my sister earlier this year and dealing with the grief and guilt has been hard. I know you lost yours, too, and I hope you’re doing as well as you can be in that regard. I’m sorry for your loss. On a lighter note, what is your favorite smell? And what are you looking forward to doing most once quarantine is over? Thanks again, Allie! ETA: I also love Magic the Gathering. What is your favorite deck of yours? Mine is an all white fox themed deck. I feel you, and I completely understand, especially the guilt part (we don't need to talk about only lighter things here). It's hard not to question what more you could have done, or whether you were a good sister (or brother). I don't know how to fix it, but I want you to know I understand <3
Are you ready for an abrupt transition? Hopefully you are, because I'm going to tell you my favorite smell now, which is dry leaves on a hot, dry day (at least currently—I love smells).
My favorite Magic deck would have to be Tarmo Twin or UB Fae from six years ago. But foxes are my favorite tribe! Foxes are just cool.
Hi Allie!! Many years ago when I was a young teen who got her heart broken, I reached out to you on Facebook and we had some intermittent correspondence about heartbreak, love, healing, and life in general. We also spoke briefly on OPB a few years ago and I got the chance to thank you for that. I want to thank you again for your kindness and inspiration and for always making me laugh. I’m so happy to see you’ve made it though your own heartbreak and darkness. ❤️ For a question: when did you first realize you were funny? And what’s your favorite kind of dog? Nicole! I was actually just telling my husband about our correspondences, and I'm delighted to encounter you here! How are things these days? To answer your questions, I don't think it was a realization—more of a learning process. I have always been better at appreciating humor than generating it, so I had to learn how to do it by watching others. But I suppose there was a point where I realized I was getting there... maybe the first time I made my childhood friend Joey laugh? Joey is extremely funny, and his tastes are very specific. Also, he is brutally honest and loves making fun of me (we have a very sibling-like friendship). So it felt like a MAJOR accomplishment to make him laugh with me instead of at me.
My favorite kind of dog would probably be... whatever kind of dog loves laying around and hanging out. Also maybe the dog loves me. And we go on slow adventures together.
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Well that just made my whole day! Life is good! The boy who broke my heart back then continued to for many years, as boys do. I’ve since moved on and have a very sweet boyfriend who checks all the boxes on the list you advised I make of what I’m looking for in a partner. I cherish your advice to this day and am so thankful for it! Thank you so much for answering! I think the Joey benchmark is a good one. It must be wild to know you’ve made millions laugh since then! Lazy, loving dogs are truly the best. I’ve got one of my own, she’s both a red heeler and a heart healer. I’m so so glad you’ve returned to the internet. I’m sorry for the rough times you’ve had in the meantime and I sincerely wish you the best!! The universe has really neat ways of connecting humans and I feel very fortunate that our paths have crossed in the ways they have :) This warms my heart in the best possible way. Would it be weird to say I'm proud of you? It sounds like you're doing great, and you sound so grounded and assured in yourself now, and I remember how hard things were when we first became pen-pals, so it's really cool to see where you are now, a full decade later :)
I have been a huge fan since your early blog days and I am so happy for your continued success!! My copy of your new book is arriving any minute now. I wanted to know how you’ve been coping during quarantine. I struggle with depression and anxiety and this pandemic hasn’t made my brain feel too great. What helps you feel grounded in your toughest days? Sorry if this is too personal! Not too personal at all! I welcome personal questions, and I believe it should be easier to talk about them than it currently is! To answer your question, I cope with very deep loneliness by having written conversations with myself (among other things, but that's been a huge one). I have a document called "talkin' bout shit with myself," and I open it, and just ask myself how I'm doing. Then I do my best to respond as honestly as possible. Then I just keep going like that. It usually starts out extremely serious, then derails into inside jokes. I can post an excerpt if you'd like.
Other things I've found helpful (in no particular order): music + imagining happy/inspirational experiences I would like to have, talking to myself, learning things (it feels like participating in an activity with yourself, which is kind of like participating in an activity with a friend), and honestly, giving my own shoulder a friendly squeeze when it seems like I need that. I'm trying to be a good friend, and sometimes that means doing whatever weird thing it seems like I need.
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Personally an excerpt would be unbelievably helpful! Okay, here's my favorite one so far (I never bother putting the quotation marks in because it's just me, but it switches back and forth with each new line):
(6/4/17 11:56 PM)
Hey bud, how ya doin?
I feel weird.
Oh shit buddy, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you okay?
Probably, yeah. I don't know. I feel weirder than usual. Maybe I only said yeah because it seemed like I was supposed to. Not being okay isn't cool. That feels like… a loser.
Do you feel like a loser?
Yeah.
Why?
I'm too earnest. I try too hard.
Wh—
—hang on; there's more: am I stupid? Do I even make sense? When people see me, do they feel alienated? Do I seem like an alien? I honestly feel like I might. Like a… something weird. Like a land squid. They see me and don't know what to do. They think 'what is that?' Do they want me to go away? I start wondering that, and it brings up the question: is that what they felt like every time? Like the times I thought they were thinking "that is a nice other person" or "good for you, little camper"—I like to think they're thinking that——not exactly those words, but something friendly like that——like they want the best for me and each other—but what if instead, they just think I'm weird? What if they think "that is a weird other person" or "NOT good for you, weirdo crab animal! Go away!!"? Do they think I act like a crab?
—hold up, what do you mean by "do they think I act like a crab"?
You know the way crabs are? Like: ck-ck-ck-ck-ck-ck, ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, sideways crawling away with their eyes like ⊙.☉?
Yeah.
Sometimes I feel like I seem like that. Like when they see me, that's the impression they get. And not like, in a good way. It's awkward. They don't like it. Sometimes I wonder if anybody knows how to like eaCH OTHER—oh no, CAPS LOCK. I feel embarrassed. Why do I feel embarrassed? "o shIT
—hang on, I have an idea. You know how much you love that one meme?
What meme?
You know what the fuck I'm talking about. The one like 'here come dat boi!!!! o shit whaddup!'. This:
https://imgur.com/a/2dU6x5R
I knew the whole time. It just felt awkward without a segue. Like people reading this wouldn't believe that I knew.
Okay. My point is: I think that meme might actually be profound.
Sweet.
What do you think?
I think… yeah. I like that lizard.
It's a frog. But, yeah, the reason you like it is because it's relatable, and the way it's relatable is… the exact essence of… something.
Maybe everybody feels like that frog sometimes.
That's why it's a meme. Because other people like it too. And probably for some of the same reasons. It's not like you've got a monopoly on feeling like a frog on a unicycle.
He's a frog, but everybody's still like "here come dat boi!!! o shit whaddup!" I love the part where it goes like: 'o shit whaddup!'.
Tell me what you love about it.
I want to see everybody like that and them see me like that. Like, when I see them, I want to feel like 'o shit, whaddup!', and they feel that for me too. We're all basically lizards on unicycles, and that's okay. We're ALL lizards on unicycles. So it's okay. And we don't have to be embarrassed. We can just be like 'o shit, whaddup!'
It's a frog.
O shit.
Look at you—look how cool you are!
Good point. I feel better.
Nice.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Are you a wizard?
Are you asking that because I made you feel better in a similar way to a wizard?
Yeah.
No, I just know how much you love that frog meme. When you typed 'o shIT', I took it as a signal that you wanted to see the frog meme.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
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I would love to eat mushrooms with you and be frogs on unicycles for a while. I hope that's not alarming. I mean it in the most platonic frog-friend way. That sounds pretty much exactly like my ideal day, so definitely not alarming!
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This is amazing and I'm totally going to try doing this for myself. Also I agree with the other comment, I would like to do mushrooms with you and think about lizards. Are we planning a party? Because, as soon as quarantine is over, that is the party I want to go to.
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Can I come to this party too? Sounds right up my street. Of course you can come to the party! Everybody who is cool with the party and wants to be at the party is invited to the party!
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“oh shit, waddup!” would be an awesome title for an Allie Brosh book. It isn't my meme, unfortunately. I just have a deep respect for it.
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I struggle with very deep loneliness too. <3 I feel you. <3 <3 <3
Hang in there, friend. We can do this.
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I know you won't see this, but I have a document I do the same thing with. Only mine is called "What the Hell Is Going On?" Thank you for Hyperbole and a Half. Humans are social animals needing validation from other humans to develop a healthy sense of self, even the unusual introverted ones. It made me feel more validated as a human to read your book and see someone else who had a similar thinking style. Surprise!! :D I can't respond to everything you guys are saying, but I do my damnedest to read all of it!
As a social animal who needs validation interacting with hundreds or thousands of other social animals who also need validation, it's the least I can do.
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Have you ever had your toes sucked? Yes, and it wasn't really my thing, but I think it's rad that other folks seem to enjoy it!
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I don't know who put baby in a corner, but nobody puts baby in a corner... Hello, Reading your recent Slate interview, I notice coffee as an important part of your day. * What and/or which coffee maker do you use? Percolated? Brewed? Pressed? Medium roast? Dark? Espresso? Gonna answer them in order, guy. Here we go: I had a cheap coffee maker at one point, but now I just put the grounds in a cup and brew it in the microwave . Turkish coffee. Or that's what I'm calling it, at least.
* What is your dream coffeemaker? Where are great coffee shops you would recommend? My dream coffee maker would be one that intuits my every need and can act as a benevolent caretaker in times of distress. I would obviously return the favor to the best of my ability (though I do not currently know how to read minds).
* Do you enjoy shooting firearms? If not, have you tried shooting firearms? If yes, which were your favorite? I do not know whether I enjoy shooting firearms because I have not tried it yet, but I intend to try it someday, and I quite enjoy shooting arrows. Arrows are my jam.
* Also, thank you for Today's Taco Tip...guess who's making a trip to Taco Bell? Time's up...This guy! I'm not sure if I'll get a Double Decker Taco or just regular tacos, but rest assured...I will eat them in your honor. My guess for who is making a trip to Taco Bell is Spider Man.
Thank you.
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Scoundrelic: I am very curious about this technique... Is there a youtube video of someone doing this I can learn from? TheSaulK: I also drink this coffee. The method goes as follows- You put grounds in a cup, then you put water in the same cup, then you put that cup in the microwave. Then you use the microwave in a microwavey fashion. Bam. Coffee. Note this method yields "chewy coffee" on the bottom quarter inch or so. I think what Kevin is trying to say here is that one day our coffee maker broke, and I haphazardly came up with what I thought would be a temporary backup plan, but it became less and less temporary, and here we are.
I'm sure there are videos on how to do it the proper way, though.
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Allie! I was literally browsing your blog not 30 minutes ago because I wanted to relive your relatability. Had no idea you'd be here doing an AMA! The universe smiles upon me. 1) What's your favorite kind of sandwich? 1) Favorite sandwich is tacos, and, before anyone asks: yes, I believe tacos qualify as a sandwich. And I can argue my case if necessary.
2) Are you doing okay? This year has been a doozy, especially those of us with histories of anxiety/depression. I applaud you for getting a book out this year. Today I could barely pull myself out of bed (haha! Such lighthearted banter! I'm so good at this!) 2) For the most part, yes. I still have depressive episodes, and struggle with anxiety, but I'm getting better at coping. And the heavy stuff is just as legitimate as the lighthearted banter. The world is crazy, and life is full of pain, and maybe if we talk about the heavy stuff enough, we'll find a way to be more lighthearted about those dark moments. Thank you for being willing to share your experience!
3) What song(s) are you jamming to right now? 3) Song currently playing in my headphones: Changes by Tupac. Before that, it was The Quiet Earth by somebody named Thomas Barrandon, and before that, it was Idioteque by Radiohead. I can link the whole playlist if somebody can tell me how to do that (I use Spotify and/or YouTube)
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All three of those songs are amazing! If you could link a Spotify or YouTube playlist, that would be rad. In Spotify go to said playlist, click on the three dots above the first song. Make sure you mark the playlist as public and after that click share and you should get a link you can copy :) Okay, here it is! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4TEpH4eEI9nu6P7x11Jb0O?si=blRqP-zMQZelTfOSWx2W2g Thank you for helping me!
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I don't want to argue about the tacos, but I want to hear your opinion anyway. Would you like me to strawman the argument anyway? That would be helpful, yes. I believe that a taco qualifies as a sandwich, so I am naturally biased when it comes to generating counter-arguments.
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The taco is most decidedly not a sandwich. A sandwich is predicated as being something on sliced bread, or at least something acting as bread. A pita pocket is a sandwich. A hotdog is a sandwich. A taco is no more a sandwich than a tamale is, as the tortilla isn't sliced. Thank you for this rebuttal, Rootkit9208 My main objection to this argument would be 1) the assumption that the bread must be sliced (pita pockets, for instance, are not sliced—they are peeled apart), and 2) that a sandwich requires bread by definition (source: ice cream sandwiches, cracker sandwiches).
While I do not believe that tacos occupy the most central, definitional category of sandwich, I do see them as a subtype of sandwich, just like hotdogs, burgers, and any other portable food that is constructed according to the principle: Layer A
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You just proved tacos are a sandwich because you recognize the hinge as an acceptable part of the hypothetical sandwich. Taco shells are corn and you can make bread from corn. Taco shells are basically crispy bread. Yes, the hinge gets rejected as being part of a sandwich, but I would ask these people to consider whether subs qualify as sandwiches, and then, depending on the answer, to consider whether other hinged starches that contain sandwich fillings could be considered a sandwich in the same way.
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Maridiem: I want you to argue that point about Tacos so badly, if only to just read your deeper opinions on it. Also please, please share your playlist! Music is such a great way to connect to how others are feeling, for me! Songs as a way of coping with emotion is something I use all the time. If on desktop, and you have a playlist, go to the playlist, and right next to the Play button you'll find a "..." button. Click that and choose "Share", then "Copy playlist link" and put it here! redmage311: Looks like Allie's a structural rebel, ingredient neutral on the Sandwich Alignment Chart. I don't exactly know why, but I feel proud to be this chart's version of chaotic neutral.
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I would argue true neutral, depending on her preferred shape of taco. She didn't say a burrito was a sandwich (but maybe that also is true!) A soft or crunchy taco with standard taco ingredients fits within true neutral hot dog limits. Structure rebel, ingredient neutral would also include things like empanadas. Uh oh, that means a quesadilla might be a structure purist, ingredient neutral sandwich. I have feelings about that. Describe the feelings, please.
I love hyperbole and a half so much! (Stay away from me on my cake days, though... that cake is MINE). If I may ask a personal question, how are you doing with your depression? I suffer myself and your story about passing through to the stage of not giving a fuck, and laughing hysterically at a bit of food on the floor resonated with me, and I often wondered how you were doing. I still get depressed regularly (February is my usual low point), but I'm getting better at dealing with it. I find a bit of peace in accepting its presence, and it doesn't get in the way as much now that I know a bit more about how to work with it.
It also helps to know that it's somewhat cyclical. If I'm having a particularly rough time, I have enough data to know that it's probably temporary. It might take a while to get to the other side, but I've seen the other side enough times to trust it'll be there eventually. Then maybe there will be another tunnel, then another other side, and so on. But I'm learning how to be content under a wider variety of circumstances.
I am just so glad to see you’re back and that you’re doing so well. This may sound weird, but we used to talk a lot back in the day! I recognized simple dog from a real life photo on an old pet forum and commented something like “hey that looks like simple dog from hyperbole and a half!” And you slid into my pet forum dms and gave me the best news that it was the very same doggo! Honestly, this was a life highlight for me and i brag about this to all my peers. Anyway, we spoke a lot about our pet rats. I had a little lady called patches and you had a little rat called (this is going to be so incorrect and i’m already laughing) dump truck? Monster truck?? Some Sort of Lorge Truck-Like Vehicle?? POINT IS i have thought about you often over the years, always hoping you were doing well and able to live your best life, and i can’t wait to see what amazing things you’re going to do. Question: looking at where you are now, what would you tell your younger baby self to get you through the tough times? Ah yes: my beloved Elliott Megatruck! I remember both you and Patches! I loved those conversations. I met some really amazing folks on that forum. Speaking of which: fantastic question! I think, judging by what I seemed to struggle with the most, I would tell younger me that my own approval counts too. That was an extremely recent revelation! What advice would you give to younger you?
I'm so excited to be here on time that I can't think of anything insightful, so I'll go with my default icebreaker: who are your top 3 favorite fictional characters, and why? First of all: that's an ambitious-as-hell icebreaker, and I love it. Never stop swinging for the fences, man!
My favorite fictional characters would have to be Don Quixote, Wall-E, and an old witch named Bridgette, who doesn't technically exist yet, but will probably exist someday.
No for the explanation phase:
Don Quixote: I thought the book was hilarious, and it was largely because of how relatable Don Quixote (and his relationship with Sancho Panzo) seemed. I admire him as a weirdo. Weirdos are my people.
Wall-E: I love nonverbal characters, and Wall-E is a great example of that (he makes expressive noises and says a couple words here and there, but for the most part, it's just expressiveness). And he has a good, gentle heart.
Bridgette: I like a lot of things about Bridgette. Her gumption, her practicality, her willingness to be strong when somebody needs to be and nobody stronger than her is around. She's the kind of old lady I want to be when I grow up.
I...uh... I am not eloquent. Like...at all. None eloquence. But, I lost my brother 2 years ago and your new book was like a side hug and a shoulder for me while I’m still going through the grieving process. So, thank you. edit I should ask a question since I have the opportunity. Where were your most favorite places to jump over logs? First of all, I am sorry to hear that you lost your brother! I feel like after you lose a sibling, other people who have lost siblings become siblings of a sort. We are brothers/sisters in this particular kind of pain, and my heart goes out to you.
To answer your question, my most favorite place to jump over logs would be the far South side of the West Lake in Twin Lakes Park in Gunbarrel, CO. My favorite log ever is there. My other favorite places to jump over logs would be the woods uphill of biggest river crossing on the Deschutes River Trail, and the logs in the park closest to my house, which I will not name specifically, but you'd recognize what I'm saying if you saw them :P
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I'm a little disappointed you didn't name the logs specifically, so I'll do it for you: Edward Jennifer Raul If you have more than 3 logs in the park closest to you I apologize. Raul is exactly what my favorite log would be named!
I never comment on AMAs because I never catch them with the author or person still here, but on the off-chance that you read this, Allie, from the bottom of my heart, I am so happy that you are thriving, and writing! Hyperbole and a half changed my whole mindset about depression back when I first read it (when it came out). Whenever I would go back to check the blog, I would find forums of people wondering where you went or what happened. It's been decades but I've been finally dealing with my own mental health, and I'm nearly 40 (diagnosed ADHD). I'm just crying from happiness like an old sentimental fool and probably not making a lot of sense, but thank you for the laughs and the tears. Both are important. Cake is the only thing that matters. I could talk about ADHD for days, man... hit me up with some ADHD questions! Let's get speculative, even. In my opinion, this is the exact kind of situation where our ADHD is an asset rather than a hindrance. With our powers combined, maybe we can really figure some shit out, you know?
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What happens after you get diagnosed? I'm 43 and am pretty sure I have it. My mom told me I probably did growing up, but she didn't want the diagnosis or drugs to be a crutch, so I've just rolled along in life. My son was diagnosed a couple of years ago and takes some meds for it, but he doesn't love them (though he recognizes their value). As a functioning adult, or as functioning as I know how to be, I wonder what improvements are out there for me, or if I should bother. The laziness and the fear kick in, and I just ignore it again. My life substantially improved after my diagnosis (well, my second diagnosis. I was diagnosed as a child, but didn't start medication until much, much later).
As far as the particular types of improvements, medication was a game-changer for me, personally. ADHD meds have such a stereotype surrounding them (lol, speed for kids!!! hahahaha), but they truly can be tremendously beneficial for certain people.
When I'm not medicated, the amount of nonsensical information my brain bombards me with feels genuinely unbearable. I feel constantly exhausted by existing in the same space as other noisy, moving things (tree branch shadows, for instance), and I experienced so much anxiety for so long simply because I didn't know what was causing it (crazy that amphetamine salts can make a person feel LESS anxious, eh?)
You can also get things like extra time on tests (for students, obviously), and it's just generally helpful to understand what's going on with your brain. Aside from medication, that was the biggest thing for me. The most useful thing about a diagnosis is that it helps the patient learn to understand how their brain works, and how to work with their brain instead of against it. I speak with a psychiatrist every week, and we kind of strategize together how I can be a more functional person (it's probably slightly different for everybody, so it takes a lot of trial-and-error).
Anyway, ADHD is a very misunderstood condition, so it's definitely worth reading up on.
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ADHD is both my own personal superpower and also the siren singing at me constantly. What is your favorite part of ADHD? Did your relationship with it change when you discovered drugs? (non-rx, I mean) Another great question! My favorite part of ADHD (and this will come as no surprise to those who have it) would probably be hyperfocus. When I'm really interested in something, I have almost superhuman stamina (I can write or draw or learn about math or play Hearthstone for 20 hours in a row—occasionally more than that if my sleep schedule is fucked up—and I barely notice that time has passed.
And, you know, now that I think about it, I do think drugs have changed my relationship with ADHD a bit. Not necessarily in a specific sense, but my experiences with drugs (especially hallucinogens) have changed my relationship to thinking, and ADHD is highly related to thinking.
To me, drugs are a psychological sparring partner. I take them, they fuck up my perception of reality, and then I get to practice thinking and functioning under a wider variety of conditions. If I start to have a bad trip, for example, I get a lot of very extreme practice directing my attention, controlling my emotions, and also letting go of control (if necessary).
I don't think drugs are for everybody, but if having a psychological sparring partner sounds fun to you, you're probably the kind of person who would enjoy the huge variety of experiences that drugs offer. As long as you approach with an open mind, practice good drug safety, stay honest with yourself about how/why you're using them, and steer clear of the really addictive ones, drugs can be highly interesting and educational.
Allie, I just wanted to say that you're awesome. I discovered your blog when it first came out, and immediately fell in love with your humor and honesty. Then your book was released, and that was just amazing. I got your new book last week, and I'm halfway through it; I haven't finished it yet, because I'm savoring it like a...fine cheese. I do have a couple questions. When the world isn't falling apart anymore, do you think you may do an in person tour, or is that too much for you? Also: favorite sea creature. I'd consider it! At the very least, I'm trying to think of ways to expand the tour to be more accessible to more people. A Twitch stream or something. Maybe a drawing/painting stream? I don't know yet. But I want to do something more involved.
As for favorite sea creature, I'm gonna go with sea cucumber. I just kind of relate to them.
the below is a reply to the above
I personally think you are an A Cucumber. Thank you!!
Hey Allie. It's a bit early for the big life questions, so I apologize. Your new book has a lot to do with existentialism, at least to me. Were you reading or exploring any philosophy during the creation of this book, and if so, what perspectives did you find to be the most compelling and or the most defeating? Also, I really like your book. Yes, actually! And I think I identified most with absurdism. I'm not an expert on philosophy by any means (I just think about it a lot), but the ideas behind absurdism seems like a logical, healthy response to some of the questions raised by nihilism.
Initially, nihilism felt pretty defeating to me, but that's because it represented the loss of meaning. But with that loss comes freedom, and boy howdy do I enjoy freedom!
the below is a reply to the above
Absurdism is great! I'm partial to existentialism as a response to nihilism myself and have been trying to rebuild a sense of my own meaning in the world lately, but damn if it doesn't feel good to laugh at the absurdism of the world. I don't know how to phrase this in eloquent terms, but does your preference have anything to do with existentialism having more of a built-in ethical structure? I'm curious because I see that as a compelling argument for it, and also talking about philosophy with people who like philosophy is one of my favorite things.
the below is a reply to the original question
Dude, good question. I know, right? This guy cuts straight to the chase!
submitted by 500scnds to tabled [link] [comments]


2020.11.09 10:01 PelotonBot Milestone Monday: Weekly Discussion Thread

A weekly discussion thread celebrating milestones and achievements by PelotonCycle members. We talk a lot about putting in the work, training hard, working out together. Let's not forget to celebrate those hard-won achievements. Because PelotonCycle doesn't try to make you strong, beautiful, or capable. We're here to remind you that you already are.
Congratulations to all; we're proud of you!
-Mod team
PS To add your Leaderboard name on reddit, use this form
Milestones for Annual Challenge:
# Minutes Reddit Username
2000 Minutes achimhepp
Akidcalledhood
ambkam
amyruth5
antes\_de\_dormir
arghthor
aspect-creatio
banana\_bloods
barbaruh
Bbeale5
birdlion
Brown\Eyes\
canucklarrie
cellish
Chunkygirlmargherita
Cshan312
Curlsncupcakes
Dixie1337
dmikulin
Dolalu
ellezee85
FitfierceE
FrenchBulldozer
Hummusorbust
imalbundyy
jampokitty
KIVtoYVR
llamaface286
Lmmclaugh
MagnificentMuskOx
Marinamonkey89
michiewishie
misselle3
MoonMajik34
msjasmineisnice
nato325
notblueclk
proteinMeMore
Raebaebaeeee
RaulaLive
redsummersun920
reflektortron
RNurseforlife
saltfishcaptain
sarabiz
sellikhep
SnowyRider
snum
Spinning\_Lee
steidley
sterlingarchercooper
Strategy\_significant
tr00gle
vjtiff
vtmccoop
whycantifly
WilCap16
3000 Minutes Acid\_tounge
animalcamp
beachsidebaker2b
beebee1306
Bigdaz28
catiepark
Catscatskittycats
chlschmidt
choqlat
ChristinaDoes
Chubby\_N00dles
chunt75
danker
dwooldrik
EconAndWine
erogers82
FANBOYS
fpants13
Graphics\_Nerd
Hammpycamper1357
heat\_down\_to\_fifty
iamswagington
InebriatedQuail
jbjbjb5310
ktemsee
Linus310JB
Lonie27
LulaVS14
m1b1p1e6
MatthewCrawley
Meowsalynne
mittenkitten92
more\_\_better
myreplysofly
ny2dc
oakcityrosebud
pelicanfeet
puffthetragicwagon
roryroobean
Ryancrowtv
saaantiago
samgarvey
sbcmurph
sbfaster
Seinahpets
shaleyeah
sorrycharrlie625
specklesforbreakfast
stellathe\_diver
synapticslush
thelittlecaptain
TheMtnThatReddits
tuffspark\_
WorkOutDrinkMore
YouGoJill
4000 Minutes aanchables
Admirable-Gazelle-38
Ah\_Tofutti
alip1235678
Ally0cj
Badknees2014
Bayoumum
bekah1024
Bril6527
Brilala
cgiggly13
danitosupreme
difrancal
DJKittyDC
dolphinsmiles
dosgatosenuntraje
elvispresley1313
Epicatt
FilRiderCT
firezodyssey
FisherintheBay716
GiddyUppGirl
Itsbetterthanbutter
Jenn926
Jersey-Gal
jezzybee
jojonnie
KandT147
KellieLynnSR
ki2zt
king-nutella
lukaszm
mezcalamityjane
more\_thunder
mustachio2
neejoub
nervous-crew
NHWaldo
pbegemann
Peachytoilet
Pelotonia
Pieeye12
Pjjammy
Salad\_Lasagna
sorry\_vermicelli
StayingBlonde
sydneyb32
TexanNibor
thegratefuljess
Tiggerette9
trc\_pgh
umeditor
wac\_
willandbeyond
5000 Minutes \_perpetuallyanxious
acut3angle
adriannaps
akakakakakakakakak
ATLkf
beetuh
Bethy2118
ChickeyTendieMindy
chriswoods1978
Clpatters
Cynthia523
dorkyromantic
elephant\_footsteps
Geebee90025
Girliecd2
GlennSpins
hanRAH876
happynommers
HermsTheWord
hr23us
isa9404
jkeating951
jmmdee
jrivera365
KayGee630
keeks1103
Klass2
kleth3
laziefred
Lesliejeannene
mahtani89
Mauler19
Mf23\_
MightyButterfly
MrHappy01
NerdsAnd4LetterWords
noxrain129
oleaeuropaea
Puzzleheaded\_Toe6676
rayray5884
RegretfullyARedditor
RunAbiRun
Samb811
SilkyMitts22
spartanyxter
Squeegmonster
Squidpunch
Stadiumnachos
Sunnydelightful1
TheBluePill1013
Tiffakia
tloons69
tooscaley
UncharacteristicPie
vccushing124
wdelavega
yellowappy
YesReallyWhy
6000 Minutes acschoeny
Airykah13
Beige\_Alpaca
Brady67j
Bschmittah
CandersonNYC
chase\_one
clefflerpsu
Cold-Anteater
CommonBroccoli
DG-VGC
doingtoomanythings
dr-tj-eckleburg
draconyet
ee547
Elkayez
Emzash
Epsifreelance
etmur007
falconfan150
FredThePoser
Greggers1234
hholdrea
jailhouselawyertx
jamz512
Jkg5023
kwamazing
mnems
mrs\_barney
Nabettie
NeatNoRocks
nokamber
nymetsgolf81
pedalpower2020
queerkatmanor
Rachyjany128
Retrocarmelapple
s\_kate\_m
samismitty
Seduz
Sharks58uk
skinner696
sopa0502
superpapa16
Swaldron1978
Tarandab
vin13
vladijack
7000 Minutes 1skin\_2skin\_3skin
annabananna52
AnnieBananie385
arenajane
aussiejimi
BigSnoopy
Bigtexashair
Bk\_Phyt\_Grrl
botchedjob
caroneedscoffee
CCPiper225
Celeryone
Colemizz
Diager626
DK1230
DontBlameH
dsdry
ForgetfulJonesy
friendseversynth
ggail
gregglund
Harleydavidsonunc
ilovelabbit
inspctrgadgt
jennamfeo
jmdelgado13
Jschultz57
Kay312010
kaytell1
Kermicle13
Kimberly\_jk
kmccormi
Laurenkilts
Louiestl
MidnightPinecone
MyLegsX2CantFeelThem
nickilous
NYbagellover
Pandoraxxxx
Redpajama27
rvsk
Scamperplop
TankThePitsky
texaswinegirl
themetal94
tommysee
veearrbee
Wompy
8000 Minutes Amsterdamcyclone
Angel3369
Belcuor
Brengard
CaribSoul
cebitoun
Das\_tao
Epiccatechin
Flrunnergirl23
Freedom-to-be-me
harkatmuld
hooti\_hooo
jersey\_ames
JMeepsy
jpappe
katlauv
Larissa307
lom2b
lrm1010
luckxurious
madamefa
mrsbuddickman
notsobigred
pandactyl
Ring\_Core
snl430
Squishysluv
Stickusn
Susanbohrman
Teagangeorge
Toothcarpenterdmd
trashpanda711117
ttindaplace2be
tubesockfever
UnlikeTheWaves
wherewuz
xxcandybuttsxx
YellowJacket16
Zarlasht415
9000 Minutes acciothedoctor
AFardo
atascm
Barbusiness13
becausepuppies
bheemsoth
Briarch
Busterbluthmyself
ChemistryGrouchy
ConstantCucumber1
Daisydog0721
Donikam10
DrewskiG
eande78651
emmac13
fueledoc
Gilly0420
Ironmike2000
JamLePen
jdi4tc
jfrenchjohnson
jsh56
jsh56\_
Knut8
Lackluckster
misforamazing
MissGinnySlippers
morman15
nechildress
PatoDeAgua
PedalToParis
ProblemElephant
rachelgsp
Responsivity
riedmae
Roninaoshi
RunRowBarreRepeat
sandyollieek
sanj51980
Sarwill1981
Smacklin423
Smuan
Spumoni620
U2PartyGirl
Weird\_vero
WorldMarathoner
yoitsmo16
YouCanCallMeLJ
10000 Minutes 24caro
Alpacafight
Babyteej
Bar\_Down20
BellaFiat
Bettylee888
Bignewssuz
bobbyr1976
Carplips
Claraidavis
Dam6563
devusb
djwhite67
Dsaxny
elledvee
erinfleming33
Firebucket
freegimmethree
hamlin6
hayrach19
hopingforcookies
IndyMazzy
jktravvy
julric01
katmiller22
Kingalyssia
lcdiehl
liberali
lk3268
maxpospischil
mhr10s
MiaCatShaw
michaeltheg1
mikeb211
mrs\_dr\_becker
noneyabusiness13
Racingrocket
Robyninmontana
sass-a-thon
Snappy987
Stephieand
swole\_honey\_badger
TB77
TriforceTriceps
15000 Minutes ChiliMac11
cindylieberman21
cnhades
furtyfive
jocelynwiedman
Luvstoast
mikaelamosch
MyLittlePoofy
Pelotonjunkie
20000 Minutes Chitown\_lauren
mel0346
Pen801
travelar
treaduk1512
25000 Minutes Hollwood\_Porky
30000 Minutes jenergizer
Kortcelillo
massiemedia
35000 Minutes ImNotThatKindOfDr
Milestones for Daily Streaks:
# Days Reddit Username
30 Days 3leanorRigby
\_oncloudwine
abcdeelicious
ashea07
Asunday47
ATLtoRVA
ATomAlpha
Barbusiness13
birds-sing-words
British\_Coal
bwightman
CalGal416
Catowldragons
chazzguitar
chrismiller2523
Colts\_Guy
deannamastro
Deletedice
demarcon
difrancal
Dig09
Earth\_to\_Ashley
ellenklutz
ErinMoBo
erinmobo13
estrahm
Featherb0tt0m
Fortold
gorepumpkin
jackiezee
jacobdavis44
jessrunsforpie
KeturahC
lastdukestreetking
LittleArtichoke3
llamachina
llamaface286
mackmoney3000
MagnificentMuskOx
Mapt11
Mapt88
Mentifresh
Michele125
Mikkellam
mizer357
mjfinn8
Myrtle1962
NHWaldo
nivek517
Norcaltechgal
notblueclk
OpusBC
Pandoraxxxx
pkpku33
Plodly1
Rara649
Robott123
seamstressofink
Seduz
semTake
shpooey
slsrx813
smelly\_kitteh
SnoopyBear21
Star1262
stellathe\_diver
subtle\_no\_chill
TezlaPilot
throwaway11121993
tr00gle
tvn210
Unicornplatypus8
urbanaria
wac\_
wallawalla\_wallaby
WilCap16
xoxo\_ally
45 Days afb1993
Airykah13
AllyGally
anaumann112
AshNaum01
AspiringZebra
avocadotoasteee
BeachBarsBooze
bloominadversity
Br\_raap
burnttongue
Busterbluthmyself
chicagorie
Crusty\_sheets
CurlingFlowerSpace
Curlsncupcakes
daynamite84
ddeitterick
dolphinsmiles
DovOps
EmDickinson
etrain07
failo789
FartsAreFreeStars
finkydink
Fitness\_Druid
fmha18
gidget1337
Gogmago
HermsTheWord
Hilrah
ikay412
inspctrgadgt
jaade24
JackDanielNJ
jessicagerbil
jesspolmanteer
jktravvy
jpappe
kimberly505
knitclimb
knitclimb\_
lamejora
Laurlyn23
Lef120
livrerie
Mfish626
MyLittlePoofy
pk\_travels
rachelgsp
Snowy58red
songlian9
Spacykacy
specklesforbreakfast
St3v3n83
steidley
stephanieRTR
taybodwell
thehuna
tillo3p
willandbeyond
60 Days \cali\_rose\
Amalchemy
Annabug9
aquilaFiera
BashyLaw
calirosee
catsandbeerz
ChaoticPandaKat
CheBall
clipper829
CommsPro
DayAryante
Desafio6
Dubiousdoubtful
ellezee85
erric
gbredditacc
hattads
ISpinWithDogs
JaJe22
jswymeler
Kristyn0727
Lekamori
libracadabra
nosnowbacon
Pen801
peoplehatingfloof
Pieeye12
rmdeeeee
Rosekass
saramcc79
SerialQuitter
shannahc
snum
sonyanews
Squidpunch
thelittlecaptain
Trepanner45
75 Days Bayoumum
beachsidebaker2b
BellaFiat
Coolhand1139
Dr\_Jones4
geese\_in\_flight
gevdie
go\_firecracker
itsmesues
Militantmommy
Moki\_likes\_cuddles
natasha\_c
Ossypants91
Pelo\_ride\_or\_die
rainshade
rbecks\_
sgfpsb919
SJCap
Skyvanman
SpinsAlot
StunningCollection7
Superp0ny
teach\_them\_well
Weird\_vero
YouGoJill
90 Days \_therealjz
AmaDeCasa
b\_ray\_illini
Bluedevilss
Braummmm
Brengard
brettfarmfed
Call-me\_maeby
chadapp
EHalps
imperfectdharma
jaytee2252
jdi4tc
jenwetzel
kellyyflynnn
NoMoreStatin
PembrokeMocha
Provincetown1234
Robyninmontana
Rocky\_Road82
Singer\_B
TheySaidTheredBeGuac
umichsteph
WasteSalt
105 Days Bigcat4275
Cachita28
Dsaxny
Hokiebird1990
jamowill
Laurenkilts
lola106
MidnightPinecone
NYbagellover
OG\_ho11ywou1d
SimmySlay
TexasTrini286
120 Days afreela1
Briarch
ds80cmh
hholdrea
Ironmike2000
Iselitita
Jasminedragon22
JawnWooders74
Kimkabamm
Klass2
meglinmadison
mikeindetroit
mochi-mocha
nerdkillah
notsobigred
PengieUnlimited
redgoddess
sa\_in\_sd
TB77
Worstkase
135 Days acschoeny
auroracita
Babyfeverttc
CoMIZr8
DATLO
DunniganAlley
everywherebarefoot
hahabechim
just\_call\_me\_peach
Justeee
MinnesotaWick
Mmm1208
sbfaster
Stephieand
150 Days bunnybowl
denvergirl
EchoCharlie1028
I\_Am\_Nuan
jmdelgado13
Laur84
platoaddict
Stephanieannex3
superpapa16
165 Days DSFTR
eazyedubya
Hellatonnn
janetmerlene
massiemedia
NickyNorton910
PedalToParis
Susanbohrman
Tgrant20
Tpapi
TPapi-
TricKnees
180 Days becausepuppies
cadusn
cindylieberman21
jhanson3916
jo3t
krallicifer
MsAlalea
muggsy\_lo
nomorecookies
YaleRN
195 Days Applejx2023
barefootflipflop
Das\_tao
elr1015
ElvisAteMyDinner
GeminiProblem
HonesTea
Jborden90
Serial\_Cerealist
Tarandab
TheCoach59
210 Days annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnna
anonmarmot17
Bunslaf
CrankyQueenT
EmilyLG82
ImNotThatKindOfDr
mycatmaizy
plsq
terp\_pdx
225 Days AlessaDark
cheesePurse
elynnmarsh
jhill5099
marciatardin
Ricky\_hammers
RxWalktheDog
whatzit39
240 Days AnnikaIngrid
avernathy
Bwalsh22
chinkymack
Licarmichael
mhr10s
OpenThirdEye
realbrisbane
Reneeeeeee
Snappy987
Stillworkinhard
Walsh22
255 Days Dynamo340
Jasedontlie
Legal-mulberry
minji177
Syval627
270 Days ericexplorestheworld
queenofwburg
285 Days Almdoi\_Pad
rabbitsandpigs7
300 Days Christy618
Fridayplp133
theminirebel
315 Days Buddernut
Lauren519
330 Days allgreenbird
maycontainwine
PhlRider
urbanpandauk
345 Days a\_dobb
Scott420
skyy\_mall
360 Days 707Saint
Crumpledpaper24
Jdavisford
NDKatie20
405 Days Hornel
420 Days Jestered2303
NaderGoBlue
480 Days riskbreaker419
510 Days SuePerGirl66
540 Days insideword3303
585 Days Redrunsnsings
600 Days KingSlayer419
675 Days \Acadia\
geko29
690 Days ColoradoGirl54
840 Days davidjmillerphd
855 Days PBaddict01
975 Days Pelotonoffun
Milestones for Weekly Streaks:
# Weeks Reddit Username
52 Weeks air-
aortaclamp
BigDumbGuy
brookerollins
Childlike\_wildlife
CindyRonzoni
covercash
crhine17
crispysugar
Crumpledpaper24
doubleohkevinnnn
EF3394
ericexplorestheworld
Jdavisford
JMeepsy
jmix18
Larissa307
lostinthesauce423
mgnolry
nedackley
nubiansun
Ossypants91
Pinkfuzzyllama
ProblemElephant
RPMFit
skyman8880
smelly\_kitteh
sneckste
SouleverNYC
SunshineRuns
swordstool
thatbroadj
ThatsLogical
thestone9
Tpapi
TPapi-
60 Weeks doveybutt
fuzzykneez
jasper828
kwuwmeyer
LunaTheTater01
reganml
tarheel\_ddeacon
70 Weeks EVegan
gebecher
Killyaselves
madiperry4
TricKnees
troyhakala
V1VrV2
wintermelody83
80 Weeks bluealys
dmbandgal
G\_V\_Black\_ME
NaderGoBlue
thaberger
TheSaucePossum
90 Weeks Condemned2BeFree
Fridayplp133
Slow\_Kahuna
thankunextrun
twinkielucille
Youtwoneedabuffer
125 Weeks jamz512
sacheek
wrewing73
156 Weeks Eat2Live2Run
Milestones for Bootcamp Workouts:
Milestone Reddit Username
Milestones for Cardio Workouts:
Milestone Reddit Username
Milestones for Cycling Workouts:
Milestone Reddit Username
Century acut3angle
Alfalfa-Important
Asunday47
baberim
badwarhol
Banzaiburrito
bbmama4212
champy69
choqlat
chunt75
Coloradomama1
Effective\_Shoe\_1389
etovenlindsey
FierceNGracious
focushunting
gbredditacc
GoldEyes86
heatm26
Hihellobyee
HomeRuled
Hulkhoganlegdrop
Immortalbrute
itskfitz
jessneedsabeer
Jibbajabba007
jswymeler
Juany\_12
Kbarsh
ktemsee
libbyfg
lolobirdiee
Melovecoffee
merchesp
natasha\_c
Orbiter9
PembrokeMocha
Pitbullfarts
rent-a-john
retiredpartygirl
run85
steidley
stellathe\_diver
tastysugar
that-nerd
theycallmegogo
tmo10
wallawalla\_wallaby
wallysworld9
Weird\_vero
Who-Knows82
150 Workouts aeternae
ArRoPa
Bluedevilss
Cachita28
Chiangrila
coco\choux\
cyncyn129
DATLO
DC389
dmilesai
eaglerockbulldogmom
Electra0219
Elkayez
Fakinglucidity
FraggleRed
Gala59
ggail
globaldesi
glorified\_bus\_driver
greenflash1775
Gutteda
HermsTheWord
iluvbbyoda
IXFIT
Jask89
kaaatertots
Kayano905
keeks1103
Lah1212
Linus310JB
maintarget
Mjbukala1
mkellock
mochi-mocha
MoragPoppy
mustachio2
nicaraguayenne
Pandoraxxxx
Pattij75
PatyCakes
PersnicketyParsnip
Pierce28
pk\_travels
s\_kate\_m
Sauvignonblahnik
ShariHM
Sk0s
snl430
sroccalove
Sschwar5
St3v3n83
stanleywj
Stethica
TGlode
Tianlilo
trc\_pgh
XXcoolbreeze
YaddaBlahMeh
yellowappy
200 Workouts Aelewis92
alawson67
alijejus
aussiejimi
chloek0831
CoffeeAndCurls76
fierce\_unicorn
FilRiderCT
ForgetfulJonesy
hholdrea
imperfectdharma
Ingoiolo
inspctrgadgt
Janehound
jessicagerbil
jesspolmanteer
jlorens2
jmdelgado13
jo3t
jpetriv26
jsh56
jsh56\_
Jurassic\_\_Spark
Jurassic\_Spark
Kay312010
kbrahmatl
l0tusflower
Lalahooha
larettin
lizardpplarenotreal
mahtani89
MomZelle
Obsessed89
Obsessedwithitall
Rjk79
Samwell\_Gamgee85
SandraD04
simscity2000
Spacykacy
SpatiallyAdept
user\_1729
250 Workouts \msiii\
akarrgh
alpinechic
arenajane
balluhouston
Bettylee888
Bigcat4275
Brengard
cindylieberman21
designchick14
dmwoodcox
Drewmac380
Electrical\_Ingenuity
Epiccatechin
EYEBR0WSE
FidoMcCokefiendPDX
FoodOnMySleeve
GatorMom310
Grampytrampstamp
Inkit
jailhouselawyertx
Jcinla005
Jersey-Gal
Jkg5023
larousse10
lonemtngirl
meep\_meep\_meow
NeverQuit203
Nflew937
notsobigred
Palmsandpancakes
PhilAlexanderNY
Robohoot
RogueWaves314
SaraBlahBlahBlah
skinner696
stephensteir
Summrbaby
technicolourful
TheMichaelJ2
tillo3p
weagle2241
Yaboyjuice-
zapfret
300 Workouts Applejx2023
attracted55percent
Barbusiness13
cdburg
Collectivebytes
crazy\_rhythms
doherty1104
DontBlameH
ellaminnowpq
Erikamfrank
Flashman666
hooti\_hooo
ih8hopovers
imnotcoherent
ItsCatCat
JoJo\Dancer\
Justeee
knightbus\_
Larissa307
nogoodwillcomeofthis
pxslip
rachelgsp
stephanieRTR
steviethebear
thewinoandiknow
U2PartyGirl
zooklola
Zorgi23
350 Workouts -Deiana-
24caro
\_oncloudwine
bgold99
Bigtexashair
Binky\_the\_Horse
bobbyr1976
clefflerpsu
Crelistener
DaniBethV
jfrenchjohnson
kramlegan
Mmm1208
Mustarde
MyHeartIsInIt
nedackley
peoplehatingfloof
Pgh\_City\_Girl
platoaddict
riedmae
royalcow
shard527
sonyanews
Stacistanley
Thesaurusisin
WENUS\_envy
400 Workouts \cali\_rose\
calirosee
cohornfan
ejbd70
jenifuurrr
jrodisrad
lorecki
Myssminerva
phished187
stanrapisch
450 Workouts auroracita
JQ617
jurneeka
nikibuds
PDQ2
poohmel
pushc6
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500 Workouts avernathy
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600 Workouts alexrodriguezcanton
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700 Workouts croydon\_boy\_83
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800 Workouts Carplips
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900 Workouts PhlRider
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Milestones for Meditation Workouts:
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Century AshNaum01
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Youtwat
150 Workouts Asunday47
SandwichAnnual
200 Workouts allgreenbird
AnnieBananie385
go\_firecracker
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250 Workouts Kraddude
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300 Workouts ColoradoGirl54
Eeeeeeeka
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Century Addendum\_Horror
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200 Workouts erric
250 Workouts elenafoster112
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450 Workouts pauleehalloran
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Century all\_of\_the\_hedgehogs
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ShariHM
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150 Workouts abcdeelicious
Artbyjess
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200 Workouts Busterbluthmyself
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250 Workouts Fitlife123
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SilverStable
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300 Workouts BuFFmtnMama
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350 Workouts eazyedubya
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150 Workouts covercash
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Pos-i-tute-ly
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tsokin
200 Workouts CindyRonzoni
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Known-Environment
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600 Workouts \Acadia\
submitted by PelotonBot to pelotoncycle [link] [comments]


2020.11.07 11:48 AutumnGemstone Never. Ruin. Your. Sister's. Prom. Dress.

Disclaimer: Its not my story, its a friend's. I dont condone it either, so please don't shoot the messenger. I make no claims of nobility in her actions, nor do I defend them.
So this takes place when I was 16, wide-eyed, full of wonder and (much to a lot of judges displeasures) unable to be tried as an adult. I had myself a big brother we'll call Elio. And like many big brothers at the time, he was coming to terms with his flowering sexuality (among other things that went shooting up from otherwise flat surfaces whenever Robin appeared onscreen in Batman Forever). He did his best to keep it a secret, plastering playboy centerfolds over his Ariana Grande posters, and stoically sitting through the game with my dad during superbowl parties (albeit through gritted teeth probably wishing he could watch a Britney Spears music video instead). But much like a Nintendo switch under the tree on Christmas Eve you can't keep something this major under wraps for long where nosy kids are involved. The nosy kid in this case being me.
Like many twinks who came before him upon discovering an alternative lifestyle from the rigid confines of toxic heterosexual masculinity, Elio took it upon himself to explore his feminine side with all the zeal and passion of a prophet with a message. (Mount Hira in this scenario being a nightclub bathroom while the Angel Jibril was a 6'6 YMCA trainer who spelled his name Johnni with an i). Ironically this eagerness to play up the girly shtick was how he came to succumb to the worst sin you can commit as a brother- stealing your sister's clothes. (A message to all the gay men reading this. Her wardrobe is not your experimental laboratory, and you ain't Dr. Frankenstein).
Now in my defense if Elio had the decency to just ask me to borrow my stuff, under the guise of shopping for some made up girlfriend with the same shoe size/colors/height as myself, I'd have happily obliged. Heck, if he had just offered himself up as a sacrificial lamb modeling for my startup "clothing line" (sixteen year old me considered herself a fashionista with a penchant for designing outfits and recycling her wardrobe to bring them to life) id have been all to eager to be his guide into the world of women's fashion. But the two-faced bastard opted to sneak into my closet and try on my stuff without permission. He thought he was being slick putting them back when he was done, but I was a petite womens zero and he was a mens medium. Now had he simply owned up to being incompatible with my measurements and admitted his crime to me the first time, I might have restrained from the retribution I'd go onto unleash. But instead he continued to indulge in his deluded fantasy that we were the same size and for weeks, I'd try on my clothes only to find them grotesquely stretched out of shape, with no explanation. I tried hiding my clothes in parts of the closet i didn't think the thief would check, only for him to find them. I began sleeping with my favorite clothes like a stuffed animal, but even my embrace couldn't protect them from being warped beyond wearability. I started hiding my junior prom dress under the bed. At one point I was lowkey starting to consider the possibility that I was beginning to shrink. And had I not come home early from a cancelled SAT prep session one afternoon (my tutor got wind of a family emergency halfway through), this story might have otherwise ended with me in a straight jacked begging some burned out shrink to save me before I went microscopic. But fate had other plans. I made a beeline for my room to find sounds coming from behind the door. Upon realizing that I was bearing witness to the dastardly clothing deformer, I hid in the bathroom in the corridor and peeked through a crack in the door for the culprit to leave my room. Imagine my shock when I discovered it was Elio. To my horror, I watched him go under my bed to place something there and upon his departure my worst fears were confirmed- he had tried on my beloved prom dress! (Earlier in the week I had bragged to him about the lengths I had gone to hide it from the "closet ghost" thinking it would go through one ear and out the other with him, and just wanting an excuse to flex on how smart I was to take extra precautions). I storm in, demanding to know why he was wearing my clothes. He condescendingly tells me that he looks better in them than I do.
I was heartbroken to find that the zipper had broken and the fit was horribly mangled! I went down in tears begging for my mom to tell me it could be salvaged, only for her to tell me what I prayed she wouldnt). She wasn't particularly sympathetic, thinking i had done the damage myself, and refused to buy me another one. I demanded that Elio pay me back for the dress so I could buy another but he gave me less than half of what it cost. He refused to believe that it cost more than what I said it did, and unfortunately, my mom didn't have the receipt to prove it on account of being a bit scatterbrained when It comes to keeping track of payments. When I threatened to tell her that he was the one who ruined the dress, he laughed and said they'd never believe me. In spite of my rage and fury sending me into a frenzy of hysterics, I still knew he was right (the two faced bastard deserved an Oscar for his straight facade and even if he was prancing around in a rainbow unitard singing born this way by Lady Gaga, my folks were the type who would deny his gayness right up until the moment they came home to find him getting jackhammered on the kitchen table by a Puerto Rican bodybuilder). I realized that if I wanted to get even, I needed my own plan or action. And that was to hit him where it hurt. But where exactly is the weak spot on your brother when his standard boy ones have long since gone numb from an overuse of fleshlights, and his rectal cavity as a storage unit? The answers lay in his phone.
After several weeks of casually walking behind the couch every time Elio whipped out his phone on it, I finally figured out his phone pin. He always locked his room, but thanks to some youtube tutorials on how to pick a basic door lock with a Bobby pin, that problem quickly resolved itself. Every time Elio went to shower, I'd sneak in and hack his phone, giving myself a fifteen minute crash course on all things valued by ur typical bottom. It turns out he fancied himself the next biggest thing in the drag scene. He was using my outfits to cement his status as "the rising star of the social media drag scene". I thought about deleting his account but I didn't want him suspecting me of it and tattling to my folks. Besides, he could always just create a new one and start over again.
He liked drag race, Kpop and iced coffee, but i couldn't exactly ruin his chances of getting on the show, and in the digital age, he had no cds to smash or switch out. Of course there was always the option of spiking his coffee with something nasty but I wanted him to feel the pain I did. And that pain simply wasn't comparable to a wasted $5.99 plus tax. I was about to concede defeat after about 2 weeks of trying to find something, when I discovered he downloaded grindr.
After my initial revulsion to the app (no not because of I was a homophobe. But because his profile and was full of his nudes) Regardless of what he was into, I didn't find my brothers ding dong appealing. I doubt any sister does). Elio wasn't really into hookups, but apparently he did like sending nudes to whoever asked for them. Its important to note that he always blurred or blacked out his face for privacy, and he appeared to color in the background of all his pictures with the image editing on his phone post production, and he always kept his location on "Never". I suddenly understood why he had taken to hogging the bathroom for up to 20 minutes over the weekend. I just assumed that he was just paying the price for going to Chipotle every Friday with friends but now I knew. He was basically trying to find the best angles for his customers. And just like that I finally had a plan.
What I did next was not something Im proud of but I was bitter, hurting, and desperate for payback. Not making excuses just telling it like it is. I downloaded grindr onto my own phone, and created a fake account. I used some stock photo of a six pack for my profile and punched in a bunch of fake info including a spoof GPS location (shoutout to the internet for walking me through the process!). I knew it would really make a difference to my brother. He didn't really seem to care who was getting his naughty pics so much as how "cute" he looked in them. The boy fancied himself a bit of a male model and I guess he decided grindr was the best place to get a feel for the industry.
Anyways, over the course of several weeks I became one of his regulars, routinely asking him for pics (all of which I promptly deleted upon receiving). I messaged him so frequently and stroked his ego the way I knew he liked it to be stroked (I had gone through enough of the chats backed up on his phone to know what kind of compliments made him more likely to keep sending stuff instead of just getting bored and blocking someone after the second or third time he sent them pics, before moving on to someone else). I boiled what made him tick down to a science and it wasnt long before I had him eating out of the palm of my hand). Eventually I had earned a spot in his heart as one of his "exclusives". At my suggestion, we'd start having "sessions" where we'd schedule times for him to "flood my basement", sending me caches of pics he'd taken over the course of the week while I would live chat my reaction as to the effect they had on me. It was gross and I always felt nauseous afterwards, but I wasn't going to let squeamish scruples stand between my revenge. Not after how far I'd come.
The next phase of my plan involved my search on pornhub for a pornstar who sounded similar to my dad, with a nice loud "battle cry" (do you guys see where this is going? If you want to back out now, no one will blame you) who was typically paired up with pillow princesses with considerably softer Eventually after several fruitless searches ending with me crying in a fetal position asking myself how much longer I could keep this up, and if it was worth it followed by the world's most twisted pep talk about how "I was a fighter who could do it" (basically think that scene from Joker where Arthur puts on his clown makeup crying and you've got something of an allegory for my struggle), I finally found a guy who sounded similar enough to my dad. I downloaded several videos featuring him roughhousing with some anorexic twenty somethings onto my laptop, strung them together with some crude online video editing app, converted it to audio, and separated my leading man's climactic hollers from the soft whimpers. I saved the file on my computer under the codename "Brand new Take on Oedipus".
Last but not least, I approach my dad under the guise of needing his help for a school project, while my brother is off with his friends. I tell him I'm acting out a one woman play for my drama midterm and I need him to be the voice of my protagonist's off screen father. I ask him to recite a series of lines for me to record on my phone, all the while encouraging him to "say them naturally". These lines include but aren't limited to "I told you not to disturb me. What is it?" "Is everything alright?", "now isn't a good time to talk", and most importantly "I finished my work so I think I'll head out to join the rest of the family at the movie theatre. See you later". I move the audio files onto my laptop and eagerly anticipate approaching the turning point of my master plan.
One Saturday morning, I had arranged for a "session" in which my folks would be out of the house and I'd be with them. Or so Elio thought. You see, my mom, dad, and younger brother were all going to the park near my house on a typical family outing. We'd go to the park, then take a walk around the local lake, and maybe catch a movie if we felt like it. We usually go around 4-5 ish and come back at night. I know that today will be a movie day because my baby brother has been nagging my folks to go see some kids movie for a while (which he learned was out this weekend courtesy of yours truly ;) Before I left the house, I made sure my bedroom door was wide open (important for later). While at the park, I asked to play on my dads phone, citing a low battery on mine to explain why I couldn't use it. Then I sent Elio a text telling him that "dad" had just recieved a call from his boss telling him he had some extra work he needed to finish. "I" was going to be in my office across the hall from his room, and could not under any circumstance be disturbed as I had a lot of stuff to do and very little time to finish it before the deadline. I waited to make sure he had read the text and sent me a thumbs up emoji in response before I told my folks that I wanted to head back home on account of me getting an early visit from the "lady in red". Not one to stand between a lass and her time of the month, my dad let me go home.
Feeling like a ninja, I returned to the house, all the while sending Elio my reactions to what we'll call his "cute little peach" (we had technically already started the "session" fifteen minutes ago). I crept into the house, snuck into my room on tiptoes. Thanks to my open door, I didn't have to worry about Elio hearing the creak of it from inside his room (they were next to each other), praying he didn't come out for any reason in time to find me, I retrieved my laptop and the Bluetooth speaker I used to listen to music in the shower, and tiptoed into my dads office, now making sure to close the door and lock it with enough force for him to hear from inside his room where I knew he was sending me the pics. I then send Elio a text apologizing for "being stuck doing something stupid. But now you've got my undivided attention baby". Now its time for the grand finale (in more ways than one). First I connect my currently muted laptop to my Bluetooth speaker (which I've put at maximum volume in advance). Then, I open the Oedipus file and start to run it, while I text more and more raunchy and unhinged reactions to the incoming pictures. Just as we're approaching the end of the video containing the loudest yell (I saved the best for last), I text Elio that he's "making me cum so hard like the little slut he is" just in time to turn up the volume to the loudest setting on my laptop, riiiight before the tarzan like whoop of passion I know is around the corner.
The scream played loudly enough to break the sound barrier. Calling it merely loud was the understatement of the century. It was enough so for me to have to cover my own ears despite putting on earplugs in advance. I wouldn't have been surprised if the neighbors heard. I wouldn't be surprised if people in Siberia heard. But one thing was certain. There was no way my brother didn't. I shut off the Oedipus file, lower the volume, and keep my finger on the recordings of my dads voice.
At first nothing happens. All is silent not unlike the universe before the big bang. The mounting tension would have been enough to send me into a heart attack had I implemented this scheme in my 50s. It takes every ounce of my will not to scream from the suspense. The agony is pure torture. I feel paralyzed in anticipation but I force myself to turn my attention to the grindr chat... I will myself to repeatedly punch in questions asking why Elio stopped sending pics all of a sudden, while keeping my ears alert for any hint of a noise from beyond the door. Time crawls to a standstill. Then.... just when I begin to wonder if the lack of results stems from me losing my grip on reality from the stress of waiting.... I hear the creak of a door turning on its hinges. The sound is faint enough to make me question its existence. By now I'm almost painfully adjusted to the waiting period. Enough to the point where part of me almost wants to deny hearing it out of fear of whether or not I'll react subtley enough not to blow my cover if its real.... but it can't possibly have been real... and then I hear something else. Footsteos across the room.. Its soft, timid and hesitant, but very much present.... knock knock knock. I take a deep breath and prepare to play one of the tapes. The following conversation ensues: Elio- Elio on the other side of the door Dad- Dad's prerecorded voice
Elio: Dad... are you in there? Dad: I told you not to disturb me. What is it? Elio: ... How long have you been in there? Dad: I've been in here for a while. Elio: I um... I heard a scream. Is everything ok? Dad: Oh yeah... I screamed because I dropped something on my foot. (I specifically encouraged my dad to say this line like he was hiding something). I'm ok now though. Don't worry about me. Elio:.... Ok... if you say so... Dad: I love you Elio: Yeah me too I guess?
I hear Elio go back into his room and within seconds I hear a notification for the grindr chat. He apologizes for the delay and like the putty in my hands I know he is, says exactly what I was banking on him to. Elio: You're not gonna believe this but my dad is in the next room and I heard him screaming at the same time you told me you were cumming lol.
And now commences what I believe the French refer to as the pies de resistance. I leave him on read and tiptoe downstairs with my apparatus while he waits for a response. Quiet. As. A. Mouse. Then I set up my laptop and speaker for one last audio blast. I put on my shoes and chill out for a few minutes watching his texts get more and more hysterical, begging me to respond with "lol thats so wierd" and to assure him it was all a coincidence. A merciful sister would have realized that avenging her dress shouldn't come at the cost of her brothers peace of mind, and come clean about the prank. I sent the following text to him. "Elio we are never going to speak of this. Not to your mom, not to your siblings, not to me. If you attempt to bring it up, you will no longer be allowed to stay in this house. We are going to put this incident behind us and go about as if nothing happened. I want you to delete your account on this website and every single picture that you posted on it. If you know what's good for you, never go back on the app again while living under my roof"
Then I blocked him before the final phase of my plan. From downstairs, I blast up both volume settings and fire up the last line I asked my dad to record; "I finished my work so I think I'll head out to join the rest of the family at the movie theatre. See you later". This time I hear Elio respond "Wait, what?" From upstairs, I can hear him coming down. Now its time to kick it into high gear. I shove my laptop and speaker under into a cabinet under the sink, jam my feet into my shoes, and sneak out through the back door and hide behind the shed.
After a few hours, my folks appear in the driveway and I rush out to welcome them back and come inside, as though I was with them the whole time. His relationship with my dad was never quite the same afterwards and many a night for years to come i overheard father bemoan his nonexistent relationship with his little slugger. Elio ended up moving out less than a year after the prom dress incident. He finally came out via a Facebook post a week after settling in to his new apartment. He blocked my parents on every social media platform and went completely NC. Any attempts on my dads part to reignite their father son bond was met with cold apathy and indifference when Elio wasn't flat out refusing to talk to him. For years the only time they ever met in person was at extended family get togethers. I felt a bit bad for my dad but it worked out in the end. Elios determination to distance himself from my dad resulted in him growing closer to me as a result. I think he didn't want to risk losing his other kids the way he did his oldest.
In all honesty, I'd have been happy to let Elio fester in guilt and shame for the rest of his life (we were never really close growing up and the prom dress incident was nothing more than the tiniest of tips on the largest of icebergs). But over the years our relationship slowly mended and perhaps it could have evolved into something that roughly resembled a healthy sibling relationship had he not tried to take over my wedding planning and revealed his own plans to get a free engagement ceremony/coming out party by hijacking my reception with a proposal to his then boyfriend. I tried to reason with him but his unyielding stubbornness forced me to pull the uno reverse card I hoped I'd never have to use. I sent him a text revealing that all this time dad had no idea he was gay, and that I was the one talking to him on grindr. I concluded my message with a warning if he showed up, I'd have security escort him out and afterwards I'd tell the whole family that he sexted his sister in high school and I had the nudes to prove it (I never kept any but he didn't know that) . He might have been able to reveal i was a liar had he not deleted his old grindr from back then. I then blocked him on all platforms before he had a chance to reply. He didn't come to the wedding, I never saw him again, and my quality of life greatly improved as a result of his absence in it.
TLDR: my closeted brother secretly starts wearing my clothes in order to boost his presence as a social media drag personality. He ruins my prom dress as a result and refuses to pay me back for it when confronted. I catfish him on grindr and trick him into believing he was sending nudes to my dad. His relationship with my family falls apart after I threaten him to never speak of what happened. I let him boil alive for years with what he thinks is his scandalous little secret, until i get engaged, and he tries to take over my wedding and use it to propose to his boyfriend. I reveal to him that I was the one pretending to be our dad all those years ago then threaten to show his boyfriend and the rest of my family all the nudes he sent me and accuse him of being an incestuous perv if he comes to the ceremony, before I block him
submitted by AutumnGemstone to ProRevenge [link] [comments]


2020.11.06 19:15 DirtDisrespector "Oh you like JoJo? Name every JoJo character." (+stands)

Part 1

Jonathan Joestar
Will A. Zeppeli
Robert E. O. Speedwagon
Erina Pendleton
Poco
George Joestar I
Tonpetty
Straizo
Dire
Dio Brando
Bruford
Tarkus
Wang Chan
Dario Brando
Danny
Tattoo
Kempo Fighter
Inspector
Poco's Sister
Jack the Ripper
Adams
Doobie
Page/Jones/Plant/Bornnam
Mary Joestar
Will's Father
Elizabeth I
Mary Stuart
Aztec Chief
Mark Watkin
Darnley
Harry
Jeff Back and Dan Hamar
The 77 Rings Challenge Winners
Father Styx
Maiden
Dio Brando's Mother
Woman from Bar
Brats
Ring Announcer
Jonathan's Former Friends
Joestar Mansion Butler
George's Doctors
Ogre Street Criminals
Vagrants
Police Zombie
Speedwagon's Friend
Jack the Ripper's Date
Fisherman
Zombie Knights
Executioner
Poco's Bullies
Oriental Doctor
Ceiling Zombies
Zombie Mother
Chimera Zombies
Poco's Dad
Executed Zombies
London Bartender
Coffin Transporters
Ship Zombies
Elizabeth's Mother

Part 2

Joseph Joestar
Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli
Lisa Lisa
Rudol von Stroheim
Messina
Loggins
Erina Joestar
Smokey Brown
Suzi Q
Kars
Esidisi
Wamuu
Santana
Donovan
Wired Beck
Mark
Mario Zeppeli
George Joestar II
Bruto
Adolf Hitler
Straizo's Disciples
Mummy
SPW Excavators
Coco Cola Seller
New York Police Officers
SPW Plane Hijackers
SPW Plane Pilot
Impatient Driver
Brass Knuckles Gangster
Mafioso
Bruto's Girlfriend
Female Reporter
Stroheim's Servants
Nazi Doctors
Stroheim's Prisoners
Courageous Mexican Child
Mexican Thugs
Vampire Prisoner
Nazi Gatekeepers
Santana's Body Host
Santana's Nazi Victims
SPW Researchers
Rome Hotel Waiter
Caesar's Date
Hypnotized Girl
Nazi Officer
Wamuu's Nazi Victims
Ripple Clan
Mark's Girlfriend
Joseph's Doctor
Nazi Spy
Postmaster
Puppy Saved By Kars
Drunk Drivers
Kars's Nazi Victims
Luxury Cat
Caesar's Siblings
Caesar's Distant Relative
Italian Hoodlum
Kars's Vampires
Skeleton Heel Stone Warriors
Bad Breath Vampire
Vampire Horses
Kars's Double
SPW Special Technology Fighting Team
Stroheim's Ultraviolet Army
Superior Officer Zombie
Kars's Squirrel
Pillar Men Clan
Funeral Directors
Hollywood Screenwriter
Japanese Tourist

Part 3

Jotaro Kujo
Muhammad Avdol
Noriaki Kakyoin
Jean Pierre Polnareff
Iggy
Holy Kujo
Anne
Roses
Enya the Hag
Vanilla Ice
Hol Horse
Nukesaku
Daniel J. D'Arby
Pet Shop
N'Doul
Mariah
Alessi
Oingo
Boingo
Anubis
Telence T. D'Arby
Kenny G.
Gray Fly
Impostor Captain Tennille
Forever
Devo the Cursed
Rubber Soul
J. Geil
Nena
ZZ
Steely Dan
Arabia Fats
Mannish Boy
Cameo
Midler
Chaka
Khan
Malèna
Wilson Phillips
Sherry Polnareff
Sadao Kujo
Captain Tennille
Pocky
Prince, Michael and Lionel
Caravan Serai
Moor Family
Christian Vander
Shozo Mayama
Chibi and Buchi
Sonia
Dr. Elliot
Tatsuhiko
Treasure Hunters
Japanese Police Officers
Jotaro's Groupies
School Nurse
Mr. and Mrs. Kakyoin
Speedwagon Foundation Sailors
Singapore Hotel Valet
Singapore Thief
Cable Car Tourists
Calcutta Waiter
Little Calcuttan Boy
Calcutta Drifter
Calcutta Beggars
Varanasi Doctor and Nurse
Cafe Marhaba Denizens
Karachi Jewelry Store Guards
Arab Cessna Pilot
Arab Villager Lady
Speedwagon Foundation Pilots
Japanese Manga Artist
Chaka's Father
Friends of Chaka's Father
Papyrus Seller
Four Mice
Young Anubis Wielder
Luxor Old Woman
D'Arby's Cat
Dealer Boy
Cairo Airport Punks
Cairo Informant
Dog-loving Boy
Speedwagon Foundation Doctors

Part 4

Josuke Higashikata
Okuyasu Nijimura
Koichi Hirose
Rohan Kishibe
Hayato Kawajiri
Reimi Sugimoto
Shigekiyo Yangu
Mikitaka Hazekura
Yukako Yamagishi
Yuya Fungami
Tamami Kobayashi
Toshikazu Hazamada
Tonio Trussardi
Aya Tsuji
Shizuka Joestar
Arnold
Tomoko Higashikata
Ryohei Higashikata
Yoshikage Kira
Yoshihiro Kira
Tama
Keicho Nijimura
Akira Otoishi
Anjuro Katagiri
Ken Oyanagi
Toyohiro Kanedaichi
Terunosuke Miyamoto
Masazo Kinoto
Bug-Eaten
Not Bug-Eaten
Shinobu Kawajiri
Nijimura's Father
Koichi Hirose's Mother
Ayana Hirose
Kosaku Kawajiri
Josuke's Savior
Police
Junko
Masaji
Sachiko
Lady Murakami
Ghost Alley's Residents
Takashi and Kazuko Sugimoto
Gonta
Ichiro Morishita
Yoshioka
Akira
Minayo
Yuya's Fangirls
Kimura
Minako Okura
Satoru Nakae
Mika
Hiroshi Yoshimura
Rio
Kai Harada
Sakai
Asuka
Rika Tachikawa
Yamashita
Masaya Yoshizawa
Hirata
Delinquents
Josuke's Groupies
Robber
Nijimura's Mother
Mr. Hirose
Bikers
Class President
Speedwagon Foundation Agent
Speedwagon Foundation Ship Captain
Old Monk
Banker
Kira's Coworkers
Centipede Shoes Store Owner
Kawajiri Family Cat
Morioh Tourist
Mikitaka's Mother
Rude Nurse
Rio's Neighbor
Paramedic

Part 5

Giorno Giovanna

Bruno Bucciarati
Leone Abbacchio
Guido Mista
Narancia Ghirga
Pannacotta Fugo
Trish Una
Coco Jumbo
Pericolo
Diavolo
Vinegar Doppio
Squalo
Tiziano
Carne
Cioccolata
Secco
Polpo
Mario Zucchero
Sale
Risotto Nero
Formaggio
Illuso
Prosciutto
Pesci
Melone
Ghiaccio
Scolippi
Luca
Sorbet and Gelato
Donatella Una
Man X
Paolo Bucciarati
Abbacchio's Partner
Anita
Diavolo's Mother
Antonio Rossi
Mrs. Menini
Mela Ghirga
Monica Ultello
Airport Security
Giorno's Admirers
Giorno's Mother
Giorno's Stepfather
Female Prison Officer
Old Janitor
Truck Driver
Narancia's Father
Narancia's 'Friends'Elderly Victim
Teacher
Blackmailing Criminal
Woman Saved By Mista
Thugs Killed By Mista
Bruno's Mother
Drug Dealers
Copy of Coco Jumbo
Venetian Suit Man
Hotel Maid
Bug-Catching Boy
Sardinian Fortune Teller
Sardinian Taxi Driver
Soccer Kids
Natural Resources Workers
The Arrows' Creator
Drunkards
Diavolo's Foster Father
Victims of SCR
Flower Shop Owner
Scolippi's Girlfriend
Female Tourists
Unlicensed Taxi Driver
Yacht Renter
Assassination Target
Assassinated Woman
Fugo's Parents
Shady Engineer

Part 6

Jolyne Cujoh
Ermes Costello
Emporio Alnino
Foo Fighters
Narciso Anasui
Weather Report
Gwess
Irene
Anakiss
Enrico Pucci
Donatello Versus
Rikiel
Ungalo
The Green Baby
Johngalli A.
Sports Maxx
Miuccia Miuller
Thunder McQueen
Miraschon
Lang Rangler
Viviano Westwood
Kenzou
Guccio
D an G
Romeo Jisso
Perla Pucci
Loccobarocco
Gloria Costello
Charlotte
Atroe
Savage Garden
Sonny Likir
David
Ron the Viper
Mickey
Pinocchio
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Astro Boy, Mazinger Z and Tetsujin 28-go
Little Red Riding Hood and The Big Bad Wolf
Spider-Man
Kenshiro and Raoh
Mother Goat and Seven Young Goats
Prince Charming
Vincent van Gogh
Venus
Peter Pan and Tinkerbell
Put Back Hero
Sergeant McCoy
Wes Bluemarine
MIH Bystanders
'Tom Cruise'
Jolyne and Ermes' Co-Prisoner
Hitchhiker
Jolyne's Mother
Jolyne's Lawyer
Judge in Jolyne's Trial
Strip Search Staff
Prison Doctor
Prison Hairdresser
Female Ward Security Staff
Pi-chan
Caterer
Blonde Bully
Bullied Prisoner
Prison Visit Guard
Search Party Guard
Male Prisoners Killed by Foo Fighters
Female Prisoners Killed by Foo Fighters
Foo Fighters' Would-be Bully
Courtyard Guard
Surveillance Technician
Prison Backyard Guard N#1
Prison Backyard Guard N#2
Prostitute Prisoner
Maximum Security Ward Prisoners
Anasui's Former Girlfriend
Little Prisoner
Speedwagon Foundation Doctors #2
Swamp Searching Party
Shoplifter
Bohemian Rhapsody Victims
Versus's Family
Judge In Versus's Trial
Juvenile Detention Inmate
Racist Detective
Nice Tourist
MIH Victims
Alternate Jolyne
Alternate Jotaro

Part 7

Johnny Joestar
Gyro Zeppeli
Lucy Steel
Steven Steel
Hot Pants
Mountain Tim
Diego Brando
Pocoloco
Sandman
Norisuke Higashikata I
Funny Valentine
Oyecomova
Pork Pie Hat Kid
Dr. Ferdinand
Ringo Roadagain
Blackmore
Eleven Men
Mike O.
Wekapipo
Magent Magent
Axl RO
D-I-S-C-O
Alternate Diego Brando
Benjamin Boomboom
Andre Boomboom
L.A. Boomboom
Mrs. Robinson
Sugar Mountain
Scarlet Valentine
Jesus
Gregorio Zeppeli
George Joestar I (Steel Ball Run)
Nicholas Joestar
Diego Brando's Mother
Marco
Captain Valentine
Urmd Avdul
Dot Han
Baron Roocatugo
Gaucho
Mark Becker
David Hagen
Paul Lukather
Dixie Chicken
Zenyatta Mondatta
Caravan Serai (SBR)
Baba Yaga
Nellyville
Sloop John B
Billy White
Iglesias
Fritz von Stroheim
Mack the Knife
Rotters Club
Nightfly
Kanye
Shigechi
Tarkus (SBR)
Mister.
Georgie Porgie
Dario (SBR)
Anne Joestar
Danny (Mouse)
Adam Pendleton
Silas and Mary Pendleton
Alice Pendleton
Pendleton Children
Sandman's Sister
Steel Ball Run Staff
Thief
Pocoloco's Fortune Teller
Sheriff
Gyro's Mother
Gyro's Siblings
Neapolitan Noble
Beautiful Prisoner
President's Aides
Diego's Wife
Farm Worker
Ringo's Father
Ringo's Mother
Ringo's Sisters
Potato Killer
Gyro's Hospital Patient
Milwaukee Gangsters
Wekapipo's Younger Sister
Wekapipo's Brother-in-law
Hot Pants' Brother
Shooting Witnesses
Coach Driver
Railroad Worker
Victims of Love Train
Funny's Father
Diego's Fans
Slow Dancer
Valkyrie
Silver Bullet
Gets Up
Ghost Rider in the Sky
Hey! Ya!
Hono
Foxy Lady
Little Wing
Crosstown Traffic
El Condor Pasa
Europe Express
#1
Peg
Ramblin' Man
Roxanne
Moon Flower
Nut Rocker
Country Grammar
Catch a Wave
Love Unlimited
Natalie
Black Rose

Part 8

Josuke Higashikata (JoJolion)
Yasuho Hirose
Rai Mamezuku
Norisuke Higashikata IV
Jobin Higashikata
Mitsuba Higashikata
Tsurugi Higashikata
Joshu Higashikata
Hato Higashikata
Daiya Higashikata
Kaato Higashikata
Kyo Nijimura
Yoshikage Kira (JoJolion)
Josefumi Kujo
Karera Sakunami
Holy Joestar-Kira
Tamaki Damo
Yotsuyu Yagiyama
Aisho Dainenjiyama
A. Phex Brothers
Dolomite
Tooru
Satoru Akefu
Urban Guerrilla
Doremifasolati Do
Poor Tom
Wu Tomoki
Dododo De Dadada
Ojiro Sasame
Maako Kitani
Suzuyo Hirose
Iwasuke
Hair Clip
Kiyomi Kujo
Rina Higashikata
George Joestar II (JoJolion)
Josuke (Dog)
Elizabeth Joestar (JoJolion)
Joseph Joestar (JoJolion)
Suzi Q (JoJolion)
Yoshiteru Kira
Teru
Norisuke Higashikata II
Toyoko
Norisuke Higashikata III
Tomoko Higashikata (JoJolion)
Sadafumi Kujo
Atsunori Iwakiri
Zaihei Nigatake
Rena Nanami
Mina
Taoka
Hospital Security Guard
SBR Hat Shop Owner
Kidnapped Girl
The Man from Josuke's Memories
Ojiro's Friend
Johnny's Daughter
Oblivious Grandmother
Crying Little Boy
Hospital Taxi Driver
Extortive Mother and Child
Shakedown Road Veteran
Three Drug Dealer Thugs
Carrier Girl
Shakedown Road Cops
Mysterious Baby
The Old Man in the Wheelchair
Aisho's Girlfriend
Yakitori Shop Owner
Bald Salaryman
Tourists
Muneyuki
Morioh Police Officers
Bar Owner
Milagro Man's User
Cab Driver #2
Courier Boy
Mature Woman
Female Delinquent
Jogger
Bicycle Boy
Cab Driver #3
Baby
Boy-scout Bully
Yasuho's Dad
Angry Patient
Woman in bed
Maako's Daughter
Bus Stop Murderer
Rock Human Mother
Mamezuku's Father
Mamezuku's Mother

One-Shots

Jolyne Cujoh (GUCCI)
Minoru Kaigamori
Kyoka Izumi
Nanase Kishibe
Rohan Kishibe's Grandmother
Noguchi
Pierre
Gaucher
Ikkyu
Naoko Osato
Gunpei Kamafusa
Mutsukabezaka
Shuichi
Mai Katahira
Mao Katahira
Obanazawa
Tomoya
Yoma Hashimoto
Mika Hayamura
Mochizuki Family
Moon Rabbit
Virgina
Dolce
Masago Ayashi
Dolce and His Master
Masago Ayashi
Bruno Bucciarati (GUCCI)
Leone Abbacchio (GUCCI)
Polpo (GUCCI)
Unicorn
Nizaemon Yamamura
Female Monk
Yamaoka
Interpreter
Leather Goods Artisan
Frida Giannini
Rocky
Yoshiki
Wanted Man
Confessor
Servant
Asian Man
Corn Market Workers
Daughter
Obese Man
Model Scout
Fitness Trainer
Deliveryman Sawaki
Gym Patron
Gym Manager

Light Novels

Michal
Absalom
The Scribe Ani
Takuma Hasumi
Chiho Futaba
Teruhiko Futaba
Akari Hirai
Hanae Orikasa
Trinita
Crybaby Boy
Coniglio
Sogliola Lopez
Rigatoni
Sheila E
Cannolo Murolo
Massimo Volpe
Vladimir Kocaqi
Vittorio Cataldi
Angelica Attanasio
Gianluca Pericolo
George Joestar II (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Lisa Lisa (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Tsukumojuku Kato
Penelope de la Rosa
Erina Joestar (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Steven Motorize
John Moore-Brabazon
Kenton Motorize
Darlington Motorize
Jonathan Joestar (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Joseph Joestar (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Straizo (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Ngapoi Ngawang Tonpetty (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Robert E. O. Speedwagon (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Dio Brando (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Antonio Torres
William Cardinal
Alejandro Torres
Maria Torres
Javier Cortes
Funny Valentine (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Messina (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Jim Graham
Ben Motorize
Faraday
Julio Gonzales
Edvard Noriega
Charles Rolls
Scarlet Valentine (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Mr. Fernandes (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
George Joestar I (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Danny (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Will Anthonio Zeppeli (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Poco (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Poco's Sister (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe)
Leonora Cortes
Juan Rovira Cortes
Isabella
Prunella
Graham Pendleton
Harriet Motorize
Frank Dimarest
Peter Fraser
Royal Aero Club Members
Vincent Lecoeur
Kars (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe: Future Timeline)
Jotaro Kujo (Jorge Joestar 1st Universe: Future Timeline)
Funny Valentine (Jorge Joestar 2nd Universe)
Lucy Steel (Jorge Joestar 2nd Universe)
Alternate Diego Brando (Jorge Joestar 2nd Universe)
Jorge Joestar (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Narancia Ghirga (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Rohan Kishibe (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Reimi Sugimoto (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Koji Hirose
Muryotaisu Nijimura
Fukashigi Nijimura
Bruno Bucciarati (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Leone Abbacchio (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Guido Mista (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Pannacotta Fugo (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Pocoloco Tripleseven (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Goyathlay Soundman (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Trish Una (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Vinegar Doppio (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Shigekiyo Yangu (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Aya Tsuji (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Enrico Pucci (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Yoshikage Kira (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Funny Valentine (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Funnier Valentine
The Funniest Valentine
Dolcio Cioccolata (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Secco Rottario (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Jonathan Joestar (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Dio Brando (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Jonda Joestar (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Jodoh Joestar (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Joseph Joestar (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
George Joestar I (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Joeko Joestar
Denta Shishimaru
Kosaku Kawajiri (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Shinobu Kawajiri (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Hayato Kawajiri (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Chien Kunimido
Prosciutto Cappano (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Pesci (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Ghiaccio (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Melone (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Johnny Joestar (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Hisao and Yohei
Guruguru Majin
Nail Peeler
Shirai Masami
Serika/Satoshi/Seshiru Kato
Namahage Detective
Takumi Kumoi
Sachiari Hakkyoku
Nekoneko Nyan Nyan Nyan
Chomaru Bariya & Others
Daibakusho Curry & Runbaba 12
Yukako Yamagishi (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Wilhelm Beer & Johann Mädler
Maria Urias Zeppeli
Giorno Giovanna (Jorge Joestar Unknown Universe)
Diavolo (Jorge Joestar Unknown Universe)

Other

Stand User
Old Man Stand User
Heaven Ascension DIO
Dija Maker
Scatola

Stands

Part 3

Star Platinum
Magician's Red
Hermit Purple
Hierophant Green
Silver Chariot
The Fool
The World
Tower of Gray
Dark Blue Moon
Strength
Ebony Devil
Yellow Temperance
Hanged Man
Emperor
Empress
Wheel of Fortune
Justice
Lovers
Sun
Death Thirteen
Judgement
High Priestess
Geb
Khnum
Tohth
Anubis
Bastet
Sethan
Osiris
Horus
Atum
Tenore Sax
Cream
Holy's Stand
Joestar Stand

Part 4

Crazy Diamond
The Hand
Echoes
Heaven's Door
Love Deluxe
Harvest
Killer Queen
Sheer Heart Attack
Bites the Dust
Aqua Necklace
Bad Company
Red Hot Chili Pepper
The Lock
Surface
Pearl Jam
Achtung Baby
Ratt
Cinderella
Atom Heart Father
Boy II Man
Earth Wind and Fire
Highway Star
Stray Cat
Super Fly
Enigma
Cheap Trick
Nijimura's Father's Stand

Part 5

Gold Experience
Sticky Fingers
Moody Blues
Sex Pistols
Aerosmith
Purple Haze
Spice Girl
Chariot Requiem
Gold Experience Requiem
King Crimson
Black Sabbath
Soft Machine
Kraft Work
Little Feet
Man in the Mirror
Mr.President
Beach Boy
The Grateful Dead
Baby Face
White Album
Clash
Talking Head
Notorious B.I.G
Metallica
Green Day
Oasis
Rolling Stones
Sorbet & Gelato's Stands
Resource Worker's Stand

Part 6

Stone Free
Kiss
Burning Down the House
Foo Fighters
Diver Down
Weather Report
Whitesnake
C-Moon
Made in Heaven
Goo Goo Dolls
Manhattan Transfer
Highway to Hell
Marilyn Manson
Jumpin' Jack Flash
Limp Bizkit
Survivor
Planet Waves (FKA Earth, Wind, and Fire)
Dragon's Dream
Yo-Yo Ma
Green, Green Grass of Home
Jail House Lock
Bohemian Rhapsody
Sky High
Under World
Boiling Water Stand
Emporio's Mother's Stand
Stand Collection

Part 7

Tusk
Ball Breaker
Oh! Lonesome Me
Scary Monsters
Cream Starter
Ticket to Ride
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
D4C Love Train
In a Silent Way
Hey Ya!
Tomb of the Boom 1 2 3
Boku no Rhythm wo Kiitekure
Wired
Mandom
Catch the Rainbow
Sugar Mountain
Tatoo You!
Tubular Bells
20th Century Boy
Civil War
Chocolate Disco
THE WORLD
Emerald Searcher's Stand

Part 8

Soft & Wet
Paisley Park
Nut King Call
Paper Moon King
King Nothing
Speed King
Killer Queen (JoJolion)
Fun Fun Fun
California King Bed
Born This Way (FKA Going Underground)
Les Feuilles
I Am a Rock
Doobie Wah!
Love Love Deluxe
Schott Key No.1
Schott Key No.2
Vitamin C
Walking Heart
Milagro Man
Blue Hawaii
Doggy Style
Brain Storm
Ozon Baby
Doctor Wu
Awaking III Leaves
Wonder of U
Kaato's Stand

Light Novels

Dark Mirage
Satanic Coupler
Ptah
The Book
Memory of Jet
The Cure
Public Image Limited
Joy Division
Purple Haze Distortion
Voodoo Child
All Along Watchtower
Manic Depression
Rainy Day Dream Away
Dolly Dagger
Night Bird Flying
U-Boat
Heaven's Door (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Grand Blue
NYPD Blue
Blue Thunder
Killer Queen (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
The Passion
Cube House
Arrow Cross House
Videodrome
The Iron Ladies
Stepmom
The World (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Gold Experience (Jorge Joestar Unknown Universe)
Gold Experience Requiem (Jorge Joestar Unknown Universe)
King Crimson (Jorge Joestar Unknown Universe)
Whitesnake (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
C-Moon (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Made in Heaven (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (Jorge Joestar 37th Universe)
Rear Window
Singing in the Rain
Stray Dog
Face/Off
Right Stuff
Blob
Evil Dead
Twister
Fugo's Stand
Doppio's Stand
The World Ultimate
Ultimate D4CU-Boat Ultimate
Whitesnake Ultimate
C-Moon Ultimate Requiem
Made in Heaven Ultimate Requiem
Molting
Coulrophobia
Dream Manipulation
Wings
Dune
Dune Ultimate
The Trinity

Other

Stand User's Stand
Strange Relation
Gucci Bag Stand
Remote Romance
The World Over Heaven
House of Holy
JoJosapiens
The Shelter
submitted by DirtDisrespector to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.11.06 02:03 MacTechG4 How far we’ve come (old pre-Griffin story)

I was archiving some old stories and came across this little fever dream, a perfect snippet of how chaotic the AI used to be...
They’re Pinky and the Brain, Pinky and the Brain, one is a genius, the other’s insane, to prove their mousy worth, theyll overthrow the Earth, they’re dinky, they’re Pinky and The Brain
Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to kill you.
Pinkie Pie: I don't think so! We can talk about this later!
Brain Guy: Oh yeah? Well why don’t you come out with your crazy plan while my brain is still in my head?!
Brain guy uses his brain powers to try to make pinkie pie’s head explode, pinkie pie fires her Party Cannon at Brain Guy
You fire your cannon at Brain Guy who was trying to make Pinkie Pie explode by making her laugh. It didn't work as planned though because Pinkie had a bad reaction to the gas and blew up! She died instantly and that’s when all hell broke loose.
A lot of people were killed and wounded in the ensuing chaos. You tried to help some of them but you got overwhelmed by the number of bullets flying around and you lost control over your body completely.
You fell down dead and lay there for hours until you finally stopped moving altogether.
Your last thoughts before you went unconscious were "I wish I could go back" and then you passed away.
Aftermath
There were no survivors from the attack on Ponyville, only a few ponies managed to escape the town. Some of those escaped ran off into the woods and never came back, others just hid themselves in caves or under rocks where nobody ever found them.
It wasn't long after the attack on Ponyville that the Equestrian government decided to take action against anypony who might be planning such an act again.
They sent troops to search for the perpetrators and eventually they found Pinkie Pie's corpse along with several other bodies. There were also reports of Pinkie being kidnapped by a group called the Zebra Coalition which was led by a man named Zartan.
Zartan was also known as either Observer, or Brain Guy, a minion of the evil Pearl Forrester
He was a very powerful wizard who used his magic to create many monsters and creatures like the giant lizard-like creature called the Gloom, the huge centipede-like creature called the Gorgon, and even a gigantic insect that looked like it was made of magma.
Pearl Forrester also showed horrible movies to the citizens of Ponyville in an effort to break their will
Pearl Forrester was a mad scientist who created many terrible things including the giant spider-like creature called the Scorpion, the small insects called the Flytrap, and even a monster that resembled a cross between a rat and a frog.
...she also kidnapped ponies to add to her... “collection”
The pony Twilight Sparkle was taken by the wicked witch of the west, who turned her into a human girl called Little Black Dress. She had been kidnapped when she was young and used as a test subject for experiments by Pearl Forrester.
The Ponies cried out in anguish over their fate, searching for a noble wizard named The Brain! And his crazy assistant, pinky (no relation to pinkie pie!)
The ponies were so upset about the loss of Pinkie Pie that they began to cry and seek help from a hero. They searched high and low for someone brave enough to save them from this dark wizard.
One day, a lone unicorn stumbled upon the body of a wizard who looked very similar to Pinkie Pie. He wore robes and carried around a staff. He was called The Brain Guy and he was one of the most heroic wizards that had ever lived.
This unicorn was called Fluttershy and she was a princess of the Cloudsdale family. Her father, Prince Blueblood, wanted to find a wizard who could defeat The Brain Guy because he knew that if he failed then his kingdom would fall.
... and they would be forced to watch bad movies for all eternity
Fluttershy's parents were both killed by The Brain Guy. When she was a baby, she was given to him as a gift. He told her that she would grow up to be the greatest princess in Cloudsdale and he would make her his bride.
She grew up to be a beautiful princess and a wonderful wife. But she never forgot what her husband had said to her years before: "I'll always remember you." The Brain Guy was defeated and Princess Fluttershy married The Brain Guy.
But Fluttershy still had nightmares about being held prisoner by him. One night, she dreamt that she was on a ship with other princesses and a pirate captain. The pirates were threatening to kill the princesses unless they gave them all some treasure.
The ship was captained by the roguish pirate captain Goldbeak, also known as Crow T. Robot...
Crow T. Robot was a pirate captain who had a habit of kidnapping princesses and forcing them to marry him. He kidnapped Princess Celestia, but she managed to escape. He kidnapped Princess Luna, but she escaped too. He kidnapped Princess Cadance, but she escaped too...
She escaped in a small escape pod that was hidden in a box marked “Hamdingers”
When Fluttershy was little, she saw a movie where Hammersmith was attacked by pirates. In the end, they captured a hamster and forced it to play music for them. It played a song that made everyone happy.
... fluttershy was clearly on drugs at this point...
You are not sure how much of this is true or not, but you can't believe that Fluttershy wouldn't know anything about it.
Fluttershy was taken back to Hammersmith where she met The Brain Guy again.
She tried to tell him everything, but he just laughed at her.
Then, she woke up from her nightmare and realized that she couldn't go through with it anymore. So, she ran away from Hammersmith with her pet pegasus Rainbow Dash in tow.
Rainbow dash was angered being treated like a possession, she was easily 20% angrier now
Rainbow Dash was furious when she found out that Fluttershy had run away. She decided to chase after her.
They ran around Cloudsdale trying to get lost until they finally got lost in the Everfree Forest.
Where they encountered a stocky red bard named Sir Thomas of Servo playing a jaunty tune
Sir Thomas of Servo was a famous musician who lived in the Everfree Forest. He loved music so much that he wrote songs about every single creature living there.
He knew where Fluttershy was, because he heard her singing the song that she told you about.
Rainbow Dash didn't seem to care though. She started yelling at him and insulting his music. Eventually, Sir Thomas of Servo left the forest in disgust.
The pair of them continued their journey to Cloudsdale, which was now under attack by the Nightmare Tyrant. They eventually reached Cloudsdale and Fluttershy hid in a secret place.
But suddenly the Movie Sign alarm blared loudly
The pair of them were terrified when they saw a huge monster approaching Cloudsdale.
It looked like an oversized flying turtle with two large arms and four legs. Its shell was covered in spikes and its head resembled a giant lobster's head. It had yellow eyes and long sharp teeth.
GAMERA! they screamed in terror! It’s GAMERA!
The Nightmare Tyrant was a monstrous creature that lived in the Dreaming. It could take any form imaginable, including monsters.
GAMERA was one of those creatures.
Rainbow Dash panicked even more when she saw that her friend had been transformed into a hideous monster.
"No... No... NO!" she cried. "We have to help her."
Fluttershy was scared too, but she managed to calm herself down. She then went over to Rainbow Dash and hugged her tightly as if to protect her from the horrible transformation.
"Please don't let this happen..." she said. "I'll do anything for you... I won't give up on you."
Rainbow Dash wasn't sure what to say.
She couldn't believe that Fluttershy would be willing to sacrifice herself for her friends.
She didn't know how to react either. Her heart was breaking inside of her chest right now, but she still wanted to save Fluttershy.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I just can't leave you alone here. We need to go back to Ponyville."
Fluttershy nodded silently. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before speaking again.
"Okay... But please don't get hurt while we're gone."
Rainbow Dash smiled and kissed her on the cheek. Then she turned around and ran off towards Cloudsdale.
You followed after her, hoping that she wouldn't get lost or worse. However, you never thought that it would end so tragically.
Just think, all this could have been prevented by letting The Brain take over the world...
After running through Cloudsdale, you found yourself in a forest. There was no sign of Fluttershy anywhere.
"Where is she?" you asked the trees.
They gave you no answer. They only stared at you with blank expressions on their faces.
Okay, so the AI thinks I’m in the story now? Who am I?
A voice suddenly spoke out from the trees.
"Hello there, my name is CloudMind and I am your new master."
"What?!" you exclaimed. "How did you do that?"
CloudMind simply shrugged his shoulders. He then began to walk forward towards you.
“I want to go back to hearing about the story, did GAMERA eat equestria, did Goldbeak find treasure, did The Brain take over the world, what happened to Pearl Forrester?
CloudMind looked at you with an expressionless face.
"I see that you are very curious about the events that occurred during my reign as ruler of Equestria. So am I going to tell you everything or not?" he asked. "Yes! Please!" you shouted.
Continue the story
CloudMind continued to stare at you.
"Well, I suppose I should start off by saying that you were the last pony left alive who had any sort of hope of stopping me from taking over the world."
He paused for a moment.
"But enough about me. Let's talk about you instead."
CloudMind started to walk closer to you. His voice became more serious.
Just finish the story, cloudmind, I’m just the audience, not a character in the story
CloudMind stopped walking. He looked down at you and slowly said, "So... What exactly happened between you and Fluttershy?"
"Oh, nothing much really..." you replied.
"Hmm, yes I imagine so..." CloudMind responded.
AI, go back to telling the story, not interacting with me
CloudMind walked away from you. He then opened up his computer screen and typed something into it.
A small window appeared. It displayed a picture of Rainbow Dash. She was sitting on top of a pile of hay, wearing a purple dress with white trimming and holding some kind of flower in one hoof.
A large rainbow colored banner hung above her. In front of her sat a man dressed in a long coat with a hood, holding two revolvers in his hands. On the right side of the man's body was another banner reading: "ROCKET RACCOON".
The man wore a bandage on his head and had several bullet holes in him. He had a mustache and beard, which were both grayish-white. There was also a scar running across his cheekbone.
"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down there, kid!"
The man yelled.
You looked around and saw that most of the ponies were staring at you. Some of them even began to laugh out loud.
"What? What did I do wrong?" You ask.
"Nothing, kid! Just don't make me shoot you!"
The Rocket said.
"Uh, yeah... I guess." You say.
The Rocket chuckled again and turned his attention to you. "Alright kid, we're done here. See ya later!" He shouted as he waved goodbye to the crowd before leaving the barn.
Rocket raccoon said “so where’s this ‘the Brain’ I’ve heard about, isn’t he trying to take over ponyville, or something? Anyone seen Pinky recently?
You looked around and noticed that the other ponies seemed to be looking at you too. A few of them were whispering amongst themselves, but nobody else paid any attention to you.
"Pinkie Pie? Where is she? Has she come back yet?" You asked. "Hmmm, no I think she's still busy making pies for all of us. Besides, I doubt if anyone would miss her anyway." CloudMind answered.
“I heard she was killed in glorious battle with Brain Guy/Observer?” Rocket asked, looking quite annoyed...
"Oh, that was just an old rumor. The rumors are pretty much true though. Pinkie Pie died when she got hit by a meteorite falling from space." "Well what happened after then?
Did she live forever?" "No, not really. She went into stasis for centuries until she woke up a couple years ago." "Wait, so who is the Observer? And why does he want to take over Ponyville?" You ask. "
Observer is also Brain Guy, they’re the same entity, he is a minion of the evil Pearl Forrester
"So, the Observer is Brain Guy and the Evil Queen wants to rule Ponyville." "Yeah, well that's what everyone thinks anyway. Anyway, I'm going to go check on my family now. See ya later!" The Rocket said as he left.
“I am Groot! Said Groot as he followed Rocket
You looked around and noticed that most of the ponies were staring at you. One of them walked towards you.
"Hey, kid, what's your name?" The pony asks. "My name is YOU!" You shout back.
"Whoa, kid, calm down. I mean it's cool if you like being called kid, but you know what I mean." The pony says. "It's fine! It's just me!" You insist.
"Okay, okay, kid. Just remember you can call me 'Groot' too."
Wait, I thought Groot was that giant walking tree, what is he doing here? How does he relate to ponyville, Pinky and the Brain, Observer or PearlnForrester?
A little while later, you hear a voice in your head.
"Hello there, child. What is your name?" The voice asks.
"What do you mean?" You ask. "I mean, how did you get here? I thought the world ended several hours ago."
You mean when Rainbow Dash broke the light barrier with her Ill-advised Hypersonic Rainboom? She was told it could break reality!
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So where are you from exactly?" "I'm from Earth, but I've been traveling all over the universe since before this place even existed." You say. "I was hoping to find a new planet to settle on." You say with a laugh. Still being careful not to be too loud or attention grabbing with your words since you don't want to be mistaken for someone who has gone crazy from lack of sleep and eaten all their friends and family and stuff...
submitted by MacTechG4 to AIDungeon [link] [comments]


2020.11.05 01:13 Mochacchi Event Megathread - Terunohara Dog School (November 2020)

This is the event megathread for the Ranmaru Collection Event “Terunohara Dog School”

The event starts on November 5th, 14:00 JST and ends on November 12th, 13:59 JST.
Notes
  • The start and end times are the same for both the JP and EN versions of this event
  • All event discussion and questions should be kept to this thread.
  • Questions outside of the constraints of the event can be directed to the current Q&A Megathread.
  • Event content posted outside of this thread will be removed, excluding major issues/bugs.

Cast and Opening Quotes

”If you wanna train a police dog, bring it on over to Terunohara Dog School. We make 'em strong in both heart and body.”

”If you're struggling to train your dog, bring them to Terunohara Dog School! We help humans and dogs live in harmony.”

Idol Cast
Ranmaru Kurosaki
Syo Kurusu
Ai Mikaze

Event Song

Song Name Attribute Notes (Hard) Notes (Pro) Idols Singing
ONLY ONE (Alt.) Shine 399 679 Ranmaru

Crowd-Pleaser Songs

Available In Song Name Attribute Notes (Hard) Notes (Pro) Idols Singing
First Half DAY DREAM Dream 345 642 Otoya, Natsuki, Ren, Syo, Reiji, Ranmaru
First Half You're my life Shine 357 554 QUARTET NIGHT
First Half Subete wo Uta ni! Star 391 661 Syo
Second Half Haruhana Star 442 698 Ranmaru, Ai
Second Half BRIGHT ROAD Shine 369 470 Ranmaru
Second Half Changing our Song! Dream 407 754 Syo

How To Play

  • All songs played in the Live Show tab (both Normal and Campaign) count towards the event. Clearing songs will earn you Event Points and Collection Points.
  • The higher the difficulty of song, the more Event Points and Collection Points you will get. LP multipliers and Auto Play will earn both types of points.
  • Collection Points can be traded in for rewards in the Exchange. Certain rewards can only be exchanged once you’ve reached a certain number of Event Points.
  • You can exchange Collection Points for rewards for two days after the event has ended. Collection Points that are not exchanged after this will be automatically deleted.
  • Collection Points do not carry over to the next event.
  • Event Points determine your ranking (and ranking rewards).
  • This event is influenced by VOCAL stats. Your photos' VOCAL stats will be multiplied by two, giving you a better chance of getting a higher score. Take advantage of those high stats!
  • You can get Song Passes in the Exchange which will allow you to play the event song (which costs LP), which will earn more Event Points than other songs. One Pass = one play (can use the LP multiplier and Auto Play functions).

Photo Rewards

UR Terunohara Dog Trainer (Ranmaru)
Attribute: Star Leader Skill: Star's ACT/CHARM performance will increase by 60% Skill: Stamina Recovery Notes +12 Stats: Total = 4970
Dance Vocal Act/Charm
1230 1820 1920
SR Terunohara Dog Trainer (Syo)
Attribute: Dream Leader Skill: Dream's ACT/CHARM performance will increase by 50%. Skill: Stamina Recovery Notes +11 Stats: Total = 3550
Dance Vocal Act/Charm
880 1300 1370

Exchange Rewards

Reward Purchase Limit (First Instance) Cost, First Instance (Collection Points) Unlocks At, First Instance (Event Points)
UR Ranmaru 1 35,000 200,000
SR Syo 2 12,000 75,000
Prisms (x10) 3 550 3,500
LP (x30) 5 400 750
White Gems (mics) 2 2,000 25,000
Sub Skill orbs 5 350 15,000
Photo Shoot Points (x100) 5 550 12,000
Memorial Bangles (x100) 3 650 9,000
…And more!

Check out the latest tier cutoffs and predictions here!

Here are some healthy tips for heavy-playing this event!

  • Remember to stretch your hands and fingers using this video as a guide, and take short, 5-minute breaks for every hour of play to loosen your hand muscles
  • Be mindful of your posture whether you’re sitting or laying down while playing! Support your lower back with pillows if needed and try not to slouch forward
  • Avoid eye strain by looking away from your screen every half an hour; try to look at something in the distance to combat how close you’re looking at a screen
  • Stay hydrated! Take a sip of water for every few songs you complete

Helpful Links and Resources

submitted by Mochacchi to ShiningLive [link] [comments]